i dont believe in anything anymore. i dont think tthings get better in time. i think its just that u try to make the best of whatever you can and leave the rest up to apathy. thats really what it is, there is power in not caring.. and i really just dont give a fuck about anything anymore. i dont know who i am anymore. im broke. im broken. im alone ( Read more... )

i dont know anymore. i really feel like i should just let go and let it be. i know a piece of me will be missing but i cant live like this. with the paranoia and the nightmares.. it hurts so bad. and its like he gave up trying to prove himself.. things arent good what the hellare you doing? you fucked up before it even got close. im not going the ( Read more... )

this past week has been unbelievable.. like really... its hard to believe at times. i cant believe whats been going on..i want to soo bad. i want to believe every word he says to me, i want to believe the look in his eyes, i want to know in my heart that everything is going to be okay, that we will make it, that we will move in together, that no ( Read more... )

 today makes two weeks since i have seen him. i dont understand alot of what is going on and honestly it makes me lose hope for the future. i cant hate him. as much as i try to i can not be mad at him. "this is the best for us both in the end" its true.. this is what i needed and what i wanted.. i asked for it. i am fine. seriously, i miss him but ( Read more... )

 again i find myself faced with the question, "if i know i will be fine and everything will be alright, why does this bother me so?" its pathetic. i swear. and seriously, it hurts enough to cry and to be i guess irrational but that pain is NOWHERE near the the last time.. so why is the pain less but the reaction still so similar? i dont understand ( Read more... )

i really cant believe this. how can he just do this out of no where.. with no explanation.. nothing.. atleast i gave you an explanation each time.. and i talked to you when you asked me to talk to you.. i answered the phone.. why do i deserve this?  cause i dont. i dont deserve to be treated like this.. tomorrow will be a week since ive seen you ( Read more... )

i havent talked to him  since sunday. he never called back.. noone answered the phone. if he doesnt call me today than i think ill have to start my month again..the worst part of everything is that i know we will both be fine because thats how life is. i know as fine as we will be we both will be missin eachother. its crazy for me to think that i ( Read more... )

 im scared. i dont know if telling her the truth was the best thing to do but i couldnt hold it in any longer. i have this feeling in my stomache that it will backfire but i guess thats what i do best. i fuck myself over and then i hope for the best. i cant believe the wway things are. i dont understand and i am neveer going to be able to face ( Read more... )

 i dont know if maybe i am just weak when it comes to him or if maybe just maybe its real. it feels so real when italk to him. why does he have to make it so hard to not want him. why is he so fucking amazing even now.. even with this potentially riendhsip ruining perdicatment we are in, even now he is being fucking amazing, being worth every tear ( Read more... )

Three sleepless nights
This isn't how it's supposed to be
But you're so good at taking your time
To get back to me

I will wait for you forever
If you would just ask me
I thought that I could change you
But you changed me

It doesn't feel right
Holding someone elses hand
Together on phone lines
And living at two opposite ends

It scares me to think ( Read more... )