DBSK Fic: Half of The Moon (11/15)
Title: Half Of The Moon
Main pairing: Changmin x Junsu
Other pairings: Yunho x Jaejoong; Yoochun x Yoohwan; Kangin x Leeteuk;
Genre: Romance/Angst
Rating: R in this chapter, NC-17 overall
Warnings: THIS FIC CONTAINS LOTS OF ABUSE AT THE BEGINNING, INCLUDING DISTURBING RAPE SCENE, PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE WHICH MIGHT BE DISTURBING FOR SOME. It also contains very submissive Junsu and INCEST. You've been warned.
Disclaimer: I do not own DBSK/JYJ/Super Junior
Summary: Werewolf!Verse. Junsu was a submissive werewolf in his pack. He was a human once until a pack of rogue werewolves killed his entire family and made him a werewolf. There was nothing more he wanted more than to be dead. Unfortunately fate seemed to have different ideas.
Credit: Thank you for mearii87at Live Journal who has allowed me to use some of her ideas from this gorgeous 'Clair De Lune' universe she has created. Anyone who hasn't read her fics, you really should. They're amazing.
Beta-Ed by harunotenshi, thank you very much! ^^
This universe I've borrowed has been inspired by Patricia Briggs.
---
Half of the Moon
Chapter Eleven
By: Sharl/zielddhy
The fleeting touch on his cheek was what woke Junsu, but before he could identify it properly, the touch had gone.
He was still feeling sleepy and his brain couldn’t function properly yet so the first thing he did was slowly open his eyes, looking at the morning sunlight and the way the curtains he didn’t remember ever seeing was swirling with the wind. Then came the awareness on what happened yesterday and Junsu immediately sat up, eyes getting clearer as he took in the interior of the room before the memories came back like a nuclear explosion and holy shit, he really was in Changmin’s room.
Junsu blinked once. And twice. And yes, there was also Changmin’s constant presence in the bond, their mate bond. He could feel Changmin wanting to skip the steps two at a time because he had sensed that Junsu was awake but he couldn’t because he was -the door opened- carrying breakfast tray.
“Good morning,” Changmin said, “Have you slept well?”
Junsu nodded once and looked down, still not used with the way they were (kind of) mates now and how Changmin was once again nice to him but this time without Junsu having the fever part. His wolf was happy, he could feel that and when Wolf was happy Junsu was also happy. But then he glanced at the bedside clock at immediately cursed. He was supposed to be at the school two hours ago!
He was about to leap out from the bed when his mate’s voice stopped him. “I’ve already told Donghae to give some excuses for you, don’t worry. And Yunho has called the library telling them you’re not feeling well. So you have the day off.”
Junsu felt his stomach drop. Wow, at this rate it would be very surprising if he still has a job to come back to tomorrow. He had taken days off far too often for a new teacher/employee. The headmistress and his supervisor at the library must be very angry at him. But when he looked at Changmin suddenly he could sense that everything will be alright again.
Changmin grinned. “And I’m not working today too, so we can spend the day together. I’m thinking about going for a run later, you know, to patrol the border. I’ve been neglecting my duties to the pack lately. But first you have to eat!” he shoved the tray to Junsu’s nose, “Yoohwan is the one who cooked this so I can guarantee the taste.”
Junsu blinked again. “What?” he asked. Everything Changmin said was too fast and he was still a bit sleepy and although he did get the gist about pack duties and something about running later, he couldn’t hear anything else after Changmin said ‘spend the day together.’ Junsu could feel his heart skip one beat faster and he knew Changmin must have realized it too because the Second grinned even wider.
His smile was so free, so happy and Junsu knew his own face must be blushing. “Well, let’s go for a run after meeting our Alpha, he’s been asking for you. And Jaejoong too of course, he’s a worry wart. But like I said earlier Junsu, you have to eat first.”
+
They called in Yunho and Jaejoong later that day. Although they had seen glimpses of what happened to Junsu, experienced it first hand from the submissive himself was a whole different thing. Jaejoong was in tears while trying his best to soothe the Alpha. Yunho was more than angry and Junsu could feel Changmin suddenly had to shield the rest of the pack from its aggressiveness. The submissive himself was hugging his knees, a bit afraid because in his experience an angry Alpha was never a good thing.
