I was wrong. I'm losing my shit again because now there are memorial plans, we have plane tickets, hotel reservations. This is real. It's not supposed to be. This is a bad dream, or a bad movie, or a bad fiction-of-some-variety. This is not my actual life. Except it is ( Read more... )

It's a teeny, tiny, itty bitty bit easier today. I haven't wailed. I have cried. Multiple times. But not in the same gut-wrenching way, mostly. I cried the hardest after I put the banana nut bread in the oven, based on my mother's recipe, in her handwriting in my recipe box she gave me years ago. It called for baking soda and I was expecting ( Read more... )

I called my father this morning to wish him a happy birthday ( Read more... )

Today we filled out the paperwork to get Penny evaluated for a speech delay and followup therapy. It wasn't as bad as I thought since the woman was really nice and grandmotherly instead of SO WHEN DID YOU STOP BEATING YOUR DAUGHTER etc. Lots of signatures required though I opted out of the one to share information with the local school district-- ( Read more... )

Things are settling in well. Penny sleeps through the night most of the time, and isn't too jealous--she treats Ellie like a fragile doll, love to tuck her in and stroke her face and give her hugs. There's still issues when Ellie is hungry and Penny MUST BE ON MOMMY'S LAP NOOOOOOOOOW but we usually work it out ( Read more... )

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Egads, it took a long time to get my desktop set up, and I don't like LJing on my laptop, so um, hey how you doing? Long time no see ( Read more... )

I hate packing ( Read more... )

Why on earth did I think I might just get out of morning sickness duty

dammit