lonely | 4shatteredstars

Hello Again

4shatteredstars May 29, 2016 07:39

Its weird to be here again after so long and after so much has changed. Who is left ( Read more... )

writing, depression, decisions, depressed, friends, pain, relationships, russ, lonely, love, best friends, #people just don't understand, anxiety, things that hurt, mother, support, moving out, #no one is listening to you shut up, panic, loneliness, friend, prose, codenames, worry, explanation, people, stress, insane, suicide

Often, I really dislike the way that I make myself feel.

I just get stuck inside my head, its like Inception. I think too much and end up trapped in a particular train of thought. Trapped in how depressed I feel. Its like a black hole, I've already crossed the event horizon and there I am compressing.

I suppose I deserve all the things that have ( Read more... )

things that hurt, depression, #oh look a movie reference, depressed, #no one is listening to you shut up, loneliness, pain, worry, russ, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, lonely, #oh yes i do reflect, distance

Dance

4shatteredstars May 29, 2012 20:41

Its like watching someone kill me slowly in the mirror, some of these days. Its deliciously disturbing watching yourself die piece by piece, bit by bit and knowing its all the the product of something that you can't control. Something, you can't combat. Not like this. Its like being stuck in the dream from one of my favorite movies, old enough to ( Read more... )

decisions, college plans, moonlight, apathy, russ, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, love, life, #parents just don't understand, dance, zukii, panic, annoyance, worry, sad, insane, disappointed, depressed, fear, pain, guilt, lonely, #high school graduate, college, anxiety, #people just don't understand, disappointment, #what is my life, loneliness, #what is wrong with the world today, prose, rambling, anger

I Try So Hard; Can't Seem To Get Away From Misery

4shatteredstars Feb 25, 2012 18:20

Well here I am looking at my life and my choices and thinking about how they couldn't have gone much differently. First off, I would like to say that I have the best, most loving boyfriend in the entire world. Russ drove over 400 miles (just one way, mind you) to be with me last weekend. This was also the day after his 19th birthday. He cares about ( Read more... )

depressed, #lions and tigers and boys oh my!, russ, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, lonely, #oh yes i do reflect, love, things that hurt, #people just don't understand, life, random things, #what is my life, panic, loneliness, worry, people, stress, drexel university

Happy Valentine's Day, Russ!

4shatteredstars Feb 14, 2012 11:52

My Love

Spent my whole life trying to find my missing pieces
Covering up my imperfections
Little did I know, I was looking for
A single missing piece

Don't you realize that you complete me?
Make me feel as if
I was never broken
Never hurt, never worried
Never scared

Forget all my scars
My cracks, my tears
All the wounds I've accumulated over all these years

I ( Read more... )

valentine's day, life, poem, #lions and tigers and boys oh my!, people, relationships, russ, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, lonely, #oh yes i do reflect, love, best friends, poetry

Plans

4shatteredstars Jan 29, 2012 00:00

I sincerely hate getting all dressed up to end up going nowhere. This happens to me surprisingly often. Like tonight.

I look really great, and now I'm not going anywhere.

Its nights like this that reaffirm my decision to leave Drexel.

disappointed, depressed, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, lonely, college, #people just don't understand, life, disappointment, #what is my life, #no one is listening to you shut up, annoyance, loneliness, #what is wrong with the world today, people, anger, #unimpressed face, drexel university

ALL The Updates!

4shatteredstars Jan 18, 2012 11:26

Hello Everyone!

I know I've been M.I.A for like the last month but now I'm back.

Here are the things that have occurred in my life since I last updated:

As you all know I've been kind of hopelessly in love with my best friend, Russ. Since, I'm not really sure how else to say this other than just putting it out there: Russ is my boyfriend. I never ( Read more... )

decisions, college applications, school, #lions and tigers and boys oh my!, friends, relationships, russ, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, lonely, #high school graduate, #oh yes i do reflect, love, best friends, school starting, college, life, #forget this! its second semester, busy, annoyance, worry, academics, friend, people, anger, stress, this chick here, drexel university

Dificulties

4shatteredstars Nov 04, 2011 02:07

I feel like every college kid has that moment when they want to drop out of school because they're poor and no longer believe in their academic abilities.

I am having that moment.

My life is so difficult right now and I know I have to stick with it because its better in the long run...

But right now I just kinda want to die.

college plans, fear, depressed, guilt, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, lonely, #high school graduate, #oh yes i do reflect, college, #people just don't understand, life, #what is my life, #no one is listening to you shut up, panic, sad, people, stress, drexel university, november

It Feels Like More Than Distance Between Us...

4shatteredstars Oct 17, 2011 22:00

Everyone has different ways of showing affection, I suppose.

I'm one of the ones that constantly informs people how much I miss them so that they never have any doubt. I'm always worried that I care much more about certain people than they do about me. Its a really unpleasant feeling and it leads to me trying to restrain my affection, and I feel ( Read more... )

fear, depressed, school, #lions and tigers and boys oh my!, friends, relationships, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, lonely, love, college, things that hurt, #people just don't understand, life, #no one is listening to you shut up, loneliness, people, sad, #unimpressed face, this chick here, drexel university, distance

On Belonging

4shatteredstars Aug 26, 2011 14:38

So the stupid thing about going to college, is the fact that you have to start all over again: new friends, new school, sometimes a new city. Some people would say that this is the exciting part, that this is where your life really begins. But there's the good kind of excitement and the bad kind of excitement and I'd say that college is an even mix ( Read more... )

college plans, moonlight, friends, relationships, russ, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, #oh yes i do reflect, love, things that hurt, life, zukii, #no one is listening to you shut up, panic, #random miscellaneous, excitement, worry, sad, distance, writing, #i read books too, fear, school, english, #lions and tigers and boys oh my!, opinions, lonely, best friends, college, school starting, #people just don't understand, anxiety, #what is my life, loneliness, summer reading, academics, lists, rambling, people, stress, this chick here, drexel university, learner's permit, about me