[FIC] Hanging By A Moment 5/?
Title: Hanging By A Moment
Pairing: Yoochun/Junsu, Yunho/Jaejoong, Yunho/Changmin
Rating: PG-15 to NC-17 (for some parts)
Genre: fluff, angst, romance
Length: 5/?
Warning(s): violence, some language, mentions of harassment and rape, some bullying
Summary:
You are the light that's leading me to the place
Where I find peace again
You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the life to my soul
You are my purpose
You're everything
-05-
JUNSU
“Professor,” I said voice hard. “Since when have you become a consultant for the music club?” I asked, glaring at him.
Professor Han flushed, hands going to his tie as he loosened it.
“I - I… I was just making rounds around the school.” Professor Han answered voice a bit shaky. He coughed. “What about you, what are you doing here? You don’t even know how to play any instrument!” He accused.
I looked at him, a smile slowly appearing on my face.
“I get it, so I have no right to be here just because I can’t play an instrument?” I answered, glare still in place. “You don’t know that, professor.”
“Don’t be a fool.” Professor Han said glaring back.
“You never know, professor.” I said. “I might just be hiding my talents.”
I found a small box cutter lying on top of a still sealed box. I took it and eyed it with interest, placing my thumb on the knob to slide the blade slowly in and out of its plastic sheath.
“I might be a fool, professor.” I said voice calm, dangerous. “But I don’t pretend to be nice and trustworthy.”
I started to walk forward slowly, my eyes still on the blade as it glinted in the light. I continued to slide it in and out, tilting my head slightly to the side before I locked my gaze with Professor Han.
“I only go after those my own age.” I said with a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. I stopped walking to watch his reaction.
I saw Professor Han’s eyes dart from my face to the blade in my hand.
“What do you think are you doing?” Professor Han asked, voice quivering eyes never leaving the blade.
“What am I going to do?” I repeated his question.
I paused, watching.
“I’m not going to do anything. I was just thinking…” I answered. “Just thinking how sharp this blade is.” I said looking directly into his eyes. My smile widened a bit. “How could I possibly think of cutting up your pretty face with this little thing?”
I started walking forward again, slowly, while still playing with the box cutter.
Click-click-click-click-click.
I took one slow step after another.
Click-click-click-click-click.
And then another.
Click-click-click-click-click.
And another until I was just a few feet away from Professor Han.
Click-click-click-click-click.
“You’re crazy!” Professor Han paled. Then he rushed out of the room.
I looked at the door.
“Tch.” I smirked. “What a coward. So quick to admit defeat.”
I put the box cutter away before turning to Yoochun who was still seated on the piano bench, staring wide-eyed at me.
“You’re really stupid.” I scolded. “You let him feel you up for so long without saying a word? You could’ve at least asked him for money in return.”
Yoochun looks away, shoulders trembling from barely kept in tears. I realized just how terrified he was. Seeing him like that, something inside me tightened painfully.
“If you didn’t like it, then you should’ve said so from the beginning.” I said, voice soft. “Giving in to your cowardice is the stupidest thing you can do. It makes people think that they can take advantage of you.”
Yoochun stayed silent though his shoulders still trembled, hands still clasped tightly in his lap. I looked around the music room, feeling both relieved and surprised that I had allowed myself to be inside it. I looked at Yoochun’s hunched form.
Is it because of him? I wondered.
I look at the piano where Yoochun sat, taking in its smooth dark wood, and the sleek black and pale white of the ivories. I stared at it for a long moment, realizing that my feelings and thoughts haven’t really changed at all. Seeing it right in front of me, its magnificent and impressive aura always takes me back in time. Unconsciously, my hand reached out to touch the varnished wood, lightly skimming over the keys but not pressing hard enough to make a sound.
My eyes focus on the sheet music laid out on the stand, just above the keys. Taking the sheaf of papers in my hands, I automatically read the notes, playing them in my mind.
I looked at Yoochun who still hasn’t moved from his position. He wasn’t trembling anymore and his hands had somehow relaxed.
“Yoochun-sshi?” I spoke softly.
Yoochun’s shoulders tensed at the sound of my voice but after a few seconds he relaxed. I patiently waited for him to look up at me.
“This piece,” I said. “Can you - can you play it for me… please?” I asked.
Yoochun looked surprised at my request but nodded and took the sheet music from my hands and put them on the stand in front of him. He poised himself, lightly resting his fingers on the keys. I watched him carefully as he closed his eyes. With a soft sigh, he slowly opened them and started playing Yiruma’s Kiss the Rain.
I felt myself take a seat beside Yoochun, who continued to play. My back was to the piano. I turned my head and watched, eyes soft, as Yoochun’s fingers moved across the black and white keys. It was smooth, elegant, effortless. His eyes had this gentle look yet it was also full of passion. I could tell that he really loved to play. The piece Yoochun was playing was touching yet sweet. It reminded me of sweet memories, loving smiles and cozy hugs, moments that had made me happy, content.