He was also in awe though; his mate was very strong. Not many Seconds could shield the pack from an angry Alpha and it just proved how incredibly dominant Changmin was. The unworthy self-depreciating feeling came back, but Junsu pushed it down before it could grow stronger. Instead he focused on his mate, trying not to distract him because shielding the pack was a hard job. He could see Changmin struggling a bit and Junsu knew if he got back onto that self-loathing feeling, his mate would no doubt lose concentration.
Because mate comes before pack, always has, always will.
It was few moments later before the Alpha finally controlled his wolf, his eyes were no longer golden. Instead they looked sadly at Junsu as he spoke. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything, but know this: you are a part of my pack, and I won’t let anything bad happen to you or to your mate. I promise.”
Yunho said it with conviction and sincerity, letting Junsu know how precious he was to the Alpha and the rest of the pack and Junsu could feel his eyes tearing up. He felt incredibly stupid. If only, if only he hadn’t kept his past to himself for so long, he would’ve felt it earlier. How it felt like to be loved, to be cared for, to be appreciated. If only he opened up to the pack earlier.
But then he remembered that Changmin had rejected him at first and so yeah, it wasn’t entirely Junsu’s fault either.
Changmin must’ve caught that thought because suddenly he was on Junsu’s side, looking really apologetic and sad and Junsu immediately felt bad. I’m sorry, Changmin said again to their bond, how can I ever live up to that mistake? No scratch that, I can’t.
Junsu didn’t answer, partly because he knew it was true, and the other because no matter what Junsu said, Changmin would always feel guilty no matter what. And somehow it made Junsu feel a bit happy. As long as Changmin felt guilty over that, it meant that he still wanted Junsu.
The submissive only hoped that his mate wouldn’t get over that feeling so soon. He knew it was utterly selfish but it’s something he really wanted. Because after falling deep into the dark abyss one time too many, finally he had been pulled out of it. And now that he had both feet on the ground, he could walk forward again, even maybe with his head held high. Hopefully this time he could find his way towards the light before the ground opened up again to reveal yet another hole for him to fall in to.
“Junsu?” Changmin’s voice broke him from his musings. Junsu looked up to see his mate staring at him with concern. “Are you alright?”
Junsu nodded. “Yes, it’s just umm, some negative thoughts.”
Changmin looked like he wanted to say something else, but he didn’t. He just smiled a little and Junsu couldn’t help but gasp when Changmin took his hand and squeezed it. “If you say so,” he replied. I’m here, was what Junsu knew Changmin was saying despite the lack of words, I will make sure you won’t fall again.
Unconsciously, Junsu squeezed Changmin’s hand tighter. Don’t let me, please.
+
They could sense the other pack members’ curiosity, wanting to know what the hell was going on, but one warning growl from Yunho sent the rest of the pack running. Junsu managed to follow Yoohwan though, to say thank you for the breakfast (“I told Yoochun to let me cook more often but he just won’t listen, that stubborn brother of mine”) before Jaejoong appeared to remind them that they’re running out of meat and could Yoohwan ask Donghae to grab some on his way back?
Junsu left them to look for Changmin because it was getting late and Junsu knew Changmin still had to patrol the border. He finally found his mate in the kitchen, talking in whispered tones to Siwon who obviously seemed upset about something.
“…but I smelled him Min, I smelled my mate and I knew that!”
“Siwon you said it yourself, the smell was too faint and you can’t track it back you know this. That’s why you’re here now instead with him.”
“But I finally found him,” Junsu could hear Siwon was near tears now, “and then he was gone just like that. I can’t… Min, I can’t-“
“You can and you will find him again,” Changmin cut off whatever Siwon was trying to say earlier. He said, even using a bit of his dominance as a Second to emphasize the meaning, to make Siwon believe. “Trust me Siwon, you will see him and when that time comes, the scent will be clear right in front of you, not faint and indistinct like yesterday morning.”
Junsu tiptoed away from the kitchen, knowing it wasn’t his right to know what happened. He was still not Changmin’s official mate (although technically he was) until they mated after all. And because of that it wasn’t appropriate for Junsu to know what happened to Siwon though he already had an idea.
