DBSK Fic: Half of The Moon (8/15)
Title: Half Of The Moon
Main pairing: Changmin x Junsu
Other pairings: Yunho x Jaejoong; Yoochun x Yoohwan; Kangin x Leeteuk;
Genre: Romance/Angst
Rating: R in this chapter, NC-17 overall
Warnings: THIS FIC CONTAINS LOTS OF ABUSE AT THE BEGINNING, INCLUDING DISTURBING RAPE SCENE, PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE WHICH MIGHT BE DISTURBING FOR SOME. It also contains very submissive Junsu and INCEST. You've been warned.
Disclaimer: I do not own DBSK/JYJ/Super Junior
Summary: Werewolf!Verse. Junsu was a submissive werewolf in his pack. He was a human once until a pack of rogue werewolves killed his entire family and made him a werewolf. There was nothing more he wanted more than to be dead. Unfortunately fate seemed to have different ideas.
Credit: Thank you for mearii87at Live Journal who has allowed me to use some of her ideas from this gorgeous 'Clair De Lune' universe she has created. Anyone who hasn't read her fics, you really should. They're amazing.
Beta-Ed by harunotenshi, thank you very much! ^^
This universe I've borrowed has been inspired by Patricia Briggs.
---
Half of the Moon
Chapter Eight
By: Sharl/zielddhy
To say that Junsu was confused was an understatement.
Since he was turned into a werewolf, his life had taken pain and sadness to a whole new level. In fact he hadn’t known any other emotions for years and Yesung said it was a miracle that Junsu was somewhat normal although he had been captured and abused and raped for so long. To be honest Junsu didn’t remember how long he was imprisoned, he had stopped counting the days since his third suicide attempt failed miserably.
When Changmin refused him; that was the cherry on top, so to speak, he knew then his life had no meaning anymore. If it wasn’t for Yunho practically ordered him not to commit suicide, Junsu would’ve drowned himself long ago.
Then Junsu made a pact with his wolf, he would accept that fact and continued living his life, but only if his Wolf helped him to close his bond with Changmin. A mate bond was the only thing that could delve into somebody’s mind. If Junsu unconsciously remembered his past, and if by any random chance Changmin was looking into the mate bond, he could find out what Junsu’s past was about. That was the last thing Junsu ever, ever, ever wanted. It was his shame, and his alone. Not even Leeteuk knew the details.
Wolf immediately agreed because he loved Junsu too. They always had his each other’s backs.
But just as Junsu started to get used with the idea that Changmin didn’t want him, the dominant suddenly began acting strange. He started to care about Junsu, like really, really care about him. He cooked him food, gave him medicine, even started to ask him about his personal life. And it scared the hell out of Junsu because he didn’t know where to stand right now. What did Changmin want? Junsu only knew that the dominant turned his life upside down. Again.
Once again, Junsu was swimming in uncharted waters. But the question is how far does he dare to go?
+
“Junsu, Minho’s here. Are you done packing?” Changmin asked from the doorway.
Junsu put one last shirt into his backpack and zipped it close. They were about to go back to the pack’s house and Minho was there to pick them up, under Yunho’s orders of course. The submissive looked around the room to make sure nothing was left behind. Finally feeling satisfied, he nodded, “Yes I’m done.”
“Do you need help with that?”
“No,” Junsu’s grip on his backpack tightened as he frowned, “I can manage.”
Changmin studied him for a moment and didn’t say anything. Junsu couldn’t help but shift from one foot to another under that intense gaze. Out of habit, he bit his lips, eyes looking downward. His mind began to think about negative thoughts, did he say something wrong? He was just rejecting the other’s help but maybe he shouldn’t? But he wasn’t sick anymore and it was a light backpack too. So why did the dominant look at Junsu like that? Was Changmin angry with him?
Few moments of agonizing silence later, Changmin finally spoke. “Okay, I’m just asking,” he said with a calm voice. He then turned around, leaving Junsu who visibly sagged in relief.
