Really.

If the horrible little deities of this thrice-cursed place are so jealous of my wardrobe that they feel the need to stoop to the low of pathetic fallacy in order to thwart me, they need a hobby and a back rub. Not, of course, that I'm providing, but if I had that large of a stick lodged up my ass to cause such an incident as this, I'd need ( Read more... )

Holly? Lock the door again. I know you said it was locked (didn't you?) but I don't trust your methods. Seven, you know, is a universally revered number, lock it and unlock it seven times. Just to make sure. It would be ridiculous for someone of my caliber to get stolen from, much less to have a break-in of any sort. Aren't we supposed to have anti ( Read more... )

Everyone not inconsolably tainted or suddenly murderous, please raise your hand! If you're not sure about this, find out if, thus far in the day, anyone's asked you, "Is something wrong?" or "What's different about you, today?" Otherwise, you're just truly stupid, but if that's the case, I doubt taken time out of my busy schedule to deal with you, ( Read more... )