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12-23-09
Soo I am going to upload some pictures I took of myself on my phone today..I've never uploaded pics on Livejournal..only Facebook. SoOo we finally got our internet goin, Rafic had to make 5 trips to Best Buy to get the right router n stuff and one that correctly fit to Steve's (our upstairs roommate) computer and ours... I love our computer...it's ( Read more... ) -
December 21, 2009.
So.. Okay, I was going to start this entry off about how tired I am...and woe is me, UNTIL I look over at the middle eastern man to my left that's on Computer #4 ( I am at the library, can't wait til' we get our computer this week for Xmas..Mac Desktop, hell yes..) picking his nose...it's like there are 24 people around here all on computers and he ( Read more... ) -
06/19/09
It's raining outside........I like the rain. Today, I guess better than yesterday. . . I guess. I had to delete Rafic's mom off of my facebook friends list. My sponsor suggested that it was the only way I truly can disconnect and move on from the situation. Which if later down the road, when I'm more healthy, then I can reconnect with her. I am ( Read more... ) -
Goodbye.
I'm done with my silver spoon.
I've realized there's just no room.
I'd rather spit in my reflection,
then draw back waiting for my resurrection.
I realize you're always there for me,
But you take more than you give to me.
There are no cells left up to fight,
there are too many things to make right,
you blinded me with your ecstasy,
until I was without you,
( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I'm exhausted.
That is what I am. Mentally, physically, spiritually. It's self-inflicted. I know... I can't do for what he wants me to. I don't have time or the means. I am so wishey-washey right now that I can't stand myself. I need to choose and go. Choose and go. -
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Soo just as I was ending my last post...he called......................... it was bittersweet. He wil be gone for 30 days. After that he will be in a halfway house. I'm sure he will be encouraged to stay away from me, soo I should listen to Gretchen, I will answer his phone calls. Now, I need to do this on my own.......I feel awful his parents ( Read more... ) -
Sad.
I'm really depressed today, but I want to endure it. Not doing anything unnatural. Really register why and move on from it. Rafic is in Detox, it's making me really sad.....his phone only beeps when you call it, which I don't know if that means it's suspended or changed. He said he would not leave me, and now I'm beginning to wonder if I sounded ( Read more... ) -
kick rocks.
How do i let go....?? I have no clue....me, who prank calls just to hear his voice...lol ---i finally got over my first heartbreaker, one that was there everyday for four years....and a touch longer......a new one...and one that thinks i wont leave....i tell him i will, then i stay...he thinks im in love with him, that i get jealous and that iw ant ( Read more... ) -
Revelations---
So I just sat and read all of my entries that I had stored. Today was the first time someone on this web site commented about my journal. I really never considered that other people may actually read it. . . . it striked my interest though, because I know that I am a sickly, repetitive, individual in my entries...and though I write the same ( Read more... )