But the scene at the kitchen made Junsu wonder. The fact that Changmin was a Second in the pack hit him again like a ton of bricks. Changmin had a lot of duties to the pack - listening to Siwon and advising just now was one of them. Meeting your mate was something you should consult with high-ranking wolves and although Junsu didn’t know exactly why Siwon didn’t go to Yunho, he figured maybe it’s because Siwon felt closer to Changmin than to the Alpha. And he must’ve waited in agony for two days straight, because Changmin was too busy handling Junsu’s mess.
Junsu sighed. How could he make sure that he wouldn’t get in the way of Changmin’s duties to the pack? It was impossible to speak of this to Changmin because again, mate comes first before the pack. There was only one obvious solution and it was staring at him in the face.
He had to learn to clean up after his own mess. Junsu wasn’t stupid, he knew that the only one who could take the first step was himself. And strangely enough, Junsu wasn’t scared at the prospect. With Wolf (who was now very happy and satisfied because everything began to fall into place) with him, Junsu felt they could do this. After all they always had each other’s backs. Moreover if that was not enough, he could always rely on his pack.
And his mate. His handsome, strong, reliable mate. For Changmin’s sake, Junsu was willing to try. It was about time he got over and forgot those memories. Like what Changmin said yesterday, it was time to replace them with better, happier memories.
Junsu, where are you? Come on, my Wolf is beginning to get whiny, he wants to go already.
Start with this run patrolling the border. Junsu answered his mate back, I’m coming. Wait there.
-End of Chapter Eleven-
Author’s Note: I know it’s short, but it’s really really hard to write something angsty (which is what I want to do at the beginning of this chapter) while my brain is playing Junsu’s Incredible and Turn It Up on loop. In fact all my wolves muses are currently dancing away in summer party :-/ Next chapter will be longer though, I promise! And maybe a bit angsty, idk, I haven’t decided.
Although obviously I can’t write angst after seeing this DAMN IT SU
Chapter Twelve: The Second Memories/a>
Chapter Ten: The Truth
Chapter Nine: The Losing Battle
Chapter Eight: The Memories
Chapter Seven: The First Step
Chapter Six: The Point of No Return
Chapter Five: The Defiance
Chapter Four: The First Hunt
Chapter Three: The Mate
Chapter Two: The New Pack
Chapter One: The Rescue
The Prologue
The Foreword
Main pairing: Changmin x Junsu
Other pairings: Yunho x Jaejoong; Yoochun x Yoohwan; Kangin x Leeteuk;
Genre: Romance/Angst
Rating: R in this chapter, NC-17 overall
Warnings: THIS FIC CONTAINS LOTS OF ABUSE AT THE BEGINNING, INCLUDING DISTURBING RAPE SCENE, PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE WHICH MIGHT BE DISTURBING FOR SOME. It also contains very submissive Junsu and INCEST. You've been warned.
Disclaimer: I do not own DBSK/JYJ/Super Junior
Summary: Werewolf!Verse. Junsu was a submissive werewolf in his pack. He was a human once until a pack of rogue werewolves killed his entire family and made him a werewolf. There was nothing more he wanted more than to be dead. Unfortunately fate seemed to have different ideas.
Credit: Thank you for mearii87at Live Journal who has allowed me to use some of her ideas from this gorgeous 'Clair De Lune' universe she has created. Anyone who hasn't read her fics, you really should. They're amazing.
Beta-Ed by harunotenshi, thank you very much! ^^
This universe I've borrowed has been inspired by Patricia Briggs.
---
Half of the Moon
Chapter Eleven
By: Sharl/zielddhy
The fleeting touch on his cheek was what woke Junsu, but before he could identify it properly, the touch had gone.
He was still feeling sleepy and his brain couldn’t function properly yet so the first thing he did was slowly open his eyes, looking at the morning sunlight and the way the curtains he didn’t remember ever seeing was swirling with the wind. Then came the awareness on what happened yesterday and Junsu immediately sat up, eyes getting clearer as he took in the interior of the room before the memories came back like a nuclear explosion and holy shit, he really was in Changmin’s room.
Junsu blinked once. And twice. And yes, there was also Changmin’s constant presence in the bond, their mate bond. He could feel Changmin wanting to skip the steps two at a time because he had sensed that Junsu was awake but he couldn’t because he was -the door opened- carrying breakfast tray.
“Good morning,” Changmin said, “Have you slept well?”
