12-23-09
Soo I am going to upload some pictures I took of myself on my phone today..I've never uploaded pics on Livejournal..only Facebook. SoOo we finally got our internet goin, Rafic had to make 5 trips to Best Buy to get the right router n stuff and one that correctly fit to Steve's (our upstairs roommate) computer and ours... I love our computer...it's been forever since I had the internet, well since I lived at my mom's. So like August or September? I don't remember when I moved in her exactly. Anywho.. Yeah the Mac is the bomb dizzle.
So I had a moment a little bit ago, I saw my stepsister's Facebook and it interested me because she looks so pissed in her picture, I went to her wall and there were pictures of Gabi on it, that she tagged herself in ( my stepsister not Gabi obviously) I didn't know she did that. So I started looking at them, and it made me really sad. I used to be a person who would hold in my tears, OR if I knew I was going to cry about something, I would save it for when I'd be around people and it was the climax of whatever we were going through and then I'd cry. I used to be soo diassociated with my emotions, I could never cry. Even when something would happen that would be a normal situation to cry over, I couldn't. So when I would finally work one up I would wait til' the perfect moment. I was such a sick person the past few years. Now though, crying comes naturally, I have no problem doing it, and it comes at appropriate times. And the pictures of Gabriella were appropriate, she was doing well in them, man she was a fighter. I was with her all day everyday while she was here. Everything does change when you have children, everyone says that but you never really understand until you have one. I had an unconditional love for her, still do. It's like instantaneously you love them.. True Love at first sight. I've never experienced anything like it.
I'm trying so hard to read more and more of my book, "Heaven", but I can't seem to do it. like I get really bad ADD and I think about moving the bookmark scrolling through each line to read faster, then I think about what Rafic's doing, it's not like that with all books though, when I like a book I get consumed by it, but it's just not happening with this one, BUT, I really like it...I really like the information, it's to educate one on what Heaven is truly like. It uses scriptures from the Bible as it source...but it just feels like I'm still at where they are telling you why it's so important to know what to expect when you arrive in Heaven, and where in so many places in the Bible it says one should be educated on what Heaven's like, so maybe the beginning is a little slow, so I'm going to trudge through it... I am only on pg. 20 so.. lol
And, I sprained my wrist...So I haven't been able to journal comfortably the past 3 days. Without writing I don't know what to do with myself. And the only internet I have is on my phone WELL UNTIL NOW! : ) So.. I couldn't get on the web without going to the library. Bah hum bug... well, going to upload some pics...and research how to change my background and really get familiar with this..I like it better than Facebook...it's more private and you can display more of yourself on it...with your page decor n everything.. and go to this Allure.com site and sign up for FREE STUFF! Tomorrow start Rafic's family business for the Holidays..to the Casey's .. Rafic has gotten me good gifts, the Coach Purse, He took me major shopping last weekend, the Volvo..and shh he doesn't know it but my cousin told me he told her he got me an iPod, a purple ( favorite color ) Nano...what I wanted. He's been playing it off so well that he didn't get me one... : ( I had a feeling he did, but then he was really making me sad thinking he didn't get it..so I had to ask my cousin and she just straight told me lol...little bugger. I'm such a baby... Happy Holidays to all......and Merry xMas!! I'll write in the morning... <3
So I had a moment a little bit ago, I saw my stepsister's Facebook and it interested me because she looks so pissed in her picture, I went to her wall and there were pictures of Gabi on it, that she tagged herself in ( my stepsister not Gabi obviously) I didn't know she did that. So I started looking at them, and it made me really sad. I used to be a person who would hold in my tears, OR if I knew I was going to cry about something, I would save it for when I'd be around people and it was the climax of whatever we were going through and then I'd cry. I used to be soo diassociated with my emotions, I could never cry. Even when something would happen that would be a normal situation to cry over, I couldn't. So when I would finally work one up I would wait til' the perfect moment. I was such a sick person the past few years. Now though, crying comes naturally, I have no problem doing it, and it comes at appropriate times. And the pictures of Gabriella were appropriate, she was doing well in them, man she was a fighter. I was with her all day everyday while she was here. Everything does change when you have children, everyone says that but you never really understand until you have one. I had an unconditional love for her, still do. It's like instantaneously you love them.. True Love at first sight. I've never experienced anything like it.
I'm trying so hard to read more and more of my book, "Heaven", but I can't seem to do it. like I get really bad ADD and I think about moving the bookmark scrolling through each line to read faster, then I think about what Rafic's doing, it's not like that with all books though, when I like a book I get consumed by it, but it's just not happening with this one, BUT, I really like it...I really like the information, it's to educate one on what Heaven is truly like. It uses scriptures from the Bible as it source...but it just feels like I'm still at where they are telling you why it's so important to know what to expect when you arrive in Heaven, and where in so many places in the Bible it says one should be educated on what Heaven's like, so maybe the beginning is a little slow, so I'm going to trudge through it... I am only on pg. 20 so.. lol
And, I sprained my wrist...So I haven't been able to journal comfortably the past 3 days. Without writing I don't know what to do with myself. And the only internet I have is on my phone WELL UNTIL NOW! : ) So.. I couldn't get on the web without going to the library. Bah hum bug... well, going to upload some pics...and research how to change my background and really get familiar with this..I like it better than Facebook...it's more private and you can display more of yourself on it...with your page decor n everything.. and go to this Allure.com site and sign up for FREE STUFF! Tomorrow start Rafic's family business for the Holidays..to the Casey's .. Rafic has gotten me good gifts, the Coach Purse, He took me major shopping last weekend, the Volvo..and shh he doesn't know it but my cousin told me he told her he got me an iPod, a purple ( favorite color ) Nano...what I wanted. He's been playing it off so well that he didn't get me one... : ( I had a feeling he did, but then he was really making me sad thinking he didn't get it..so I had to ask my cousin and she just straight told me lol...little bugger. I'm such a baby... Happy Holidays to all......and Merry xMas!! I'll write in the morning... <3