Pretty sure Kristin hates me. She definitely has the wrong idea about me, and I have my ideas about why. it is what it is, i guess. i think she wants to do a joined birthday, and i am not sure if i want to. i dont want to split my friends. well. it won't. they'll just hang out with her. and cameron and brandon will be gone. maybe i'll do ( Read more... )

People are too damn complicated, and groups of them are a social headache. One on their own is good. The problem's probably that I'm battling with preserving myself again. And it's probably better I not know where I stand. Makes it easy to just do whatever I am. Maybe I can make the transition from chameleon to me. But when you're standing in ( Read more... )

just another girl loading up on antidepressants to avoid fixing the real problem in her life. it's the psychological equivalent of vicodin instead of physical therapy.

i am so disappointed in her, but that's wrong. she never changed. i should be disappointed in me for not seeing it. for letting myself fall in love with someone like that. fuck

everyone thinks i'm house, but really i'm wilson ( Read more... )

you know when i went on this medicine, i knew there would be changes. and i was ready to let everything go and change everything to make it better. i guess i never thought in a million years it would change things with meg and i, and that is the only thing i really cared about keeping the same. it's making things so much harder ( Read more... )

it's sad to realize that it's gone because I've changed. i know now it's obvious i am different.

also, i like the heavy dosage of not caring. i feel numb compared to before. as weird as it sounds, i love it. i was so overstimulated. i feel so much more normal and in control.

That was definitely not the vacation I needed. The one I needed was to the dunes. A nice long night drive, singing as loud as I can, riding quads for the first time in years until i'm too sore to move. It was nice to meet girls my age with lives and jobs. I should have told them we should hang out in town, I'm just not sure there was a good ( Read more... )

i woke up this morning and everything in my life is foreign to me now. everything is so different. maybe it's being an adult. maybe its being the person i want to. maybe it's that i can finally be an adult and direct my life how i wanted to ( Read more... )

I feel better than I ever have. Normally I need something in my life to pick me up and make me do the things I want to. I could never do it on my own. Now I feel like I am finally being the person I want to be and doing the things I always wanted to. Everything is getting so even ( Read more... )