Yoochun’s face looked so different when he played. He was relaxed yet his eyes shone and there was a tender smile that tugged on his lips. He looked… happy.
Seeing him like that, made me feel at ease.
“Thank you, Junsu-sshi.” Yoochun softly murmured.
I blinked. I hadn’t realized that he had already finished playing. Yoochun had his hands on his lap again, head lowered, eyes on the floor.
“Hey, Su.”
I looked towards the voice. Yunho stood by the door, bag slung over his shoulder. He looked like he’d been watching.
“Let’s go home.” Yunho said with a smile.
I nodded at him standing up from the bench and started walking. I stopped, remembering.
“Oh,” I said, digging through my pocket. “Here,” I faced Yoochun and tossed something at him. “I doubled it as promised.”
Yoochun caught the rolled up bills with both hands, looking at me and at the money and then at me again with a surprised face.
“Take care when you go home.” I said smiling at him before leaving.
~
I made my way out of the convenience store, a plastic bag in each hand. Yunho had pushed me out our apartment’s door the moment we arrived, ordering me to buy food and other things that we were in dire need of. I frowned, remembering the list he thrust in my face but then chuckled to myself. Yunho was just being himself. He always took care of things, being over protective and concerned and… brotherly…
I stopped. I forced myself to take a breath, looking around for a distraction. My eyes found a store window. It looked familiar but I wasn’t sure. My feet took me nearer, until I was standing right in front of it. My eyes looked inside, zeroing in on the varnished wood painted in white, its black and white keys both blending and contrasting, the maker’s signature in bold, gold lettering.
I watched him play, pale hands flying across the keys, slender fingers pressing each ivory with precision. There was a bright smile on his face as he looked at me, his brown eyes mirroring the emotion. He beckoned to me, gesturing with his head for me to come sit beside him as he continued to play. I felt and heard myself laugh softly as I sat beside him, still watching him.
“Sing with me, Su-ah.”
I laughed again, looking at the sheet music where the lyrics of the song he was playing were written.
“You go first, hyung.”
~
Red.
There was just red.
Red and hyung. In my arms. I cradled him, careful, hesitant. Tears stained my face. I lifted my hand from the side of his head. I looked at it, eyes widening. My hand was red. It was covered in red. My hand shook, I looked down at hyung, my mind blank, body trembling.
He groaned, opening his eyes. They were unfocused for a while and then they found mine. He blinked slowly, coughing, groaning and wincing.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Su-ah.” Jaejoong smiled at me, taking a rattling breath before he closed his eyes.
I gasped, snapping out of it. I took a shuddering breath, looking around and realizing that I was in our apartment. I didn’t know how I had gotten back. I closed my eyes, trembling as I fought to regain control. I curled in on myself, letting my tears spill over my eyes, my arms hugging myself.
“It’s difficult for him, for anyone, to just go on like everything is normal after experiencing something as traumatic as that.”
“It will take time. I believe that he will be able to go back but he might not be the same.”
“Because of the accident, he might not be able to do some of the things he usually does. Most likely, his fear and the memory of the accident will take control of him. This renders him emotionally and physically unstable and he closes himself off to everyone to avoid reliving the painful memories.”
“In his case, his heartbeat dramatically increases and his whole body goes into shock. There is a possibility that he might stop breathing, entering a state of ‘false death’.”
~
I looked at hyung from the doorway. He was a year older than me. I was four. He sat on the bench, legs swinging as he tinkered with the piano’s keys.
“Su-ah, come here, play with me.”
I smiled and ran at him, taking a seat beside him. I slam my hand on the black and white, releasing a peal of laughter.
~
I was crying. I felt arms embrace me, rubbing my back. I sniffed. Eomma and Appa were gone. They were never going to come back. They were on their way to a party but got into an accident. I was barely ten.
“It’s okay, Su-ah.” He comforted voice thick with tears. “I’m here.”
“Hyung, appa and eomma are gone.” I mumbled sniffing again. I felt my hyung’s arms tighten around me.
“Su-ah,” He answered, voice breaking. “They’re in a better place now.”
“Hyung, who’s going to take care of us now?” I asked. “I don’t want to be alone.”
“You’re not alone, Su-ah.” He said. “I’ll take care of you and you’ll take care of me.”
“Promise?” I asked.
“I promise, Su-ah.” He said, kissing my forehead. “I’ll never leave you alone.”
When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying on the cold floor of our (mine and Yunho’s) apartment. The groceries I’ve bought lay in a heap by the door. I took a breath, closing my eyes and felt something clutched in my hand.
