For some reason it takes WAY more energy for me to simply say "(Insert movie title) fucking sucked" than it does for me to write a thousand words about why it fucking sucked. There's no logical reason why this should be true, but it is. I used to think it came from holding in all of the things I really wanted to say about a film, welling up in my ( Read more... )

Normally I wouldn't do a double-shot. And yet, I was so tired last night and I know a lot of people are intrigued with this flick, so I'm hoping to stop them from flushing their money down the toilet and do something more entertaining, like punching children in their faces.

* * * *

So, as I said before, Skyline sucks.

It had an awesome trailer. I ( Read more... )

Hey, Skyline? You suck ( Read more... )

I liked The Expendables in a kissing-in-the-coatroom kind of way: the build-up was nice, the kiss was pleasant enough, but it was over too quick and in the end? There wasn't much tongue. It was the kind of movie you dream up when you're a kid. If I were making a movie, bro? I'd put Stallone and Jet Li and every action movie bad-ass in it, give ( Read more... )

The Expendables - A report

by Scott Woods on Friday, August 13, 2010 at 4:35pm

[The following information was culled from notes in a Hello Kitty poetry journal left behind in movie theater #16 at the Easton Town Centre after a 12:45 screening of The Expendables. This information is provided before the report of events that followed so as to establish ( Read more... )

The Collector has a really cool premise for a horror film: a robber breaks into a house to steal a jewel he needs to pay off his wife’s loan shark debt, only to discover he’s happened upon a serial killer holding the family hostage. Will he escape or try to help the tortured family escape?

Written by the guys who wrote Saw 4-6, will be writing Saw ( Read more... )

Pontypool, me likey. Smart, reserved, generates a legit sense of dread, builds an interesting mythology. SMART.

This is how it's done.

Click to view

The Super 8 trailer in front of Iron Man 2 is a Cloverfield prequel. No it's not. Yes it is. No, it's actually a sequel-prequel. No, it's totally unrelated. Wait, no it's a squeakuel. Nope, not related at all. That's what the papers said.

It just happens to be directed by the producer of Cloverfield, put together by the same production company as ( Read more... )

While Hollywood has done some pretty wretched things in the name of making a dollar, The Fourth Kind is pretty low even for them ( Read more... )

Three movies whose DVD release you should wait for so you can piss on them directly and with fervor:

1) Planet 51
We are officially at the point where you can hold your nose up at certain animated movies over others. While pretty, this pitiful exercise in specie-reversal is bland, predictable from the outset and left all its funny parts in the ( Read more... )