anxiety | 4shatteredstars

Hello Again

4shatteredstars May 29, 2016 07:39

Its weird to be here again after so long and after so much has changed. Who is left ( Read more... )

writing, depression, decisions, depressed, friends, pain, relationships, russ, lonely, love, best friends, #people just don't understand, anxiety, things that hurt, mother, support, moving out, #no one is listening to you shut up, panic, loneliness, friend, prose, codenames, worry, explanation, people, stress, insane, suicide

I know less than Jon Snow.

It has been an awful day. I had a conversation with Russ about my life and he said a lot of things that cut deep. But the horrifying thing is that he is totally right.

I am not doing well at this whole life thing. I haven't been in years. And honestly, while I feel significantly better emotionally living on my own. I'm ( Read more... )

depression, decisions, college plans, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, #high school graduate, #oh yes i do reflect, love, anxiety, #people just don't understand, life, #having a job, #what is my life, loneliness, #what is wrong with the world today, academics, #college acceptance

Money, Its Always Money

4shatteredstars Dec 28, 2012 00:08

So, friends I just paid next semester's tuition. I could only afford to take 5 credits because I am buying a car. Its just really disappointing because I saved for months for these two things and I feel like I've barely scraped together the money.

The 2 classes I am taking cost nearly $800. The car I'm buying from my uncle, a 2000 Saturn is going to ( Read more... )

anxiety, life, #40 pound challenge, moving out, #what is my life, fear, school, #what is wrong with the world today, academics, lists, #oh yes i do reflect, stress, school starting

Dance

4shatteredstars May 29, 2012 20:41

Its like watching someone kill me slowly in the mirror, some of these days. Its deliciously disturbing watching yourself die piece by piece, bit by bit and knowing its all the the product of something that you can't control. Something, you can't combat. Not like this. Its like being stuck in the dream from one of my favorite movies, old enough to ( Read more... )

decisions, college plans, moonlight, apathy, russ, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, love, life, #parents just don't understand, dance, zukii, panic, annoyance, worry, sad, insane, disappointed, depressed, fear, pain, guilt, lonely, #high school graduate, college, anxiety, #people just don't understand, disappointment, #what is my life, loneliness, #what is wrong with the world today, prose, rambling, anger

It's 5 O'Clock In The Morning

4shatteredstars Apr 05, 2012 05:23

You know, its really stupid when an upsetting conversation keeps you up all night. Because really you only have one option when you're done crying about it.

Instant replay.

You know you're not going to resolve the situation overnight, so your mind decides to become your own personal torture device- reconsidering the situation that sparked the ( Read more... )

decisions, #lions and tigers and boys oh my!, russ, #oh yes i do reflect, love, ring, anxiety, #people just don't understand, life, #men don't ever understand, #what is my life, #my little brony, #no one is listening to you shut up, #what is wrong with the world today, worry, sad, #unimpressed face, sex

Philadelphia Lost

4shatteredstars Mar 22, 2012 10:17

Well, everyone. It's official. I've withdrawn from Drexel University and am returning home to go to NoVA Community College for the next term. It was an intensely difficult decision to make and many tears were shed while I was making it. But, the bottom line is I was miserable at Drexel and I really wasn't doing well in my classes in any way.

My ( Read more... )

disappointed, depression, decisions, college plans, college applications, fear, depressed, #lions and tigers and boys oh my!, russ, guilt, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, #high school graduate, #oh yes i do reflect, love, best friends, college, anxiety, life, support, #what is my life, disappointment, #what is wrong with the world today, worry, #unimpressed face, withdraw, drexel university

These Four Shattered Stars

4shatteredstars Feb 01, 2012 22:10

I have reached the point of worrying where I can't do it anymore. If you will recall the title poem of this blog, in the stanza that contains the line "locked inside this awful chest", that is about where I am right now emotionally. Recently, I had to make a decision that caused me such... emotional turmoil that even though I was exhausted, I lay ( Read more... )

fear, depressed, #lions and tigers and boys oh my!, russ, guilt, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, #oh yes i do reflect, love, poetry, anxiety, #people just don't understand, shattered star poem, life, poem, #what is my life, #no one is listening to you shut up, panic, #what is wrong with the world today, people, shattered stars poem

Its Beginning to Look A Lot Like Finals

4shatteredstars Dec 03, 2011 14:54

Finals next week.

Let me just tell you how not excited I am. I feel like I'm the worst student in the world. Logically, I know that I'm not because I do most of my work. And out of most of the work I do; I do most of that on time. [Yeah, INCEPTION SENTENCE.] But, I don't feel emotionally prepared for Finals. However, this may be due to the fact that ( Read more... )

college plans, fun stuff, fear, moonlight, school, #lions and tigers and boys oh my!, friends, relationships, russ, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, #high school graduate, love, best friends, college, anxiety, exams, sarah lawrence college, life, random things, zukii, #what is my life, #my little brony, panic, #what is wrong with the world today, fun, worry, people, #unimpressed face, stress, drexel university, distance

On Belonging

4shatteredstars Aug 26, 2011 14:38

So the stupid thing about going to college, is the fact that you have to start all over again: new friends, new school, sometimes a new city. Some people would say that this is the exciting part, that this is where your life really begins. But there's the good kind of excitement and the bad kind of excitement and I'd say that college is an even mix ( Read more... )

college plans, moonlight, friends, relationships, russ, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, #oh yes i do reflect, love, things that hurt, life, zukii, #no one is listening to you shut up, panic, #random miscellaneous, excitement, worry, sad, distance, writing, #i read books too, fear, school, english, #lions and tigers and boys oh my!, opinions, lonely, best friends, college, school starting, #people just don't understand, anxiety, #what is my life, loneliness, summer reading, academics, lists, rambling, people, stress, this chick here, drexel university, learner's permit, about me

Update

4shatteredstars Apr 21, 2011 21:55

--I'm going to Drexel. Its a nice place. I visited today.

--I got my Prom Dress in the mail

--Ate at Pat's while I was in Philly.

--Felt afraid of college.

--Felt unprepared for life in general.

disappointed, depression, decisions, depressed, #hopes dreams and other nonsense, lonely, #oh yes i do reflect, anxiety, #people just don't understand, life, random things, disappointment, #no one is listening to you shut up, loneliness, #random miscellaneous, worry, lists, rambling, drexel university