Hanging By A Thread 20/?
Title: Hanging By A Moment
Pairing: Yoochun/Junsu, Yunho/Jaejoong, Yunho/Changmin
Rating: PG-15 to NC-17 (for some parts)
Genre: fluff, angst, romance
Length: 20/?
Warning(s): violence, some language, mentions of harassment and rape, some bullying
Summary:
You are the light that's leading me to the place
Where I find peace again
You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the life to my soul
You are my purpose
You're everything
A/N: another weekly update :) enjoy!
-20-
YOOCHUN
“Taeyeon’s self-centered and a bit of a spoiled brat, to tell you the truth.” Junsu said. “She’s usually harmless but she’s used to getting her way and everyone just bends over and gives her what she wants.”
I remained silent pondering what Junsu just said. It’s not really hard to come to a conclusion.
“She was your girlfriend.” I said. It was more of a statement than a question.
I knew.
I knew because of the way she just couldn’t keep her eyes off of Junsu and the way she wants to always be close to him. It’s the same as what I feel whenever I’m with Junsu.
“You’re not jealous?” Junsu asked.
“I am.” I answered. “I just understand how she feels. Somewhat.”
“But you’re not self-centered.” Junsu said. “You’re not spoiled either. You’re the complete opposite.”
“You really should go and talk to Taeyeon-sshi.” I repeat. “She still loves you. You and I both see that.”
“No.” Junsu said. “We’ve already talked. I already said what I had to before. I have nothing more to explain to her. She knows this. She’s just being stubborn about it.”
“Taeyeon had worried so much about you, you know.” Heechul said with a sad yet understanding smile. “Especially after…” he trailed off looking away. “And even after you’d gone away. You know how she is. She’d hoped you’d come back after a bit of time. I did too. But you didn’t and I understand why. Taeyeon almost went crazy with worry and wanting to see you.”
Junsu stayed silent. I looked at him and sighed.
“Now who’s the one being stubborn?” I half joked. “Go. Talk to her.” I said taking his hand in mine and squeezing it reassuringly. “Please? Just so she can have peace of mind.” Junsu looked at me for a moment before sighing in defeat.
“Alright.” Junsu conceded. “I’ll talk to her. Wait for me here?” he asked.
“I will.” I said letting him hug me and then he kissed my forehead before leaving.
~
“So… if Jaejoong-sshi hadn’t…” I started but couldn’t get the last words out. “Junsu wouldn’t have had to break up with her?” I asked.
Heechul shook his head before replying.
“That day, we were all together, Jaejoong, Yunho, Junsu, Taeyeon and I.” Heechul said. “We’d gone out together and were on our way home when the accident happened. Taeyeon and I were walking a bit ahead because Junsu and Jaejoong were teasing Yunho and… just… the next thing we knew…” Heechul took a breath. “Jaejoong died in Yunho’s and Junsu’s arms.”
“It was chaos all over.” Heechul continued. “Then the ambulance and police arrived. They took the four of us in, to ask us about the accident. It was then that Junsu said that it was his fault. That he pushed Jaejoong to his death.”
“Pushed Jaejoong?” I gasped. “But… that’s not true! That’s ridiculous.”
“I thought Jaejoong-sshi had pushed Junsu away to save him.” I said.
“I didn’t believe it either.” Heechul agreed. “Neither did Yunho and Taeyeon. Not even the driver who lost control of his car.”
“How could…” I started. “Junsu blamed himself.”
“Yes he did.” Heechul said. “Junsu convinced himself that it was his fault that his brother died, that he had pushed him. Nothing we said or did swayed him.”
“Taeyeon was even shouting at Junsu. She was almost hysterical as she tried to shake some sense into Junsu’s ashen face. The authorities had officially reported that Jaejoong’s death was an accident. They ruled out foul play after their investigation, taking into account all eyewitness accounts and the CCTV footage of the accident.”
“Even with their explanation, Junsu remained convinced that he was the cause of Jaejoong’s death.”
“What about Yunho?” I asked.
Heechul looked at me. Somehow, even without hearing his answer, I knew what he would say.
“Yunho was inconsolable.” Heechul answered.
I just stared at Heechul.
“Yunho broke the moment Jaejoong died. But he had to put himself back together… for Junsu’s sake.” Heechul said. “Yunho had to be stronger. He’d had to push his grief to the back of his mind so he can take care of Junsu. Because Junsu was his only link to Jaejoong. Because Junsu was the only other person who shared and understood his grief and loss.”