Junsu nodded once and looked down, still not used with the way they were (kind of) mates now and how Changmin was once again nice to him but this time without Junsu having the fever part. His wolf was happy, he could feel that and when Wolf was happy Junsu was also happy. But then he glanced at the bedside clock at immediately cursed. He was supposed to be at the school two hours ago!
He was about to leap out from the bed when his mate’s voice stopped him. “I’ve already told Donghae to give some excuses for you, don’t worry. And Yunho has called the library telling them you’re not feeling well. So you have the day off.”
Junsu felt his stomach drop. Wow, at this rate it would be very surprising if he still has a job to come back to tomorrow. He had taken days off far too often for a new teacher/employee. The headmistress and his supervisor at the library must be very angry at him. But when he looked at Changmin suddenly he could sense that everything will be alright again.
Changmin grinned. “And I’m not working today too, so we can spend the day together. I’m thinking about going for a run later, you know, to patrol the border. I’ve been neglecting my duties to the pack lately. But first you have to eat!” he shoved the tray to Junsu’s nose, “Yoohwan is the one who cooked this so I can guarantee the taste.”
Junsu blinked again. “What?” he asked. Everything Changmin said was too fast and he was still a bit sleepy and although he did get the gist about pack duties and something about running later, he couldn’t hear anything else after Changmin said ‘spend the day together.’ Junsu could feel his heart skip one beat faster and he knew Changmin must have realized it too because the Second grinned even wider.
His smile was so free, so happy and Junsu knew his own face must be blushing. “Well, let’s go for a run after meeting our Alpha, he’s been asking for you. And Jaejoong too of course, he’s a worry wart. But like I said earlier Junsu, you have to eat first.”
+
They called in Yunho and Jaejoong later that day. Although they had seen glimpses of what happened to Junsu, experienced it first hand from the submissive himself was a whole different thing. Jaejoong was in tears while trying his best to soothe the Alpha. Yunho was more than angry and Junsu could feel Changmin suddenly had to shield the rest of the pack from its aggressiveness. The submissive himself was hugging his knees, a bit afraid because in his experience an angry Alpha was never a good thing.
He was also in awe though; his mate was very strong. Not many Seconds could shield the pack from an angry Alpha and it just proved how incredibly dominant Changmin was. The unworthy self-depreciating feeling came back, but Junsu pushed it down before it could grow stronger. Instead he focused on his mate, trying not to distract him because shielding the pack was a hard job. He could see Changmin struggling a bit and Junsu knew if he got back onto that self-loathing feeling, his mate would no doubt lose concentration.
Because mate comes before pack, always has, always will.
It was few moments later before the Alpha finally controlled his wolf, his eyes were no longer golden. Instead they looked sadly at Junsu as he spoke. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything, but know this: you are a part of my pack, and I won’t let anything bad happen to you or to your mate. I promise.”
Yunho said it with conviction and sincerity, letting Junsu know how precious he was to the Alpha and the rest of the pack and Junsu could feel his eyes tearing up. He felt incredibly stupid. If only, if only he hadn’t kept his past to himself for so long, he would’ve felt it earlier. How it felt like to be loved, to be cared for, to be appreciated. If only he opened up to the pack earlier.
But then he remembered that Changmin had rejected him at first and so yeah, it wasn’t entirely Junsu’s fault either.
Changmin must’ve caught that thought because suddenly he was on Junsu’s side, looking really apologetic and sad and Junsu immediately felt bad. I’m sorry, Changmin said again to their bond, how can I ever live up to that mistake? No scratch that, I can’t.
Junsu didn’t answer, partly because he knew it was true, and the other because no matter what Junsu said, Changmin would always feel guilty no matter what. And somehow it made Junsu feel a bit happy. As long as Changmin felt guilty over that, it meant that he still wanted Junsu.
The submissive only hoped that his mate wouldn’t get over that feeling so soon. He knew it was utterly selfish but it’s something he really wanted. Because after falling deep into the dark abyss one time too many, finally he had been pulled out of it. And now that he had both feet on the ground, he could walk forward again, even maybe with his head held high. Hopefully this time he could find his way towards the light before the ground opened up again to reveal yet another hole for him to fall in to.
“Junsu?” Changmin’s voice broke him from his musings. Junsu looked up to see his mate staring at him with concern. “Are you alright?”
