I still don't have a job and my unemployment is only going to be 150$ a week. I feel desperate and terrified.

I have been plagued with thoughts of the future lately. Its very weird. I've been thinking of things like future jobs, marriage and having kids. Its weird to be old enough to actually be thinking about these things.

I still feel like a little kid, even though technically I'm pretty much a grown woman. I even have bills and other adult things ( Read more... )

So, friends I just paid next semester's tuition. I could only afford to take 5 credits because I am buying a car. Its just really disappointing because I saved for months for these two things and I feel like I've barely scraped together the money.

The 2 classes I am taking cost nearly $800. The car I'm buying from my uncle, a 2000 Saturn is going to ( Read more... )

Well, my phone has been acting up lately. I got it replaced about a month ago, the same model just new. It stopped working again last week. So, they ordered the new replacement. I went and picked that up today and then went to take my Psychology exam.

The Psychology final was absolute misery. I could not remember most of the stuff on the test, even ( Read more... )

I suppose I've grown complacent and too used to my cow like size. At 5' 6 and 175 pounds, I'm not a small woman.To tell you the truth, none of the adjectives used to describe anything about my physical appearance would involve any word that means anything close to small.

In fact, I am the fattest I've ever been in my entire life. I'm unhappy about ( Read more... )

Its like watching someone kill me slowly in the mirror, some of these days. Its deliciously disturbing watching yourself die piece by piece, bit by bit and knowing its all the the product of something that you can't control. Something, you can't combat. Not like this. Its like being stuck in the dream from one of my favorite movies, old enough to ( Read more... )

Well, everyone. It's official. I've withdrawn from Drexel University and am returning home to go to NoVA Community College for the next term. It was an intensely difficult decision to make and many tears were shed while I was making it. But, the bottom line is I was miserable at Drexel and I really wasn't doing well in my classes in any way.

My ( Read more... )

I have reached the point of worrying where I can't do it anymore. If you will recall the title poem of this blog, in the stanza that contains the line "locked inside this awful chest", that is about where I am right now emotionally. Recently, I had to make a decision that caused me such... emotional turmoil that even though I was exhausted, I lay ( Read more... )

If you had told me a year ago that I would be filling out another college application right now that wasn't for Sarah Lawrence, I'd have probably punched you in the face. However, here I am- yet again.

This time around its a Transfer Application for Virginia Tech. I am just as stressed, if not more stressed than I was the last time around. I have a ( Read more... )

Finals next week.

Let me just tell you how not excited I am. I feel like I'm the worst student in the world. Logically, I know that I'm not because I do most of my work. And out of most of the work I do; I do most of that on time. [Yeah, INCEPTION SENTENCE.] But, I don't feel emotionally prepared for Finals. However, this may be due to the fact that ( Read more... )