“Being brothers, Jaejoong and Junsu were close. And Yunho was Jaejoong’s beloved.” Heechul continued. “The three of them shared such a strong bond.”
“Jaejoong and Junsu came to our school in the middle of the school year in 8th grade. Yunho had transferred in about two months later. Jaejoong and Junsu stood out because of their personalities. Jaejoong had a quiet and mysterious air about him, his face was the envy of all the girls and the boys were just awed by his ethereal beauty. Junsu was a ray of sunshine. He was a ball of energy and excelled in sports. When Yunho had transferred in, it had the school buzzing with excitement once again. Yunho was charismatic and a natural leader and he also happens to be good in sports like Junsu.”
“Then Yunho and Jaejoong met. Everyone at school was witness to their instant attraction for each other. The entire school couldn’t stop talking about them. When the two of them finally got together, it was like Junsu had found a long lost brother. Rarely would you see the three of them apart. The three of them were the envy of the entire school.”
“Taeyeon and I are childhood friends. We were there when Jaejoong and Junsu transferred to our school and also when Yunho followed two months after.” Heechul explained. “I met Jaejoong because of music. We both liked rock music. He was an excellent pianist and a great singer. But he only sang with Junsu. I was lucky enough to hear them both sing one time in the school’s music room. Jaejoong had noticed me watching and formally introduced me to his brother.”
“Junsu was playing for the school soccer team when Taeyeon had met him. Taeyeon was a cheerleader and had been cheering for the school as they played against a rival team. Junsu had been trying to steal the ball from his mark when he chanced a move but slid over to where the cheerleaders were. Taeyeon had told me that Junsu had slid right to her feet, shared eye contact before he got up and went back to the game. It was a few weeks after that Junsu had introduced Taeyeon to both Yunho and Jaejoong and called her his girlfriend.”
“As Taeyeon’s childhood friend, I naturally became part of their circle. It was nice, seeing the four of them so happy with each other. I didn’t really mind being the fifth wheel.”
“The loss of Jaejoong had taken a toll on both Junsu and Yunho. It was as if a part of Junsu and Yunho had died with him.”
“They were suddenly gone one day.” Heechul said. “We didn’t know why they had left and where they had gone. That’s why I was shocked to see Junsu’s name with yours as a co-compositor in the music competition. It’s the reason why I searched for you and met you to confirm my hunch.”
“When I told Taeyeon, she immediately wanted to come here. I didn’t object because I wanted to find out for myself. I wanted to find out what had happened to our friends.”
---
JUNSU
“Hey.” I said as I walked up to Yoochun. “Did I take too long?” I asked.
“Mmmm.” Yoochun shook his head. “I talked with Heechul while you were gone.”
“Oh?” I asked. “Did he tell you lots of things about me?” Yoochun chuckled.
“Some.” He answered. “He told me about the accident. He told me how you were before. How both you and Yunho were right after your brother died.”
“We were… it was dark time.” I said.
Yoochun smiled at me. His hands cupped my cheeks.
“You’re a strong person, Junsu.” Yoochun said. “Both you and Yunho are.”
I shook my head at him and placed my hands over his. Taeyeon’s words came back to mind as I looked into Yoochun’s eyes.
“I don’t think he’ll last.” Taeyeon said with a small smirk.
“I can’t believe that he likes you that much. He even convinced you to go after me the moment I stormed out on you guys.”
“I’d never do that. I’d never let anyone take you away from me that easily.”
“No matter what anyone else said or thought of me, I’d never leave you.”
I smiled at Yoochun, relief filling me. Taeyeon was wrong.
“Taeyeon and I, we’re over.” I said. “You know that, right?”
“I know.” Yoochun answered, smiling back. “I understand her, if only a little. She was a person from your past, a person who shared memories of your brother. Even if Taeyeon is the way she is, you couldn’t help yourself. You really liked her, didn’t you?”
“What would you know about that?” I asked curious.
“I know… because even with me, you were worried about Yunho.” Yoochun said. “That time at the cafeteria, when I had agreed to spend time with Yunho. He’s like a brother to you, so it would’ve hurt you as well if you at least didn’t let him try because you know he’d backed off even if he still had feelings for me.”
“You’re something else.” I blurted out. “I tried so hard to hide my anger that day.” I chuckled to myself.
