the year of auditory hallucinations is upon us. repent.

me can't sleep. me play joke. me and kate moss do some coke. but that not the only thing we do. me and kate moss shoot up, too!

my neighbor got wireless, so now i have it ( Read more... )

speaking feels like a chore. can't listen to music (until now).

it's fairly therapeutic. i've been doing  this faux meditation my whole life. i recommend it. i also ate a fancy cupcake. that helps, too.

if i'm having a nervous breakdown or something, this is the most peaceful nervous breakdown of all times.

i'm having a hard time coping with the ( Read more... )

i spent all day on friday at natalie's apartment (she works from home). she took me to an Elle photoshoot and to her friend's apartment and brought me along on errands. She brought me to a hip-hop party friday night (VIP, naturally). Saturday, she instructed me to watch TV or read her books while she slept. I did. I didn't leave. Finally, around 3 ( Read more... )

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i am at lauren's apt. i had a fantastic 2 hour interview today. i had a happy morning and daddy gave me some money. then i saw two fatal accidents on i-78. a morose song came on my iPod...and there i was, crying on the bus. interview was happy happy happy. writing test went well. blah blah. on the 4 train to lauren's...fighting back tears again.

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sometimes i want to punch myself in the face for being so selfish and acting as a sullen teenager would act. considering what human beings as a species have had to overcome throughout history and are still having to overcome all around the world as we make each other's lives miserable. but i still feel like my life isn't fair. and i'm really angry ( Read more... )

i am very sad today. it's the same thing i'm always sad about. when is this going to end? i am doing it to myself? i wish i could go away.

*obviously edited to protect privacy of sender...no, i will never reveal who s/he is because s/he would kick my ass if s/he even knew i posted it here. oh well. maybe not. whatevs.

[relationship stuff i can't go into here...] being in a relationship, and being content, makes it easier to identify the other things in your life that are lacking and ( Read more... )