Yoochun’s mp3 player.
I didn’t think how the mp3 player was suddenly in my hands. I looked at it and then slowly slipped the earphones snuggly into my ears, turning the player on. As soft notes began to play, I pull my hands (closed around the mp3 player) into my chest, letting the music soothe and calm me as I cried myself to an exhausted sleep.
~
I woke up surrounded by warmth. I was in my bed, Yoochun’s mp3 player still clutched in my hand. I sighed, closing my eyes. I stayed like that for a while until I hear a soft knock on my door.
Yunho opens the door with a soft, sad smile, a steaming cup of coffee in his hand. He walked inside and takes a seat on the edge of my bed. I sat up but made no move to get out of bed. He looks at me with understanding, his smile never faltering.
“I miss him so much too, Su.” Yunho said as he planted a soft kiss on top of my head.
He hands me the cup of coffee before standing up.
“Please don’t be late for school, Su-ah.” Yunho reminded before leaving.
---
Interlude: CHANGMIN
I closed the door to our apartment, taking my shoes off. I looked up and see a disfigured lump huddled on the end of the couch. I walked towards it and dump my things on the coffee table as I take a seat beside the lump that was Yoochun.
Yoochun-hyung’s hunched, trembling form made me remember.
I let myself inside their house. Yoochun had given me a spare key since I’m almost always over at his place. I closed the door and slipped out of my shoes, calling out my hyung’s name. I noticed another pair of shoes. Then I remembered Yoochun had told me earlier that he’d be going home ahead of me because a friend was in town and would be joining us for dinner.
“Hyung!” I called out, depositing my things on the armchair. “Hyung!”
The silence that greeted me felt unsettling. It felt wrong. Something was wrong.
THUD.
A strangled scream.
I froze, my skin breaking out in goose bumps as I recognized Yoochun’s voice and where it was coming from. Mentally shaking myself, I rushed to his room, my hand automatically on the doorknob.
Locked.
“What the hell?” I muttered.
A strangled cry.
Gasps and grunts.
Moans.
More screams.
I gasped, tightening my grip on the doorknob, trying to force it open.
“Hyung!” I yelled, fist pounding the door. “HYUNG! HYUNG!”
“Whoever you are, stay out of this.” A muffled voice came through the door. Something in the voice was familiar. “GET OUT!!!”
“Who is that Yoochunnie-ah?” the muffled voice drawled in between gasps. “Did he come to fuck you as well?”
I could hear Yoochun muffled pleading and then he screamed in pain.
“P - PLE - PLEASE!!! S - ST - STOP!!!” Yoochun screamed. “IT H - HU - HURTS!!!”
“NO ONE GETS TO FUCKING TOUCH YOU EXCEPT ME!!!” the voice roared. “YOU’RE MINE!!!”
Yoochun screamed again.
I stared in shock. My hands scramble for my phone as I called for help. My mind was racing.
I have to think of a way to get to Yoochun.
Before it’s too late.
“HYUNG!!!” I yelled. “I’m coming, hyung! Help is on the way.”
I ran from the door, eyes darting everywhere. I had to find a weapon. Something that I can use to put whoever it was that was hurting Yoochun out of action. My eyes landed on a small wooden stool. I picked it up, testing my grip on it and hurried back to Yoochun’s door.
Hoping that the piece of wood in my eyes would be enough, I slammed my shoulder into the door. Repeating the action two more times, I finally forced my way into the room, arms raised and grip on the wood tightening.
I felt myself stop, eyes widening in shock.
No.
I could hear the faint sound of sirens but it barely registered in my mind. The grip I had on the stool loosened.
It can’t be.
Not him.
Why? Why him?
Overcome by anger, I raised my arms again, gripped the wood tighter and swung it with all my might.
~
I sighed. I was exhausted. Anger and disbelief still coursed through my blood, but the worry overshadowed both. I had just given my statement to the police in one of the vacant hospital rooms. I had refused to leave Yoochun alone and had vehemently requested that they ask whatever they wanted here in the hospital while I waited for the doctor for news on Yoochun.
I couldn’t believe that HE would do that.
Another sigh escaped my lips just as I heard the door to Yoochun’s room open. I glance up, my feet carrying me towards the doctor.
“Shim Changmin-sshi?” the doctor asked. I nodded.
“How’s Yoochun?” I asked.
“He’s stable.” The doctor answered. “His body was also abused and tortured. He’s suffered several contusions all over his body. Most of the blows were on his torso, a few on his face. Bruises on his wrists and ankles are most likely from the ties that were used to bind him to the bed but I noticed some scarring and new cuts over them. His anal passage suffered the most, torn and bleeding. His attacker wasn’t gentle at all. I’ve stopped the bleeding but he’s going to be hurting for a while. I’ve given him painkillers for that.”
