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(Untitled)
“People pontificate, "Suicide is selfishness." Career churchmen like Pater go a step further and call in a cowardly assault on the living. Oafs argue this specious line for varying reason: to evade fingers of blame, to impress one's audience with one's mental fiber, to vent anger, or just because one lacks the necessary suffering to sympathize. ( Read more... ) -
“Chronic anxiety is a state more undesirable than any other"
"and we will try almost any maneuver to eliminate it. Modern man is living in anxious anticipation of destruction. Such anxiety can be easily eliminated by self-destruction. As a German saying puts it: 'Better an end with terror than a terror without end ( Read more... ) -
“Almost nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane.”- Friedrich Nietzsche
First time back in the studio after forever a day and I take a double class like a lunatic. I'm sore in the best kind of way, it's been a long time since I worked that hard physically.. I bet I'm going to regret it tomorrow though, so much floorwork my knees are bruised to shit ( Read more... ) -
"Every sickness has an alien quality"
"A feeling of invasion and loss of control that is evident in the language we use about it ( Read more... ) -
"I often lamented that we cannot close our ears with as much ease as we can our eyes." R Steele
The neighbours are fighting again. All night they've been up and down the stairs and out in the street right by my bedroom window. I don't know how anyone in the building got any sleep at all tonight ( Read more... ) -
"In its early stages, insomnia is almost an oasis
in which those who have to think or suffer darkly take refuge." - Sidonie Gabrielle Colette ( Read more... ) -
"Loneliness is and always has been the central and inevitable experience of every man. -Thomas Wolfe
Feeling low today. Suffering with the lingering headache that I just can't seem to shake. When was my last dosage increase? It must be time I was starting to level out by now ( Read more... ) -
"Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness" - Yousuf Karsh
Had an anxiety attack in Lidl today. I'm lucky I'd been out with my Mum as the black spots in my vision got bad enough that I thought I was going to faint right there in the middle of the shop. That said, if it wasn't for Mum then I wouldn't have been there in the first place. I feel like it's not safe for me to be out in public any more without ( Read more... ) -
"I desire the things which will destroy me in the end" - Sylvia Plath
I regret the decision to change my dosage. The pain and anxiety that goes with it while my body adjusts is absolutely not worth it. I feel like my teeth are about to all crack at any second from clenching so much and my resting heart rate was at 130BPM this morning when I woke up. I wonder if things will ever get any better or if this is it ( Read more... ) -
“You have been in every way all that anyone could be…
If anybody could have saved me it would have been you.” - Virginia Woolf ( Read more... )