I was thinking of you this morning while I planted squash seeds as a distraction. I remember telling Beardo awhile ago that it was odd, so many of my friends losing a parent recently and I wondered if I was just the age where most of the grandparents have passed and now it's our parents. I really thought my mom would live to be 80 or 90, she had no heart problems, she passed all the tests before her surgery (and they tested the hell out of her because of her size). It's being called natural causes, no autopsy, so I'll never know for sure what happened but I suspect a blood clot from being sedentary, Beardo guesses strain from getting up while being both dehydrated and high sugar. Which reminds me that i really need to eat or drink something but I have no appetite at all right now. I can't put this on FB because some of my parents' friends have friended me and I don't know who knows and who doesn't and FB is not the way I would want to find out that a decades-long friendship is gone. Sorry for the rambling, I'm all over the place
( ... )
It's weird, I had a wild hair to look at livejournal just now and that's not really a thing I do much anymore. I'm glad I did. I've been reading your posts, sweetheart, and I just want you to know that I am still so, so hurting for you. If there is anything in the whole wide world I can do for you, just say the word and consider it done. I may be a Person From The Internet, but I remember how much you and so many others helped and listened to me in the days after I lost my dad and I would bend over backwards to return just a sliver of what you did for me back to you.
I hope the healing begins quickly and brings you relief and happy memories, because they are so important, even now. I hope you are being kind to yourself and giving yourself as much time as you can (with two younguns) to grieve and do whatever you need to do to calm your heart. I hope your girls grow up with wonderful stories of their Mimi and the knowledge that she was proud of them.
Love you, Sis. For real. You know where to find me if you need an ear.
I hadn't been doing much LJ since Facebook sucked me (and most of my F-list) in, but FB isn't really appropriate. I need to process this hell and writing all this shit out helped me to deal with stuff in the past, you know?
NT, you are never just a Person From the Internet, for real. Love you too.
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I hope the healing begins quickly and brings you relief and happy memories, because they are so important, even now. I hope you are being kind to yourself and giving yourself as much time as you can (with two younguns) to grieve and do whatever you need to do to calm your heart. I hope your girls grow up with wonderful stories of their Mimi and the knowledge that she was proud of them.
Love you, Sis. For real. You know where to find me if you need an ear.
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NT, you are never just a Person From the Internet, for real. Love you too.
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