On October 15th 2016 I arrived at Metheus's and Zoharra's place. I was relieved that they could ramble like normal left-brained people, because I seriously wasn't ready to dive into an emotional whirlwind the moment I arrived. I wanted time to feel them, to see them at the surface before diving beneath the waves. I didn't need much of that - ( Read more... )

This entry is continued directly from the last post. Please click here if you have not already read the previous post.( Read more... )

"Before I was coming to you as a traumatized child. I was begging you to be my abuser - to hurt me so that I might believe you loved me," I said to Hibiscus. Two glasses of his home-made, home-grown wine graced custom-cut coasters on either side of my bed. "But now I want you to drop all assumptions about what you know about my sexuality."
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In my ( Read more... )

As I read the letter from Hibiscus's parents the first time, my heart leaped into my throat again and again. No wonder Hibiscus is in such a mood, I thought. My chest felt like a black void where my heart should beat.
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How could they be so incredibly misguided? Well, I thought, since they have not asked, and even when they have, they have not ( Read more... )

Even if my relationship with Hibiscus ended sometime in the coming months, I knew that it would forever be an "era" in my life. It would forever be counted as a "success" in my book.
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Somewhere in January or February I'd crossed the line between, "an experiment," and a "success." I couldn't pinpoint a moment when it happened, but it was during the ( Read more... )

Hare arrived on Friday night.
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Saturday morning I went out with Hare and Hibiscus while Paladin slept. Why does he sleep all the time now?
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We bought groceries, including groceries for Hare. It was part of the agreement: She would teach workshops in Hibiscus's home at Silverstag Eco Hamlet over the weekend, and we would pay for her food, and ( Read more... )

Tuesday, March 1st 2016
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The flight leaving Sunnyland had been only a third full. I was able to have three seats to myself. I napped a little, laying across all three of them.
.When I woke I spent $2 on a pair of ear-bud headphones and did something I hadn't done in years. I watched a new movie. It was called Clueless. I choose it because of how ( Read more... )

February 15th, 2016
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It was Monday. I turned on the faucet and began filling the bathtub. I was bathing much more frequently, smoothing out my skin and relaxing my muscles. I wanted to be as perfect as I could be for Nelum when I arrived in Sunnyland.
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If he could actually afford me, I'd go on a cleanse. Being a concubine in truth would give me ( Read more... )

Themes & Subjects: Board Games, Attitudes, A Letter to Hibiscus's Father, Teal Swan's Videos, Paladin's Birthday
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Staring at Hibiscus across the table as well played a game of Gheos, I felt incredibly filled with my love and gratitude toward him.
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As the game progressed and Hibiscus was hard on himself for not excelling at the game, I felt my ( Read more... )

The morning of my birthday I woke and checked the time. It was around seven o'clock. Hibiscus won't be back from the airport for hours yet, I thought. I went back to sleep and woke again around ten o'clock. I dressed in my "wasabi dress" - a custom-made organic cotton dress I had ordered off of Etsy with the money Hibiscus gave me for Christmas.
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I' ( Read more... )