Virginity, or the lack thereof

[freespirit_me]

 Hi there!

So, I gave up my virginity a couple weeks ago.  I've grown up in a Christian household where premarital sex is a definite no-no and my parents still think that I'm a virgin, and give me 'rules' about how to stay 'safe'.  Last year I flirted with the idea that premarital sex is okay, and my own religious views have changed a lot, but I

Comments

[kayla1906]

I am not married and have no intention of doing so; thus' I may not be the best one to answer your question. I do think many of us make our own problems, we listen to what others tell us, go out and do what we wanted to do in the first place, the we fell bad because we did not follow the other person. Many times we forget times change, the world is not the same today as it was when your mother was your age, and it was not the same for your mother as it was for her mother. The circumstances your mother faced were different then the circumstances you faced. So in many ways you are comparing apples and oranges. Today we have relatively reliable forms of birth control, this has not always been so women who had sex outside of marriage were much more likely to get pregnant. This caused them to be looked down on because women did not generally support them self and had to rely on a man. Men did not want to marry a woman who came with a child so sex before marriage was pretty much a taboo. To back all of this up religion entered the

[lorigrrl]

Sex really is a precious think to share with someone. I'm married and I don't think there is anything wrong with doing it outside of marriage though I have flipped back and forth throughout my life. My concern with your post is that it kind of sounds like you're in a relationship with someone who may be pressuring you when you weren't really ready yet. Don't beat yourself up over doing something with someone you care about, with your own body. You shouldn't feel guilty about something you did based on how someone else would see it. Just be careful not to go faster than you're ready to. That's the only regret I have, making decisions i wasn't really ready to make. You didn't do anything wrong. It's okay.

[kisekileia]

It's okay. I grew up in a home much like yours, and now believe sex before marriage is OK, but haven't yet been in a situation where I had the opportunity to have sex and wanted to do it. I'm sure I will do some second-guessing once it happens, but I think that happens most of the time when one makes a major life decision in a way that goes against intense social pressure. Just remember that many people do have sex before marriage, marry, and don't regret their actions at all. I have a friend in that situation who both fully supports premarital sex and says that sex with your husband is better, actually :).

[emelsilub]

It's OK - it's better than OK.

[loopyzany]

I had sex with my husband before we were married. I don't regret it a bit. We took things slow, had sex when I was ready, and took precautions. I just didn't tell my mom, because even though she had premarital sex, she's pretty vehemently against it and raised me to believe that it was about the worst thing a person (especially a woman) could do. It just saved me a lot of headache to let her believe (I didn't lie, just didn't share) that I was a virgin bride. You may want to share, to let your mom know that you're beliefs are different, or you may not. Either way, don't take her guilt on yourself. Feel guilty if you've actually done something wrong, not because you disappointed someone else. We are the only ones who are responsible for our actions.