---
one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten
eleven | twelve | thirteen | fourteen | fifteen | sixteen | seventeen | eighteen | nineteen
Pairing: Yoochun/Junsu, Yunho/Jaejoong, Yunho/Changmin
Rating: PG-15 to NC-17 (for some parts)
Genre: fluff, angst, romance
Length: 20/?
Warning(s): violence, some language, mentions of harassment and rape, some bullying
Summary:
You are the light that's leading me to the place
Where I find peace again
You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the life to my soul
You are my purpose
You're everything
A/N: another weekly update :) enjoy!
-20-
YOOCHUN
“Taeyeon’s self-centered and a bit of a spoiled brat, to tell you the truth.” Junsu said. “She’s usually harmless but she’s used to getting her way and everyone just bends over and gives her what she wants.”
I remained silent pondering what Junsu just said. It’s not really hard to come to a conclusion.
“She was your girlfriend.” I said. It was more of a statement than a question.
I knew.
I knew because of the way she just couldn’t keep her eyes off of Junsu and the way she wants to always be close to him. It’s the same as what I feel whenever I’m with Junsu.
“You’re not jealous?” Junsu asked.
“I am.” I answered. “I just understand how she feels. Somewhat.”
“But you’re not self-centered.” Junsu said. “You’re not spoiled either. You’re the complete opposite.”
“You really should go and talk to Taeyeon-sshi.” I repeat. “She still loves you. You and I both see that.”
“No.” Junsu said. “We’ve already talked. I already said what I had to before. I have nothing more to explain to her. She knows this. She’s just being stubborn about it.”
“Taeyeon had worried so much about you, you know.” Heechul said with a sad yet understanding smile. “Especially after…” he trailed off looking away. “And even after you’d gone away. You know how she is. She’d hoped you’d come back after a bit of time. I did too. But you didn’t and I understand why. Taeyeon almost went crazy with worry and wanting to see you.”
Junsu stayed silent. I looked at him and sighed.
“Now who’s the one being stubborn?” I half joked. “Go. Talk to her.” I said taking his hand in mine and squeezing it reassuringly. “Please? Just so she can have peace of mind.” Junsu looked at me for a moment before sighing in defeat.
“Alright.” Junsu conceded. “I’ll talk to her. Wait for me here?” he asked.
“I will.” I said letting him hug me and then he kissed my forehead before leaving.
~
“So… if Jaejoong-sshi hadn’t…” I started but couldn’t get the last words out. “Junsu wouldn’t have had to break up with her?” I asked.
Heechul shook his head before replying.
“That day, we were all together, Jaejoong, Yunho, Junsu, Taeyeon and I.” Heechul said. “We’d gone out together and were on our way home when the accident happened. Taeyeon and I were walking a bit ahead because Junsu and Jaejoong were teasing Yunho and… just… the next thing we knew…” Heechul took a breath. “Jaejoong died in Yunho’s and Junsu’s arms.”
“It was chaos all over.” Heechul continued. “Then the ambulance and police arrived. They took the four of us in, to ask us about the accident. It was then that Junsu said that it was his fault. That he pushed Jaejoong to his death.”
“Pushed Jaejoong?” I gasped. “But… that’s not true! That’s ridiculous.”
“I thought Jaejoong-sshi had pushed Junsu away to save him.” I said.
“I didn’t believe it either.” Heechul agreed. “Neither did Yunho and Taeyeon. Not even the driver who lost control of his car.”
“How could…” I started. “Junsu blamed himself.”
“Yes he did.” Heechul said. “Junsu convinced himself that it was his fault that his brother died, that he had pushed him. Nothing we said or did swayed him.”
“Taeyeon was even shouting at Junsu. She was almost hysterical as she tried to shake some sense into Junsu’s ashen face. The authorities had officially reported that Jaejoong’s death was an accident. They ruled out foul play after their investigation, taking into account all eyewitness accounts and the CCTV footage of the accident.”
“Even with their explanation, Junsu remained convinced that he was the cause of Jaejoong’s death.”
“What about Yunho?” I asked.
Heechul looked at me. Somehow, even without hearing his answer, I knew what he would say.
“Yunho was inconsolable.” Heechul answered.
I just stared at Heechul.
“Yunho broke the moment Jaejoong died. But he had to put himself back together… for Junsu’s sake.” Heechul said. “Yunho had to be stronger. He’d had to push his grief to the back of his mind so he can take care of Junsu. Because Junsu was his only link to Jaejoong. Because Junsu was the only other person who shared and understood his grief and loss.”
