Three Films For Me To Poop On
Three movies whose DVD release you should wait for so you can piss on them directly and with fervor:
1) Planet 51
We are officially at the point where you can hold your nose up at certain animated movies over others. While pretty, this pitiful exercise in specie-reversal is bland, predictable from the outset and left all its funny parts in the trailer. The astronaut is not sufficiently shocked at finding himself on an alien world and the easter eggs in this film (the alien town modeled on Back to the Future or the Alien puppy, who in an extra nod to the original also stows away on the astronaut's ship when it leaves) do not compensate for a blah story and script. Even the kids in the audience weren't enamored of this.
2) The Men Who Stare At Goats
This wannabe-Coen Brothers film also gave us what charm it had in the trailer. The remaining 119 minutes of this film is dull, unnecessary and about as based on a true story as my dick is based on your mom's balls.
3) The Fourth Kind
I was actually offended by this film, which was a fascinating reaction to have. I was so offended I'm going to have to write a seperate entry for it.
1) Planet 51
We are officially at the point where you can hold your nose up at certain animated movies over others. While pretty, this pitiful exercise in specie-reversal is bland, predictable from the outset and left all its funny parts in the trailer. The astronaut is not sufficiently shocked at finding himself on an alien world and the easter eggs in this film (the alien town modeled on Back to the Future or the Alien puppy, who in an extra nod to the original also stows away on the astronaut's ship when it leaves) do not compensate for a blah story and script. Even the kids in the audience weren't enamored of this.
2) The Men Who Stare At Goats
This wannabe-Coen Brothers film also gave us what charm it had in the trailer. The remaining 119 minutes of this film is dull, unnecessary and about as based on a true story as my dick is based on your mom's balls.
3) The Fourth Kind
I was actually offended by this film, which was a fascinating reaction to have. I was so offended I'm going to have to write a seperate entry for it.