The doctor paused as he looked at me, gauging my reaction.
“What about trauma?” I asked.
“Yoochun-sshi’s will most likely be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.” The doctor answered. “What he had gone through will greatly affect his emotional and psychological state. Yoochun-sshi’s just had his dignity, if not his humanity, ripped away from him because of that act of monstrosity. It’s a good thing that you were there and had called for help, Changmin-sshi. Otherwise, who knows what else would’ve happened to him.”
“With proper help will Yoochun be able to live normally again?” I asked. “He’s got no other living relatives.”
“It would mean more to have one’s family by your side.” The doctor said solemnly. “But as long as Yoochun-sshi has someone who he can trust explicitly, who will be willing to support and encourage him to have strength, he will be able to take the necessary steps on the path of recovery. The rest will be up to him.”
“Thank you.” I said with a bow. “May I see him?”
“He’s still under.” The doctor said. “But when he does wake up, he might be disoriented. Worst case scenario is Yoochun-sshi might go into shock. Just call for the nurse’s help if it comes to that.” The doctor explained. He looked at me for a moment before smiling. “Changmin-sshi, your friend will be going through the most difficult time of his life. He will need all your help to calm him down and make him realize that he’s safe and that no one will be hurting him anymore.”
“I understand.” I said bowing again. “Thank you.” I added before going inside Yoochun’s room.
~
I watched Yoochun’s unconscious form on the hospital bed. He’d been sleeping for at least three hours since I’ve entered the room. Bandages were wrapped around his head, neck, chest, wrists and ankles. His whole face was swollen, one side badly bruised, lips dry and cracked.
I looked at him, squeezing his hand gently in both my hands.
“I promise,” I vowed. “I’ll help you, hyung. I will never leave you alone.”
“Are you okay, hyung?” I asked putting my arms around him gently. I felt him shaking. “Yoochun-hyung, what’s wrong? What happened?”
Yoochun didn’t reply. He just buried his head in my chest and shook, crying into my shirt. I tightened my arms around him while the other rubbed soothing circles on his back, trying to calm him down.
“I - I - I’m… o - okay, Ch - Cha - Chang - Changmin…” Yoochun stuttered, trying to control his tears.
I frowned, not believing a word.
“Can you tell me what happened?” I murmured. “Did something happen?”
Yoochun nodded, still buried in my chest. I waited for him to answer, continuing to rub his back.
“Pro - Professor Ha - Han…” Yoochun said voice raspy, broken from crying. “I - I… I was in the music room…” he took a breath. “J - Ju - Just like… every afternoon… I - I thought I was alone… b - but he… he was suddenly… there… and then… h - h - he was right behind me.” He shuddered, remembering. “H - he… hi - his hands touched… u - un - under my shirt… and… h - he kissed…” he shuddered again. “Ki - kissed a - and li - licked my n - ne - neck…”
Yoochun broke down again and cried. I was angry, livid. I wanted to wring the life out of that bastard. But I forced some control on myself. As much as wanting to murder that good for nothing, two-faced, sexual harassing professor, Yoochun came first. I tightened both arms around him, whispering comforting words into his ear as he cried.
It was a while before he had finally calmed down. I didn’t know what time it was. I knew we were both hungry but neither of us felt like getting up from our position.
“Kim Junsu…” Yoochun mumbled. “Junsu-sshi… he… he came… just before…”
“Kim Junsu came?” I asked surprised. Yoochun nodded.
“He came… he scared him… threatened to cut up his face with a box cutter…” Yoochun mumbled in answer.
My eyebrows rose.
Kim Junsu?
Had come and saved Yoochun from being sexually harassed?
And then threatened the professor with a box cutter?
I narrowed my eyes, frowning. Those actions alone were very unlike him. I’ve never even seen him set foot inside the music room. I looked at Yoochun in my arms. He had his eyes closed, breathing evening out a bit, fists still clutching the front of my shirt, tears clinging to his eyelashes.
I sighed and gently wiped his tears away. I hugged Yoochun tighter against me, resting my cheek against the top of his head.
I watched him until his breathing slowly evened out. I had a lot of questions that needed Yoochun’s answers. But those could wait.
Yoochun had cried himself to sleep.
Again.
Carefully, I lifted Yoochun in my arms and made my way to his room.
As gently as I could, I placed Yoochun on the bed, lifting the covers so that I could slide ourselves in. I spooned him against me, watching as he snuggled closer, hands still fisted in my shirt. Finding a comfortable position but taking care so as not to jostle too much, I lay back and watched Yoochun sleep, my fingers gently stroking his hair.
Before I let myself fall asleep, I wondered what could have happened if Kim Junsu hadn’t come in time to stop Han professor from what he was about to do.
Why did you help Yoochun, Kim Junsu?
