“Chronic anxiety is a state more undesirable than any other"
"and we will try almost any maneuver to eliminate it. Modern man is living in anxious anticipation of destruction. Such anxiety can be easily eliminated by self-destruction. As a German saying puts it: 'Better an end with terror than a terror without end.”
― Robert E. Neale, The Art of Dying
Today is difficult. My body aches, my mind is tired but I can't seem to get a break from the restlessnes, no matter what I try. I know medication will help but I'm so concerned aboout becoming reliant on the sedatives that it makes me reluctant to take them even when I need them to make my brain FUCKING SHUT UP. Plus the feeling of not being able to get through the brain fog the next day only works ok if I can spend it in bed staring at the ceiling. If I acually have to get up and do something then I'm completely screwed and Gods know I shouldn't be behind the wheel of a car.
I can hear the neighbours arguing again, it's nearly 5am on a Sunday morning and S is crying her eyes out being super dramatic. I really, really don't want to have to move but if I think you're loud with my dodgy hearing then you are being seriously damn loud. Ther is solid concrete between my ceiling and your floor, what the hell are you people doing up there?
― Robert E. Neale, The Art of Dying
Today is difficult. My body aches, my mind is tired but I can't seem to get a break from the restlessnes, no matter what I try. I know medication will help but I'm so concerned aboout becoming reliant on the sedatives that it makes me reluctant to take them even when I need them to make my brain FUCKING SHUT UP. Plus the feeling of not being able to get through the brain fog the next day only works ok if I can spend it in bed staring at the ceiling. If I acually have to get up and do something then I'm completely screwed and Gods know I shouldn't be behind the wheel of a car.
I can hear the neighbours arguing again, it's nearly 5am on a Sunday morning and S is crying her eyes out being super dramatic. I really, really don't want to have to move but if I think you're loud with my dodgy hearing then you are being seriously damn loud. Ther is solid concrete between my ceiling and your floor, what the hell are you people doing up there?