Get a grip on yourself, Su, don’t be such a coward. With one final deep breath, Junsu straightened up himself and walked out from the bedroom. It was almost sunset outside and the sun’s orange rays casted beautiful shadows on the wooden floor. Changmin’s tall form made an even taller shadow as the man stood at the front porch, joking around with Minho.
Instinctively Junsu kneeled on the floor and touched his mate’s shadow, caressing its head. He bit his lips again as he smoothed the outline of the other’s shadow. He wanted to touch the real him, but he wasn’t sure if it was welcomed. Changmin was so handsome, his wolf’s form so beautiful. What was Junsu compared to him? He was only a body that had been used over and over again. Junsu felt disgusted with himself, but then again who wouldn’t be? If only Changmin knew a third of things that had happened to Junsu, he would also feel disgusted and wouldn’t be so kind to him again.
Suddenly Junsu felt so embarrassed. His hands faltered and stopped three centimeters above the wooden floor. Even Changmin’s shadow now looked so pure compared to his tainted hands.
How many times he had held other men’s cocks with those fingers?
“Junsu? Are you alright? What’s wrong?”
He looked up immediately, realizing that Changmin and Minho had been watching him. They were now looking at him with unreadable expression. Junsu flushed. He stood up immediately, straightened his backpack and replied, “I’m fine, it’s just, umm, I dropped something.”
Junsu had always been a bad liar, even his twin said so. That’s why he knew without looking at their eyes that neither man believed him. And so he did the next best thing, changing the subject. “Okay, umm, shall we go now?”
+
They were back at the house when it was nearly midnight, but the house was still so lively. None of its occupants had gone to sleep.
None among the pack members asked them what happened during their times at the cabin. It was only Donghae who tried to ask once, but Changmin was growling by the time they set foot at the house so the others wisely kept their mouths shut. They didn’t need to ask anyway, they couldn’t sniff Changmin’s scent on Junsu so undoubtedly they hadn’t mated. Jaejoong and Yunho didn’t say anything either, but their expressions weren’t good at all. As if they were disappointed and worried.
Junsu wanted to apologize to the Alpha, he didn’t know what he had done wrong but usually it was his fault so he should apologize anyway. But just when he was about to, he saw Changmin’s face tightened. It was obvious that The Second was controlling his anger. And Junsu sensed that the anger was directed at him.
He felt like he wanted to cry.
The days at the cabin seemed like a fleeting dream, just like any other happy experiences he ever had. They were all reduced to be mere memories.
Suddenly the feeling was overwhelming. He had disappointed his Alpha, his mate for some unknown reasons was angry at him again and Junsu wanted nothing more than to just curl up in his bed and cry his eyes out.
He made up some excuses about being tired and immediately went up to his room. After slamming the door shut and locking it, he took a deep breath, trying his best to calm the fuck down.
Every time he felt bad, those ugly ugly memories came back and haunted him. Junsu could feel his old pack around him, their voices jeering, their eyes judging, their laughter deafening. And then came the voice of the Alpha, telling him to crawl on the bed and open his legs wide.
Junsu’s breath hitched. A breathless sob escaped him. He slid down the door, crumbling into a useless pile on the floor. At the back of his mind he knew that they were gone, his old pack were all dead, and he could feel his Wolf trying to calm him down, but Junsu just couldn’t.
That night for the second time since he joined Yunho’s pack, Junsu had a nightmare.
+
Avoiding Changmin was once again Junsu’s main priority. It wasn’t a hard job anyway, because he had two jobs to keep him busy.
He had discovered that the busier he was the better. His mind wouldn’t have the chance to think about negative thoughts or memories. The uphill walk at midnight after he was done with his job at the library also helped a lot. He would be so tired by the time he was finally back at the house, he wouldn’t have any energy left other than to take a shower and collapse on the bed. That way, the haunting jeers and laughter and fleeting touches from his old pack wouldn’t disturb him.
