Where to start. ...  I feel like today was extremely somber.  I can't help but think that life is entirely too short. Another angel was placed in heaven today.  She will be greatly missed and I wish I could take all of his pain away from missing a very special person he loved so dearly. I hate feeling like there's nothing I can do or say to make ( Read more... )

I feel like I have learned so much about myself in the past two months.  It's incredible what can happen in a matter of minutes,  days, and months.  Life is entirely to short.... for anything that may be negative.  We take for granted so much,  every single day. ... and we don't stop and take it all in. A promise I'm making to myself is to stop and ( Read more... )

Today was my important appointment at the Dr's. I was feeling so many feelings.  But luckily. ..baby is OK and looking good.  It was really hard seeing him today.  So many mixed feelings.  I had to keep myself from crying several times.  I don't know why this has to be so hard.  We are both so stubborn.  I do know how i feel deep down though.  It ( Read more... )

My thoughts are still a whirlwind like a twister engulfing my mind... I try to be strong, but everytime I am it only hurts me. I try to not think of you, though it seems, you are always on my mind. Even my dreams you have been haunting. I am not sure why I am still holding on when it feels like all hope is lost. Something inside of me still wants ( Read more... )

Well, my days have been filled with up and downs. I am so nervous for my next ultrasound..my ob wants me.off work for two weeks to take it easy incase of miscarriage..its weighing really heavy on me and I shouldnt have to go through this alone. He shouldn't let me go thru this alone, but obviously hes found better things. I should have read the ( Read more... )

Today has been rather uneventful. In which, is fine with me. I have either slept or laid in bed. I honestly think I needed a day like this to grasp ahold of my thoughts and make a plan of action. I feel like if things were meant to be then they will be. Its just going to take time and lots of time to rebuild the trust. I am in this for the long ( Read more... )

Well,  I am attempting to grow for myself. It has not been easy.  My thought process has changed some. I feel more clarity for my emotions and my own thoughts.  I guess I'm just finding myself again, which is very important. I can honestly say that i feel like I've been blind to a lot until now. I can say that I very much dislike a lot of people ( Read more... )

Well,  today is my first appointment,  I am filled with anxiety.  Not only because I'm nervous with everything that's going on, but because the person i want most to be there won't be there.  I feel guilty for not communicating with him but its for the best right now,. I don't want to say anything else I may regret. This has probably been the ( Read more... )

Well,  I can honestly say today has been somewhat better than it has been.  Still in this funky mood and trying to stay strong and positive. It just really sucks when you love someone so much and they just push you away and have been not so nice. I have felt like im in a confined room with just myself for a week and it has given me a lot of time to ( Read more... )

I am so exhausted.  Not only from lack of sleep but emotionally drained.  I am lost once again.  I don't know how to feel.  I am getting to the point of being numb.  I just don't understand how someone who says they love you and have been there for 3 years for you just turn their back when things get tough and tell me they don't love me anymore.  ( Read more... )