I hate my insecurities, they always come out best whenever I am trying to date someone. Then just like I imagine it is a self fulfilling prophecy and the person leaves me. Why do I not think great of myself? Why do I think I am such a joke. Its getting worse as the years go on. Why can't I just be myself and stop belittling every step I take. I ( Read more... )

So I think the only reason why Im sticking it out through college is that I want to say that I have finally started and finished something. That and I believe it will open more doors then it will close for me. Truthfully though, I don't know if thats enough. I would think that by now I would have become interested in at least one of my sciences ( Read more... )

So yesterday for Christmas day I went out caroling with a Russian Gospel Church. I am not religious in any way shape or form but I do believe that Christmas should not be spent alone. Luckily my friend Nadia from work felt this way as well (at least about the being alone part) and she invited me along to carol with her church. At first I felt very ( Read more... )

By the end of this coming summer I will have been in Bellingham for three years. I'm ready to go back. And I am going to.

I lost myself again. I let everything pile up and get the best of me. How did I let this happen? Why did I let something like a break up totally take me over? "Love" is a crazy thing. I thought I had it in my grasp but it was actually sand slipping through my fingers one mistake at a time. But if it was the right person than I wouldnt have made ( Read more... )

Wasting all of my time. Oh college, why do I procrastinate you? Here is hoping for a passing grade on my history test!

that when I am in Bellingham I am pretty much an indoor kid except for when I go running. I hardly ever go outside for anything else. Right now I am currently watching The X Files, How I Met your Mother, and 30 Rock. I sometimes think I should maybe spend more time reading or something but lately I have decided to throw that to the wind. During the ( Read more... )

Sometimes I feel like I have wasted too much time thinking about doing things rather than doing things. I mean I just feel like a lot of my life has been wasted thus far. I feel like I am pretty mediocre at whatever I do and I have never really taken anything that "One extra step", I always seem to stop in the middle and move on to something else. ( Read more... )

Lately I've realized that there is nothing like a decent nights sleep. Seriously it takes a good chunk out of the majority of depression that I feel on a daily basis. There is nothing like waking up feeling rested. The world begins to feel like your oyster again. It's too good.

Well I guess it is time for an update due to the fact that it feels like light years since I last step foot into my livejournal world. Here I go ( Read more... )