And then he would wake up early the next day, feeling relieved because his body and mind were too tired to make him have a nightmare. It was a good routine in Junsu’s opinion, although he had to admit he was feeling a bit lonely. Other than Donghae who taught at the same school with him, Junsu hadn’t seen the other pack members often.
Jaejoong occasionally dropped by the library to give him extra food or snacks. Sometimes Yunho was with him too and they would borrow a book or two. That was how Junsu knew his Alpha, his tough manly Alpha, had an unhealthy obsession towards Bambi.
A few nights before the full moon, Junsu was cataloguing shipment new shipment of books when suddenly somebody called his name. His co-worker, a thin gangly teenager called Geun Suk was on personal leave today so it couldn’t be him. Most of the library patrons just dumped books in front of him and wouldn’t bother to read his name on the nametag he was wearing. Yunho and Jaejoong just visited yesterday so it couldn’t be them either.
What Junsu didn’t expect was seeing Changmin standing in front of him, wearing a long sleeved sweater and outer coat. The Second looked as imposing as ever, and with his hands in those jeans’ pocket, to Junsu he looked scary too. Changmin’s expression was unreadable, as usual, but the mere sight of him was enough to make Junsu’s heart beat a little faster.
Why was Changmin here? How did he even know that Junsu worked here? Oh right, Junsu told him that himself back at the cabin. But why was he here? “Hi,” Junsu said finally. Out of habit he casted his eyes downwards, focusing on the books in front of him, trying to ignore the way his hands began to tremble.
“I’ll take you home,” Changmin said suddenly.
Junsu frowned, “Huh? But I’m not done with my shift.”
“Then I’ll wait. Don’t worry I won’t bother you.” With that he turned around and walked towards one corner, picking a random history book and sat down on the chair. Junsu watched as Changmin began to flip the pages, stopping every now and then if there was a picture that caught his interest. Taking a deep breath, Junsu wondered why Changmin picked him up. He hadn’t done anything to make The Second pissed off at him had he?
Two hours later his shift ended. Junsu shut down the computer, locking the drawers and turning off the lights by the staff desk. From the corner of his eyes, he saw that Changmin hadn’t moved. The dominant was still sitting in the same chair and reading the same book, although he was now nearing the book’s final chapters. Unsure of what to do, Junsu cleared his throat. “I’m done.”
Changmin looked up from the book. He nodded once, put the book back on shelf and walked towards Junsu. They got into Changmin’s car and drove back. Neither of them spoke, making the situation became more awkward.
Junsu fidgeted in his seat. He didn’t have anything to do than just sitting there while Changmin drove. The heavy atmosphere wasn’t helping at all and so his brain started to conjure back all the memories. It always began with the taunting voices, laughing at him because he was naked and the others were not. He was on his hands and knees while the others stood tall. Junsu could see the mocking faces that smirked at him, waiting for the Alpha to show up and claimed him so that the others could do too.
Then the Alpha would arrive. He would tug on Junsu’s hair, forcing him to swallow his cock and then he would fuck him. The others would then cheer; some were already stroking their cocks because they knew it would be their turn soon.
Unconsciously Junsu began to tremble, the memories seemed so real now that he wasn’t doing something, anything that can take his mind off it. His breathing grew heavier and Junsu didn’t see Changmin look at him questioningly. He could only see his old pack members circling around him, their hands touching his naked body. A body that was not even his own. He was theirs, a toy to be played with and sex was the game.
How many cocks had breached his body? How many cum had he swallowed? How many times had that whip cut through his skin? Junsu whimpered. His Wolf was whining at the back of his mind but he couldn’t concentrate on it. Instead his old Alpha’s words replayed itself: disgusting submissive, not worthy of anything except being a body to fuck.
Suddenly somebody touched his body for real and the first thing Junsu did was scream.
