(x posted ( Read more... )

Tonight I will get my 12th weekly shot of testosterone. I am happy about this and about how everything is going ( Read more... )

It's been too long in between posts! Seriously, how am I going to keep up with posting ( Read more... )

I haven't updated in a loooooooong time. Ten months or so. So much has happened since then ( Read more... )

Holy Shit, it has been a big week trans-wise ( Read more... )

Because of things that have happened to and around me in the last two weeks, I no longer consider myself female at all on the inside. I've let her down, and now I've let her go. I am not out to anybody, except myself, my gf, my therapist, and two other ftm's that I know. I do not know how long it will take me to transition. I'd like to have a ( Read more... )

I'm pissed. Like, if you could hear inside my head right now, I'm yelling. I'm frustrated and it's making me pissed and anxious which is making more frustrated, and around we go. My therapist and I talked about me trying to pay more attention to my body and what it feels like and what it is telling me. She said to take a "body scan" throughout ( Read more... )

I woke up this morning, and I feel more like a guy. Usually I just feel not female. But, today it is something else. I don't know how else to explain it. i just feel a little bit different than I felt yesterday or all the days before that. Totally weird. I got dressed and looked in the mirror and to me, I look a little bit different. I don't ( Read more... )

I had to call the dr. back myself about the tests they ran last week, Friday. More vag. cultures and stuff, that kinda sucked, but I survived. Anyway, the nurse said they all came out clear. So, now what? I ask. I don't know, she says. That was Tuesday. Last night, after I left work, the nurse called me and said that my NP wants to see me ( Read more... )

For over a week now, I've had this pain in my lower abdomen. I think that the ovaries in my body are pissed or something. After a trans-vaginal ultrasound and multiple examinations, this pain thus far has no cause. I think it's psychosomatic. So does my gf. But, if I'm essentially making it up, then how come I can't un-make it up? I don't ( Read more... )