What do you intend to do?
---
one | two | three | four
Pairing: Yoochun/Junsu, Yunho/Jaejoong, Yunho/Changmin
Rating: PG-15 to NC-17 (for some parts)
Genre: fluff, angst, romance
Length: 5/?
Warning(s): violence, some language, mentions of harassment and rape, some bullying
Summary:
You are the light that's leading me to the place
Where I find peace again
You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the life to my soul
You are my purpose
You're everything
-05-
JUNSU
“Professor,” I said voice hard. “Since when have you become a consultant for the music club?” I asked, glaring at him.
Professor Han flushed, hands going to his tie as he loosened it.
“I - I… I was just making rounds around the school.” Professor Han answered voice a bit shaky. He coughed. “What about you, what are you doing here? You don’t even know how to play any instrument!” He accused.
I looked at him, a smile slowly appearing on my face.
“I get it, so I have no right to be here just because I can’t play an instrument?” I answered, glare still in place. “You don’t know that, professor.”
“Don’t be a fool.” Professor Han said glaring back.
“You never know, professor.” I said. “I might just be hiding my talents.”
I found a small box cutter lying on top of a still sealed box. I took it and eyed it with interest, placing my thumb on the knob to slide the blade slowly in and out of its plastic sheath.
“I might be a fool, professor.” I said voice calm, dangerous. “But I don’t pretend to be nice and trustworthy.”
I started to walk forward slowly, my eyes still on the blade as it glinted in the light. I continued to slide it in and out, tilting my head slightly to the side before I locked my gaze with Professor Han.
“I only go after those my own age.” I said with a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. I stopped walking to watch his reaction.
I saw Professor Han’s eyes dart from my face to the blade in my hand.
“What do you think are you doing?” Professor Han asked, voice quivering eyes never leaving the blade.
“What am I going to do?” I repeated his question.
I paused, watching.
“I’m not going to do anything. I was just thinking…” I answered. “Just thinking how sharp this blade is.” I said looking directly into his eyes. My smile widened a bit. “How could I possibly think of cutting up your pretty face with this little thing?”
I started walking forward again, slowly, while still playing with the box cutter.
Click-click-click-click-click.
I took one slow step after another.
Click-click-click-click-click.
And then another.
Click-click-click-click-click.
And another until I was just a few feet away from Professor Han.
Click-click-click-click-click.
“You’re crazy!” Professor Han paled. Then he rushed out of the room.
I looked at the door.
“Tch.” I smirked. “What a coward. So quick to admit defeat.”
I put the box cutter away before turning to Yoochun who was still seated on the piano bench, staring wide-eyed at me.
“You’re really stupid.” I scolded. “You let him feel you up for so long without saying a word? You could’ve at least asked him for money in return.”
Yoochun looks away, shoulders trembling from barely kept in tears. I realized just how terrified he was. Seeing him like that, something inside me tightened painfully.
“If you didn’t like it, then you should’ve said so from the beginning.” I said, voice soft. “Giving in to your cowardice is the stupidest thing you can do. It makes people think that they can take advantage of you.”
Yoochun stayed silent though his shoulders still trembled, hands still clasped tightly in his lap. I looked around the music room, feeling both relieved and surprised that I had allowed myself to be inside it. I looked at Yoochun’s hunched form.
Is it because of him? I wondered.
I look at the piano where Yoochun sat, taking in its smooth dark wood, and the sleek black and pale white of the ivories. I stared at it for a long moment, realizing that my feelings and thoughts haven’t really changed at all. Seeing it right in front of me, its magnificent and impressive aura always takes me back in time. Unconsciously, my hand reached out to touch the varnished wood, lightly skimming over the keys but not pressing hard enough to make a sound.
My eyes focus on the sheet music laid out on the stand, just above the keys. Taking the sheaf of papers in my hands, I automatically read the notes, playing them in my mind.
I looked at Yoochun who still hasn’t moved from his position. He wasn’t trembling anymore and his hands had somehow relaxed.
“Yoochun-sshi?” I spoke softly.
Yoochun’s shoulders tensed at the sound of my voice but after a few seconds he relaxed. I patiently waited for him to look up at me.
“This piece,” I said. “Can you - can you play it for me… please?” I asked.
Yoochun looked surprised at my request but nodded and took the sheet music from my hands and put them on the stand in front of him. He poised himself, lightly resting his fingers on the keys. I watched him carefully as he closed his eyes. With a soft sigh, he slowly opened them and started playing Yiruma’s Kiss the Rain.
I felt myself take a seat beside Yoochun, who continued to play. My back was to the piano. I turned my head and watched, eyes soft, as Yoochun’s fingers moved across the black and white keys. It was smooth, elegant, effortless. His eyes had this gentle look yet it was also full of passion. I could tell that he really loved to play. The piece Yoochun was playing was touching yet sweet. It reminded me of sweet memories, loving smiles and cozy hugs, moments that had made me happy, content.
