With 2012 ended and 2013 starting It's time for my yearly log. Really this is for my self but just putting it out there if anyone cares ( Read more... )

Best dog ever. I am so sorry I didnt get to see you again before you had to go on over the rainbow bridge. See ya on the other side fluff <3

Sadly things end. Not all the time, sometimes happily ever after happens. But with me, well I dont get to have that. For the past two years of my life I have lied to myself, my parents and Chris. Every time I said I love you, I never meant it. Yes...I loved him, but I wasnt in love with him anymore. I still care about him as a person. But I just ( Read more... )

I'm not good enough.

Also...not pregnant.

I think I'm pregnant. I have taken 2 tests that both came back negative, but...idk I've never been this late. I'm back on my birth control and we honest to god use condoms every time. He says they never broke. This cannot be happening. I'm numb, scared...to scared to move, to breath. I froze. I blacked out and just couldn't deal. I let my mind ( Read more... )

I am every mistake I've ever made. I am every person I've ever hurt. I am every words I've ever said. I'm made of flaws ( Read more... )

So today I went out to lunch with Chris. We talked about everything I have been obsessing over. I feel so much better getting it all out. Yes, I miss him...but I miss the old time, times that are long since dead. I miss the guy he used to be and can never be again. Its hard seeing and talking to someone for 6 full years then to drop to not even ( Read more... )

I need to log this. My memory is getting worse and well I see all the lies I have told myself in the past reading though older journals on here. It's amazing really ( Read more... )

Well it's supposed to be my 5 year anniversary today. Aswell as Chris's mom's Bday. Only one of those things is happening. Today, Chris told me he cheated on me Friday night. So here I am, lost, hurt and mad as hell. I'm leaving. I shall be packing my things and heading back home. Not what I want, but it will do for now. Life...needs to fuck off. I ( Read more... )

Okay well a lot has happened since i have last posted, and i need to vent or i might explode. I don't care if no one reads this but I have to get it out ( Read more... )