“Being brothers, Jaejoong and Junsu were close. And Yunho was Jaejoong’s beloved.” Heechul continued. “The three of them shared such a strong bond.”
“Jaejoong and Junsu came to our school in the middle of the school year in 8th grade. Yunho had transferred in about two months later. Jaejoong and Junsu stood out because of their personalities. Jaejoong had a quiet and mysterious air about him, his face was the envy of all the girls and the boys were just awed by his ethereal beauty. Junsu was a ray of sunshine. He was a ball of energy and excelled in sports. When Yunho had transferred in, it had the school buzzing with excitement once again. Yunho was charismatic and a natural leader and he also happens to be good in sports like Junsu.”
“Then Yunho and Jaejoong met. Everyone at school was witness to their instant attraction for each other. The entire school couldn’t stop talking about them. When the two of them finally got together, it was like Junsu had found a long lost brother. Rarely would you see the three of them apart. The three of them were the envy of the entire school.”
“Taeyeon and I are childhood friends. We were there when Jaejoong and Junsu transferred to our school and also when Yunho followed two months after.” Heechul explained. “I met Jaejoong because of music. We both liked rock music. He was an excellent pianist and a great singer. But he only sang with Junsu. I was lucky enough to hear them both sing one time in the school’s music room. Jaejoong had noticed me watching and formally introduced me to his brother.”
“Junsu was playing for the school soccer team when Taeyeon had met him. Taeyeon was a cheerleader and had been cheering for the school as they played against a rival team. Junsu had been trying to steal the ball from his mark when he chanced a move but slid over to where the cheerleaders were. Taeyeon had told me that Junsu had slid right to her feet, shared eye contact before he got up and went back to the game. It was a few weeks after that Junsu had introduced Taeyeon to both Yunho and Jaejoong and called her his girlfriend.”
“As Taeyeon’s childhood friend, I naturally became part of their circle. It was nice, seeing the four of them so happy with each other. I didn’t really mind being the fifth wheel.”
“The loss of Jaejoong had taken a toll on both Junsu and Yunho. It was as if a part of Junsu and Yunho had died with him.”
“They were suddenly gone one day.” Heechul said. “We didn’t know why they had left and where they had gone. That’s why I was shocked to see Junsu’s name with yours as a co-compositor in the music competition. It’s the reason why I searched for you and met you to confirm my hunch.”
“When I told Taeyeon, she immediately wanted to come here. I didn’t object because I wanted to find out for myself. I wanted to find out what had happened to our friends.”
---
JUNSU
“Hey.” I said as I walked up to Yoochun. “Did I take too long?” I asked.
“Mmmm.” Yoochun shook his head. “I talked with Heechul while you were gone.”
“Oh?” I asked. “Did he tell you lots of things about me?” Yoochun chuckled.
“Some.” He answered. “He told me about the accident. He told me how you were before. How both you and Yunho were right after your brother died.”
“We were… it was dark time.” I said.
Yoochun smiled at me. His hands cupped my cheeks.
“You’re a strong person, Junsu.” Yoochun said. “Both you and Yunho are.”
I shook my head at him and placed my hands over his. Taeyeon’s words came back to mind as I looked into Yoochun’s eyes.
“I don’t think he’ll last.” Taeyeon said with a small smirk.
“I can’t believe that he likes you that much. He even convinced you to go after me the moment I stormed out on you guys.”
“I’d never do that. I’d never let anyone take you away from me that easily.”
“No matter what anyone else said or thought of me, I’d never leave you.”
I smiled at Yoochun, relief filling me. Taeyeon was wrong.
“Taeyeon and I, we’re over.” I said. “You know that, right?”
“I know.” Yoochun answered, smiling back. “I understand her, if only a little. She was a person from your past, a person who shared memories of your brother. Even if Taeyeon is the way she is, you couldn’t help yourself. You really liked her, didn’t you?”
“What would you know about that?” I asked curious.
“I know… because even with me, you were worried about Yunho.” Yoochun said. “That time at the cafeteria, when I had agreed to spend time with Yunho. He’s like a brother to you, so it would’ve hurt you as well if you at least didn’t let him try because you know he’d backed off even if he still had feelings for me.”
“You’re something else.” I blurted out. “I tried so hard to hide my anger that day.” I chuckled to myself.
---
one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten
eleven | twelve | thirteen | fourteen | fifteen | sixteen | seventeen | eighteen | nineteen