-End of Chapter Eight-
Chapter Nine: The Losing Battle
Chapter Seven: The First Step
Chapter Six: The Point of No Return
Chapter Five: The Defiance
Chapter Four: The First Hunt
Chapter Three: The Mate
Chapter Two: The New Pack
Chapter One: The Rescue
The Prologue
The Foreword
Main pairing: Changmin x Junsu
Other pairings: Yunho x Jaejoong; Yoochun x Yoohwan; Kangin x Leeteuk;
Genre: Romance/Angst
Rating: R in this chapter, NC-17 overall
Warnings: THIS FIC CONTAINS LOTS OF ABUSE AT THE BEGINNING, INCLUDING DISTURBING RAPE SCENE, PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE WHICH MIGHT BE DISTURBING FOR SOME. It also contains very submissive Junsu and INCEST. You've been warned.
Disclaimer: I do not own DBSK/JYJ/Super Junior
Summary: Werewolf!Verse. Junsu was a submissive werewolf in his pack. He was a human once until a pack of rogue werewolves killed his entire family and made him a werewolf. There was nothing more he wanted more than to be dead. Unfortunately fate seemed to have different ideas.
Credit: Thank you for mearii87at Live Journal who has allowed me to use some of her ideas from this gorgeous 'Clair De Lune' universe she has created. Anyone who hasn't read her fics, you really should. They're amazing.
Beta-Ed by harunotenshi, thank you very much! ^^
This universe I've borrowed has been inspired by Patricia Briggs.
---
Half of the Moon
Chapter Eight
By: Sharl/zielddhy
To say that Junsu was confused was an understatement.
Since he was turned into a werewolf, his life had taken pain and sadness to a whole new level. In fact he hadn’t known any other emotions for years and Yesung said it was a miracle that Junsu was somewhat normal although he had been captured and abused and raped for so long. To be honest Junsu didn’t remember how long he was imprisoned, he had stopped counting the days since his third suicide attempt failed miserably.
When Changmin refused him; that was the cherry on top, so to speak, he knew then his life had no meaning anymore. If it wasn’t for Yunho practically ordered him not to commit suicide, Junsu would’ve drowned himself long ago.
Then Junsu made a pact with his wolf, he would accept that fact and continued living his life, but only if his Wolf helped him to close his bond with Changmin. A mate bond was the only thing that could delve into somebody’s mind. If Junsu unconsciously remembered his past, and if by any random chance Changmin was looking into the mate bond, he could find out what Junsu’s past was about. That was the last thing Junsu ever, ever, ever wanted. It was his shame, and his alone. Not even Leeteuk knew the details.
Wolf immediately agreed because he loved Junsu too. They always had his each other’s backs.
But just as Junsu started to get used with the idea that Changmin didn’t want him, the dominant suddenly began acting strange. He started to care about Junsu, like really, really care about him. He cooked him food, gave him medicine, even started to ask him about his personal life. And it scared the hell out of Junsu because he didn’t know where to stand right now. What did Changmin want? Junsu only knew that the dominant turned his life upside down. Again.
Once again, Junsu was swimming in uncharted waters. But the question is how far does he dare to go?
+
“Junsu, Minho’s here. Are you done packing?” Changmin asked from the doorway.
Junsu put one last shirt into his backpack and zipped it close. They were about to go back to the pack’s house and Minho was there to pick them up, under Yunho’s orders of course. The submissive looked around the room to make sure nothing was left behind. Finally feeling satisfied, he nodded, “Yes I’m done.”
“Do you need help with that?”
“No,” Junsu’s grip on his backpack tightened as he frowned, “I can manage.”
Changmin studied him for a moment and didn’t say anything. Junsu couldn’t help but shift from one foot to another under that intense gaze. Out of habit, he bit his lips, eyes looking downward. His mind began to think about negative thoughts, did he say something wrong? He was just rejecting the other’s help but maybe he shouldn’t? But he wasn’t sick anymore and it was a light backpack too. So why did the dominant look at Junsu like that? Was Changmin angry with him?
Few moments of agonizing silence later, Changmin finally spoke. “Okay, I’m just asking,” he said with a calm voice. He then turned around, leaving Junsu who visibly sagged in relief.