Junsu nodded. “Yes, it’s just umm, some negative thoughts.”
Changmin looked like he wanted to say something else, but he didn’t. He just smiled a little and Junsu couldn’t help but gasp when Changmin took his hand and squeezed it. “If you say so,” he replied. I’m here, was what Junsu knew Changmin was saying despite the lack of words, I will make sure you won’t fall again.
Unconsciously, Junsu squeezed Changmin’s hand tighter. Don’t let me, please.
+
They could sense the other pack members’ curiosity, wanting to know what the hell was going on, but one warning growl from Yunho sent the rest of the pack running. Junsu managed to follow Yoohwan though, to say thank you for the breakfast (“I told Yoochun to let me cook more often but he just won’t listen, that stubborn brother of mine”) before Jaejoong appeared to remind them that they’re running out of meat and could Yoohwan ask Donghae to grab some on his way back?
Junsu left them to look for Changmin because it was getting late and Junsu knew Changmin still had to patrol the border. He finally found his mate in the kitchen, talking in whispered tones to Siwon who obviously seemed upset about something.
“…but I smelled him Min, I smelled my mate and I knew that!”
“Siwon you said it yourself, the smell was too faint and you can’t track it back you know this. That’s why you’re here now instead with him.”
“But I finally found him,” Junsu could hear Siwon was near tears now, “and then he was gone just like that. I can’t… Min, I can’t-“
“You can and you will find him again,” Changmin cut off whatever Siwon was trying to say earlier. He said, even using a bit of his dominance as a Second to emphasize the meaning, to make Siwon believe. “Trust me Siwon, you will see him and when that time comes, the scent will be clear right in front of you, not faint and indistinct like yesterday morning.”
Junsu tiptoed away from the kitchen, knowing it wasn’t his right to know what happened. He was still not Changmin’s official mate (although technically he was) until they mated after all. And because of that it wasn’t appropriate for Junsu to know what happened to Siwon though he already had an idea.
But the scene at the kitchen made Junsu wonder. The fact that Changmin was a Second in the pack hit him again like a ton of bricks. Changmin had a lot of duties to the pack - listening to Siwon and advising just now was one of them. Meeting your mate was something you should consult with high-ranking wolves and although Junsu didn’t know exactly why Siwon didn’t go to Yunho, he figured maybe it’s because Siwon felt closer to Changmin than to the Alpha. And he must’ve waited in agony for two days straight, because Changmin was too busy handling Junsu’s mess.
Junsu sighed. How could he make sure that he wouldn’t get in the way of Changmin’s duties to the pack? It was impossible to speak of this to Changmin because again, mate comes first before the pack. There was only one obvious solution and it was staring at him in the face.
He had to learn to clean up after his own mess. Junsu wasn’t stupid, he knew that the only one who could take the first step was himself. And strangely enough, Junsu wasn’t scared at the prospect. With Wolf (who was now very happy and satisfied because everything began to fall into place) with him, Junsu felt they could do this. After all they always had each other’s backs. Moreover if that was not enough, he could always rely on his pack.
And his mate. His handsome, strong, reliable mate. For Changmin’s sake, Junsu was willing to try. It was about time he got over and forgot those memories. Like what Changmin said yesterday, it was time to replace them with better, happier memories.
Junsu, where are you? Come on, my Wolf is beginning to get whiny, he wants to go already.
Start with this run patrolling the border. Junsu answered his mate back, I’m coming. Wait there.
-End of Chapter Eleven-
Author’s Note: I know it’s short, but it’s really really hard to write something angsty (which is what I want to do at the beginning of this chapter) while my brain is playing Junsu’s Incredible and Turn It Up on loop. In fact all my wolves muses are currently dancing away in summer party :-/ Next chapter will be longer though, I promise! And maybe a bit angsty, idk, I haven’t decided.
Although obviously I can’t write angst after seeing this DAMN IT SU
Chapter Twelve: The Second Memories/a>
Chapter Ten: The Truth
Chapter Nine: The Losing Battle
Chapter Eight: The Memories
Chapter Seven: The First Step
Chapter Six: The Point of No Return
Chapter Five: The Defiance
Chapter Four: The First Hunt
Chapter Three: The Mate
Chapter Two: The New Pack
Chapter One: The Rescue
The Prologue
The Foreword