Yoochun’s face looked so different when he played. He was relaxed yet his eyes shone and there was a tender smile that tugged on his lips. He looked… happy.
Seeing him like that, made me feel at ease.
“Thank you, Junsu-sshi.” Yoochun softly murmured.
I blinked. I hadn’t realized that he had already finished playing. Yoochun had his hands on his lap again, head lowered, eyes on the floor.
“Hey, Su.”
I looked towards the voice. Yunho stood by the door, bag slung over his shoulder. He looked like he’d been watching.
“Let’s go home.” Yunho said with a smile.
I nodded at him standing up from the bench and started walking. I stopped, remembering.
“Oh,” I said, digging through my pocket. “Here,” I faced Yoochun and tossed something at him. “I doubled it as promised.”
Yoochun caught the rolled up bills with both hands, looking at me and at the money and then at me again with a surprised face.
“Take care when you go home.” I said smiling at him before leaving.
~
I made my way out of the convenience store, a plastic bag in each hand. Yunho had pushed me out our apartment’s door the moment we arrived, ordering me to buy food and other things that we were in dire need of. I frowned, remembering the list he thrust in my face but then chuckled to myself. Yunho was just being himself. He always took care of things, being over protective and concerned and… brotherly…
I stopped. I forced myself to take a breath, looking around for a distraction. My eyes found a store window. It looked familiar but I wasn’t sure. My feet took me nearer, until I was standing right in front of it. My eyes looked inside, zeroing in on the varnished wood painted in white, its black and white keys both blending and contrasting, the maker’s signature in bold, gold lettering.
I watched him play, pale hands flying across the keys, slender fingers pressing each ivory with precision. There was a bright smile on his face as he looked at me, his brown eyes mirroring the emotion. He beckoned to me, gesturing with his head for me to come sit beside him as he continued to play. I felt and heard myself laugh softly as I sat beside him, still watching him.
“Sing with me, Su-ah.”
I laughed again, looking at the sheet music where the lyrics of the song he was playing were written.
“You go first, hyung.”
~
Red.
There was just red.
Red and hyung. In my arms. I cradled him, careful, hesitant. Tears stained my face. I lifted my hand from the side of his head. I looked at it, eyes widening. My hand was red. It was covered in red. My hand shook, I looked down at hyung, my mind blank, body trembling.
He groaned, opening his eyes. They were unfocused for a while and then they found mine. He blinked slowly, coughing, groaning and wincing.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Su-ah.” Jaejoong smiled at me, taking a rattling breath before he closed his eyes.
I gasped, snapping out of it. I took a shuddering breath, looking around and realizing that I was in our apartment. I didn’t know how I had gotten back. I closed my eyes, trembling as I fought to regain control. I curled in on myself, letting my tears spill over my eyes, my arms hugging myself.
“It’s difficult for him, for anyone, to just go on like everything is normal after experiencing something as traumatic as that.”
“It will take time. I believe that he will be able to go back but he might not be the same.”
“Because of the accident, he might not be able to do some of the things he usually does. Most likely, his fear and the memory of the accident will take control of him. This renders him emotionally and physically unstable and he closes himself off to everyone to avoid reliving the painful memories.”
“In his case, his heartbeat dramatically increases and his whole body goes into shock. There is a possibility that he might stop breathing, entering a state of ‘false death’.”
~
I looked at hyung from the doorway. He was a year older than me. I was four. He sat on the bench, legs swinging as he tinkered with the piano’s keys.
“Su-ah, come here, play with me.”
I smiled and ran at him, taking a seat beside him. I slam my hand on the black and white, releasing a peal of laughter.
~
I was crying. I felt arms embrace me, rubbing my back. I sniffed. Eomma and Appa were gone. They were never going to come back. They were on their way to a party but got into an accident. I was barely ten.
“It’s okay, Su-ah.” He comforted voice thick with tears. “I’m here.”
“Hyung, appa and eomma are gone.” I mumbled sniffing again. I felt my hyung’s arms tighten around me.
“Su-ah,” He answered, voice breaking. “They’re in a better place now.”
“Hyung, who’s going to take care of us now?” I asked. “I don’t want to be alone.”
“You’re not alone, Su-ah.” He said. “I’ll take care of you and you’ll take care of me.”
“Promise?” I asked.
“I promise, Su-ah.” He said, kissing my forehead. “I’ll never leave you alone.”
When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying on the cold floor of our (mine and Yunho’s) apartment. The groceries I’ve bought lay in a heap by the door. I took a breath, closing my eyes and felt something clutched in my hand.
Yoochun’s mp3 player.