Get a grip on yourself, Su, don’t be such a coward. With one final deep breath, Junsu straightened up himself and walked out from the bedroom. It was almost sunset outside and the sun’s orange rays casted beautiful shadows on the wooden floor. Changmin’s tall form made an even taller shadow as the man stood at the front porch, joking around with Minho.
Instinctively Junsu kneeled on the floor and touched his mate’s shadow, caressing its head. He bit his lips again as he smoothed the outline of the other’s shadow. He wanted to touch the real him, but he wasn’t sure if it was welcomed. Changmin was so handsome, his wolf’s form so beautiful. What was Junsu compared to him? He was only a body that had been used over and over again. Junsu felt disgusted with himself, but then again who wouldn’t be? If only Changmin knew a third of things that had happened to Junsu, he would also feel disgusted and wouldn’t be so kind to him again.
Suddenly Junsu felt so embarrassed. His hands faltered and stopped three centimeters above the wooden floor. Even Changmin’s shadow now looked so pure compared to his tainted hands.
How many times he had held other men’s cocks with those fingers?
“Junsu? Are you alright? What’s wrong?”
He looked up immediately, realizing that Changmin and Minho had been watching him. They were now looking at him with unreadable expression. Junsu flushed. He stood up immediately, straightened his backpack and replied, “I’m fine, it’s just, umm, I dropped something.”
Junsu had always been a bad liar, even his twin said so. That’s why he knew without looking at their eyes that neither man believed him. And so he did the next best thing, changing the subject. “Okay, umm, shall we go now?”
+
They were back at the house when it was nearly midnight, but the house was still so lively. None of its occupants had gone to sleep.
None among the pack members asked them what happened during their times at the cabin. It was only Donghae who tried to ask once, but Changmin was growling by the time they set foot at the house so the others wisely kept their mouths shut. They didn’t need to ask anyway, they couldn’t sniff Changmin’s scent on Junsu so undoubtedly they hadn’t mated. Jaejoong and Yunho didn’t say anything either, but their expressions weren’t good at all. As if they were disappointed and worried.
Junsu wanted to apologize to the Alpha, he didn’t know what he had done wrong but usually it was his fault so he should apologize anyway. But just when he was about to, he saw Changmin’s face tightened. It was obvious that The Second was controlling his anger. And Junsu sensed that the anger was directed at him.
He felt like he wanted to cry.
The days at the cabin seemed like a fleeting dream, just like any other happy experiences he ever had. They were all reduced to be mere memories.
Suddenly the feeling was overwhelming. He had disappointed his Alpha, his mate for some unknown reasons was angry at him again and Junsu wanted nothing more than to just curl up in his bed and cry his eyes out.
He made up some excuses about being tired and immediately went up to his room. After slamming the door shut and locking it, he took a deep breath, trying his best to calm the fuck down.
Every time he felt bad, those ugly ugly memories came back and haunted him. Junsu could feel his old pack around him, their voices jeering, their eyes judging, their laughter deafening. And then came the voice of the Alpha, telling him to crawl on the bed and open his legs wide.
Junsu’s breath hitched. A breathless sob escaped him. He slid down the door, crumbling into a useless pile on the floor. At the back of his mind he knew that they were gone, his old pack were all dead, and he could feel his Wolf trying to calm him down, but Junsu just couldn’t.
That night for the second time since he joined Yunho’s pack, Junsu had a nightmare.
+
Avoiding Changmin was once again Junsu’s main priority. It wasn’t a hard job anyway, because he had two jobs to keep him busy.
He had discovered that the busier he was the better. His mind wouldn’t have the chance to think about negative thoughts or memories. The uphill walk at midnight after he was done with his job at the library also helped a lot. He would be so tired by the time he was finally back at the house, he wouldn’t have any energy left other than to take a shower and collapse on the bed. That way, the haunting jeers and laughter and fleeting touches from his old pack wouldn’t disturb him.
And then he would wake up early the next day, feeling relieved because his body and mind were too tired to make him have a nightmare. It was a good routine in Junsu’s opinion, although he had to admit he was feeling a bit lonely. Other than Donghae who taught at the same school with him, Junsu hadn’t seen the other pack members often.
