So what's next?

How weird is it that to keep the girl I have to follow my aspirations. It just seems so weird that if I settle and go the easy route I will lose her. Shit, it's scary as hell going this way. I think it would be easier with support, but I don't have all that much ( Read more... )

It's funny how you never know life is happening to you. In fact, I used to think I was happening to life, when it is clearly much the opposite. I was wandering around doing odds and ends around my apartment when it hit me; I am nothing like myself from even a few years ago ( Read more... )

I went back and read my posts from a year ago. I can still feel how low I was. That was almost completely rock bottom. It's still scary. But I am almost attracted to it, like I want to feel it a second more. It makes no sense to me. Maybe it was that feeling of being free. Of wanting sometime. Hell if I know. All I know is that I ( Read more... )

Between being so different, having to try to mediate my moods (which means keeping them to myself for the first 23 years of my life), and all of the bullshit with girls, I really keep things to myself. Now that I am more balanced, I really see how I hold the cards close to the chest. It takes me a while to open up completely, and I am still so ( Read more... )

It's been a hell of a 24 hours. Foundout Raquel went and fucked around with her ex and kept it from me while I bought her dinner, slept with her, and stayed the night. Cool. Then I go to Janelle's wedding (awkward enough) where Melissa says that the only thing all of Janelle's boyfriends had in common is that they're scumbags. Cool ( Read more... )

I've been waiting for months, waiting for years, waiting for you to change ( Read more... )

you never really appreciate the slow times in life until the shit hits the fan. i just cant imagine tha this happens to everyone regularly like this. i dont see it. i have to find a new place to live and may be losing my job soon. and i hate my job, im pretty sure. maybe i just worry too much. well, i am sure i do that. but is that all it is ( Read more... )

also i hope im not getting myself into a ton of trouble. but i probably am.

i always have dreams about having loose teeth. I don't remember more, which is probably good because i dont think my dreams were fun.

and here i am looking through her pictures agian. i need to stop missing my medicine. i am going to get that damn pill of the day thing today. fuck.