I didn’t think how the mp3 player was suddenly in my hands. I looked at it and then slowly slipped the earphones snuggly into my ears, turning the player on. As soft notes began to play, I pull my hands (closed around the mp3 player) into my chest, letting the music soothe and calm me as I cried myself to an exhausted sleep.
~
I woke up surrounded by warmth. I was in my bed, Yoochun’s mp3 player still clutched in my hand. I sighed, closing my eyes. I stayed like that for a while until I hear a soft knock on my door.
Yunho opens the door with a soft, sad smile, a steaming cup of coffee in his hand. He walked inside and takes a seat on the edge of my bed. I sat up but made no move to get out of bed. He looks at me with understanding, his smile never faltering.
“I miss him so much too, Su.” Yunho said as he planted a soft kiss on top of my head.
He hands me the cup of coffee before standing up.
“Please don’t be late for school, Su-ah.” Yunho reminded before leaving.
---
Interlude: CHANGMIN
I closed the door to our apartment, taking my shoes off. I looked up and see a disfigured lump huddled on the end of the couch. I walked towards it and dump my things on the coffee table as I take a seat beside the lump that was Yoochun.
Yoochun-hyung’s hunched, trembling form made me remember.
I let myself inside their house. Yoochun had given me a spare key since I’m almost always over at his place. I closed the door and slipped out of my shoes, calling out my hyung’s name. I noticed another pair of shoes. Then I remembered Yoochun had told me earlier that he’d be going home ahead of me because a friend was in town and would be joining us for dinner.
“Hyung!” I called out, depositing my things on the armchair. “Hyung!”
The silence that greeted me felt unsettling. It felt wrong. Something was wrong.
THUD.
A strangled scream.
I froze, my skin breaking out in goose bumps as I recognized Yoochun’s voice and where it was coming from. Mentally shaking myself, I rushed to his room, my hand automatically on the doorknob.
Locked.
“What the hell?” I muttered.
A strangled cry.
Gasps and grunts.
Moans.
More screams.
I gasped, tightening my grip on the doorknob, trying to force it open.
“Hyung!” I yelled, fist pounding the door. “HYUNG! HYUNG!”
“Whoever you are, stay out of this.” A muffled voice came through the door. Something in the voice was familiar. “GET OUT!!!”
“Who is that Yoochunnie-ah?” the muffled voice drawled in between gasps. “Did he come to fuck you as well?”
I could hear Yoochun muffled pleading and then he screamed in pain.
“P - PLE - PLEASE!!! S - ST - STOP!!!” Yoochun screamed. “IT H - HU - HURTS!!!”
“NO ONE GETS TO FUCKING TOUCH YOU EXCEPT ME!!!” the voice roared. “YOU’RE MINE!!!”
Yoochun screamed again.
I stared in shock. My hands scramble for my phone as I called for help. My mind was racing.
I have to think of a way to get to Yoochun.
Before it’s too late.
“HYUNG!!!” I yelled. “I’m coming, hyung! Help is on the way.”
I ran from the door, eyes darting everywhere. I had to find a weapon. Something that I can use to put whoever it was that was hurting Yoochun out of action. My eyes landed on a small wooden stool. I picked it up, testing my grip on it and hurried back to Yoochun’s door.
Hoping that the piece of wood in my eyes would be enough, I slammed my shoulder into the door. Repeating the action two more times, I finally forced my way into the room, arms raised and grip on the wood tightening.
I felt myself stop, eyes widening in shock.
No.
I could hear the faint sound of sirens but it barely registered in my mind. The grip I had on the stool loosened.
It can’t be.
Not him.
Why? Why him?
Overcome by anger, I raised my arms again, gripped the wood tighter and swung it with all my might.
~
I sighed. I was exhausted. Anger and disbelief still coursed through my blood, but the worry overshadowed both. I had just given my statement to the police in one of the vacant hospital rooms. I had refused to leave Yoochun alone and had vehemently requested that they ask whatever they wanted here in the hospital while I waited for the doctor for news on Yoochun.
I couldn’t believe that HE would do that.
Another sigh escaped my lips just as I heard the door to Yoochun’s room open. I glance up, my feet carrying me towards the doctor.
“Shim Changmin-sshi?” the doctor asked. I nodded.
“How’s Yoochun?” I asked.
“He’s stable.” The doctor answered. “His body was also abused and tortured. He’s suffered several contusions all over his body. Most of the blows were on his torso, a few on his face. Bruises on his wrists and ankles are most likely from the ties that were used to bind him to the bed but I noticed some scarring and new cuts over them. His anal passage suffered the most, torn and bleeding. His attacker wasn’t gentle at all. I’ve stopped the bleeding but he’s going to be hurting for a while. I’ve given him painkillers for that.”
The doctor paused as he looked at me, gauging my reaction.