Jaejoong occasionally dropped by the library to give him extra food or snacks. Sometimes Yunho was with him too and they would borrow a book or two. That was how Junsu knew his Alpha, his tough manly Alpha, had an unhealthy obsession towards Bambi.
A few nights before the full moon, Junsu was cataloguing shipment new shipment of books when suddenly somebody called his name. His co-worker, a thin gangly teenager called Geun Suk was on personal leave today so it couldn’t be him. Most of the library patrons just dumped books in front of him and wouldn’t bother to read his name on the nametag he was wearing. Yunho and Jaejoong just visited yesterday so it couldn’t be them either.
What Junsu didn’t expect was seeing Changmin standing in front of him, wearing a long sleeved sweater and outer coat. The Second looked as imposing as ever, and with his hands in those jeans’ pocket, to Junsu he looked scary too. Changmin’s expression was unreadable, as usual, but the mere sight of him was enough to make Junsu’s heart beat a little faster.
Why was Changmin here? How did he even know that Junsu worked here? Oh right, Junsu told him that himself back at the cabin. But why was he here? “Hi,” Junsu said finally. Out of habit he casted his eyes downwards, focusing on the books in front of him, trying to ignore the way his hands began to tremble.
“I’ll take you home,” Changmin said suddenly.
Junsu frowned, “Huh? But I’m not done with my shift.”
“Then I’ll wait. Don’t worry I won’t bother you.” With that he turned around and walked towards one corner, picking a random history book and sat down on the chair. Junsu watched as Changmin began to flip the pages, stopping every now and then if there was a picture that caught his interest. Taking a deep breath, Junsu wondered why Changmin picked him up. He hadn’t done anything to make The Second pissed off at him had he?
Two hours later his shift ended. Junsu shut down the computer, locking the drawers and turning off the lights by the staff desk. From the corner of his eyes, he saw that Changmin hadn’t moved. The dominant was still sitting in the same chair and reading the same book, although he was now nearing the book’s final chapters. Unsure of what to do, Junsu cleared his throat. “I’m done.”
Changmin looked up from the book. He nodded once, put the book back on shelf and walked towards Junsu. They got into Changmin’s car and drove back. Neither of them spoke, making the situation became more awkward.
Junsu fidgeted in his seat. He didn’t have anything to do than just sitting there while Changmin drove. The heavy atmosphere wasn’t helping at all and so his brain started to conjure back all the memories. It always began with the taunting voices, laughing at him because he was naked and the others were not. He was on his hands and knees while the others stood tall. Junsu could see the mocking faces that smirked at him, waiting for the Alpha to show up and claimed him so that the others could do too.
Then the Alpha would arrive. He would tug on Junsu’s hair, forcing him to swallow his cock and then he would fuck him. The others would then cheer; some were already stroking their cocks because they knew it would be their turn soon.
Unconsciously Junsu began to tremble, the memories seemed so real now that he wasn’t doing something, anything that can take his mind off it. His breathing grew heavier and Junsu didn’t see Changmin look at him questioningly. He could only see his old pack members circling around him, their hands touching his naked body. A body that was not even his own. He was theirs, a toy to be played with and sex was the game.
How many cocks had breached his body? How many cum had he swallowed? How many times had that whip cut through his skin? Junsu whimpered. His Wolf was whining at the back of his mind but he couldn’t concentrate on it. Instead his old Alpha’s words replayed itself: disgusting submissive, not worthy of anything except being a body to fuck.
Suddenly somebody touched his body for real and the first thing Junsu did was scream.
-End of Chapter Eight-
Chapter Nine: The Losing Battle
Chapter Seven: The First Step
Chapter Six: The Point of No Return
Chapter Five: The Defiance
Chapter Four: The First Hunt
Chapter Three: The Mate
Chapter Two: The New Pack
Chapter One: The Rescue
The Prologue
The Foreword