Virginity, or the lack thereof
Hi there!
So, I gave up my virginity a couple weeks ago. I've grown up in a Christian household where premarital sex is a definite no-no and my parents still think that I'm a virgin, and give me 'rules' about how to stay 'safe'. Last year I flirted with the idea that premarital sex is okay, and my own religious views have changed a lot, but I came back to believing what they said because it was easier and safer. I got into my first-ever relationship in March. I went into the relationship somehow assuming that there would be no sex until marriage, and even when my bf asked, I said no. He is experienced and didn't want to, but said he would wait for me. Obviously, I gave in to my own very strong sexual desires. I worked through everything and talked to some women I trust a lot, and felt very comfortable with everything. And until this morning when I woke up, I had no regrets over the sex and sexual activities I've had now. My boyfriend and I love each other very much, and he's been so gentle and wonderful with me. Everything is great. But for some reason this morning all I can think of is my Mum sitting in front of my and crying over her own past premarital sexual experiences and her deep regret. Her saying how even if it's wonderful and glorious in the moment, you fall into a 'pit' afterwards. I realized when she talked about this, that it didn't make sense because she was feeling guilt because of a religious background that prohibited what she had done, and other people I knew who did not have thos prohibitions in their lives were very happy that they had experienced sex before marriage, and even with many partners.
So... I guess what I'm asking is for some encouragement and thoughts, especially from someone who is married or in a long-term partner relationship who had sex before that. I just need someone to tell me it's okay.
Thanks!!!
x-posted to vaginapagina
So, I gave up my virginity a couple weeks ago. I've grown up in a Christian household where premarital sex is a definite no-no and my parents still think that I'm a virgin, and give me 'rules' about how to stay 'safe'. Last year I flirted with the idea that premarital sex is okay, and my own religious views have changed a lot, but I came back to believing what they said because it was easier and safer. I got into my first-ever relationship in March. I went into the relationship somehow assuming that there would be no sex until marriage, and even when my bf asked, I said no. He is experienced and didn't want to, but said he would wait for me. Obviously, I gave in to my own very strong sexual desires. I worked through everything and talked to some women I trust a lot, and felt very comfortable with everything. And until this morning when I woke up, I had no regrets over the sex and sexual activities I've had now. My boyfriend and I love each other very much, and he's been so gentle and wonderful with me. Everything is great. But for some reason this morning all I can think of is my Mum sitting in front of my and crying over her own past premarital sexual experiences and her deep regret. Her saying how even if it's wonderful and glorious in the moment, you fall into a 'pit' afterwards. I realized when she talked about this, that it didn't make sense because she was feeling guilt because of a religious background that prohibited what she had done, and other people I knew who did not have thos prohibitions in their lives were very happy that they had experienced sex before marriage, and even with many partners.
So... I guess what I'm asking is for some encouragement and thoughts, especially from someone who is married or in a long-term partner relationship who had sex before that. I just need someone to tell me it's okay.
Thanks!!!
x-posted to vaginapagina