“What about trauma?” I asked.
“Yoochun-sshi’s will most likely be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.” The doctor answered. “What he had gone through will greatly affect his emotional and psychological state. Yoochun-sshi’s just had his dignity, if not his humanity, ripped away from him because of that act of monstrosity. It’s a good thing that you were there and had called for help, Changmin-sshi. Otherwise, who knows what else would’ve happened to him.”
“With proper help will Yoochun be able to live normally again?” I asked. “He’s got no other living relatives.”
“It would mean more to have one’s family by your side.” The doctor said solemnly. “But as long as Yoochun-sshi has someone who he can trust explicitly, who will be willing to support and encourage him to have strength, he will be able to take the necessary steps on the path of recovery. The rest will be up to him.”
“Thank you.” I said with a bow. “May I see him?”
“He’s still under.” The doctor said. “But when he does wake up, he might be disoriented. Worst case scenario is Yoochun-sshi might go into shock. Just call for the nurse’s help if it comes to that.” The doctor explained. He looked at me for a moment before smiling. “Changmin-sshi, your friend will be going through the most difficult time of his life. He will need all your help to calm him down and make him realize that he’s safe and that no one will be hurting him anymore.”
“I understand.” I said bowing again. “Thank you.” I added before going inside Yoochun’s room.
~
I watched Yoochun’s unconscious form on the hospital bed. He’d been sleeping for at least three hours since I’ve entered the room. Bandages were wrapped around his head, neck, chest, wrists and ankles. His whole face was swollen, one side badly bruised, lips dry and cracked.
I looked at him, squeezing his hand gently in both my hands.
“I promise,” I vowed. “I’ll help you, hyung. I will never leave you alone.”
“Are you okay, hyung?” I asked putting my arms around him gently. I felt him shaking. “Yoochun-hyung, what’s wrong? What happened?”
Yoochun didn’t reply. He just buried his head in my chest and shook, crying into my shirt. I tightened my arms around him while the other rubbed soothing circles on his back, trying to calm him down.
“I - I - I’m… o - okay, Ch - Cha - Chang - Changmin…” Yoochun stuttered, trying to control his tears.
I frowned, not believing a word.
“Can you tell me what happened?” I murmured. “Did something happen?”
Yoochun nodded, still buried in my chest. I waited for him to answer, continuing to rub his back.
“Pro - Professor Ha - Han…” Yoochun said voice raspy, broken from crying. “I - I… I was in the music room…” he took a breath. “J - Ju - Just like… every afternoon… I - I thought I was alone… b - but he… he was suddenly… there… and then… h - h - he was right behind me.” He shuddered, remembering. “H - he… hi - his hands touched… u - un - under my shirt… and… h - he kissed…” he shuddered again. “Ki - kissed a - and li - licked my n - ne - neck…”
Yoochun broke down again and cried. I was angry, livid. I wanted to wring the life out of that bastard. But I forced some control on myself. As much as wanting to murder that good for nothing, two-faced, sexual harassing professor, Yoochun came first. I tightened both arms around him, whispering comforting words into his ear as he cried.
It was a while before he had finally calmed down. I didn’t know what time it was. I knew we were both hungry but neither of us felt like getting up from our position.
“Kim Junsu…” Yoochun mumbled. “Junsu-sshi… he… he came… just before…”
“Kim Junsu came?” I asked surprised. Yoochun nodded.
“He came… he scared him… threatened to cut up his face with a box cutter…” Yoochun mumbled in answer.
My eyebrows rose.
Kim Junsu?
Had come and saved Yoochun from being sexually harassed?
And then threatened the professor with a box cutter?
I narrowed my eyes, frowning. Those actions alone were very unlike him. I’ve never even seen him set foot inside the music room. I looked at Yoochun in my arms. He had his eyes closed, breathing evening out a bit, fists still clutching the front of my shirt, tears clinging to his eyelashes.
I sighed and gently wiped his tears away. I hugged Yoochun tighter against me, resting my cheek against the top of his head.
I watched him until his breathing slowly evened out. I had a lot of questions that needed Yoochun’s answers. But those could wait.
Yoochun had cried himself to sleep.
Again.
Carefully, I lifted Yoochun in my arms and made my way to his room.
As gently as I could, I placed Yoochun on the bed, lifting the covers so that I could slide ourselves in. I spooned him against me, watching as he snuggled closer, hands still fisted in my shirt. Finding a comfortable position but taking care so as not to jostle too much, I lay back and watched Yoochun sleep, my fingers gently stroking his hair.
Before I let myself fall asleep, I wondered what could have happened if Kim Junsu hadn’t come in time to stop Han professor from what he was about to do.
Why did you help Yoochun, Kim Junsu?
What do you intend to do?
---
one | two | three | four