This is the kind of beautifully bad where even the smallest details are stupid. It’s layers on layers of badness, bad at the largest level and at the smallest. It’s like some great Mandelbrot fractal of bad.
-Wolfychan

Gather ’round, heave_ho crew, and listen to the tale of a Sue so beautifully bad that I could scarce go a paragraph without chuckling or gaping in ( Read more... )

TITLE: Bound by Blood

CULPRIT: JackSparrowsWench

SUMMARY: Story about a half sister Jack Sparrow never knew existed. Things will get good!! Inc Yes, heave_ho-ers, this Suethor is pulling a Morgan le Fay on us! Ye be warned.

Best Line: “Picture Kate Beckinsale in the role of Jack’s half sister.” No, actually, I’d prefer to have you WRITE the ( Read more... )

We-he-hell, I’ve been wondering when our first “putrescent” was going to crop up this week. Which fic would be so hopelessly below the average Suefic in writing or characterization that I would give it my worst verdict. Now I know, and as always, I wish I didn’t-but I just can’t look away from this shipwreck ( Read more... )

TITLE: COTBP Tales of the Abandoned Wife

CULPRIT: ValueMyHeart

SUMMARY: Tortuga is suppose to be a pirates dream right? WRONG! Meet Aurora, the wife Jack left behind long ago. Only now he reliezes that he wants her back, but what is she doesnt? A deal is struck, who will won? Jack the pirate? Or Aurora the abondoned wife?

Best Chapter:Ahem ( Read more... )

This whole fic is centered on the page, and I would hate for my commentary to interfere with this author’s creative formatting. So…kiss left-alignment good-bye, guys! Muahahaha.

TITLE: Chloe

CULPRIT: Sing4mesoftly I think I’ll just wail, if that’s all right with you.

SUMMARY: jack& OC, they thought theyd never see eachother again, but what ( Read more... )

TITLE: Blessed Curse, chapters 4-9  ( Read about 1-3 here.)
CULPRIT: Yamirenamon

MAJOR, MAJOR WARNING!  Jack/Barbossa mpreg.  You heard me.  Leading to Davy/Jack non-con tentacle sex.  Which ought to make further warnings redundant, but I’m rating this one NC-170 because really, in a perfect world, no-one should be reading shit like this.  The ( Read more... )

TITLE: Blessed Curse
CULPRIT: Yamirenamon

MAJOR, MAJOR WARNING!  Jack/Barbossa mpreg.  You heard me.  Leading to Davy/Jack non-con tentacle sex.  Which ought to make further warnings redundant, but I’m rating this one NC-170 because really, in a perfect world, no-one should be reading shit like this.  The offences against English syntax and ( Read more... )

 First time I've done something like this, but this fic really irked me.

TITLE: The Price of Rum Which has absolutely nothing to do with the story. But when have titles ever related to the story? Oh, that’s right, in good-fic.

CULPRIT: Lydia NightShade

SUMMARY: Slight AU: No skeletons, curses, or madly in love with Elizabeth. An old enemy of Jack ( ( Read more... )

Think a Jack Sparrow-like Sirius Black accosting Elizabeth Swann is bad? Well, it is. It’s nothing, though, compared to this fresh horror. I…I find myself frozen with disbelief, so you’ll forgive me if this report is short ( Read more... )

TITLE: Elizabeth_SwannBlack
CULPRIT: Padfootz-luvr
SUMMARY: POTC-HP crossover: Elizabeth Swann is transported to Potterland where she meets Sirius Black. SBES. CHAPTER 5 UP! R & R pls!

Best Line: "It seems that fate had some purpose for you here," Dumbledore said. "We should probably ( Read more... )