I'll say something that you won't accept

but which I want people to believe

oh, stop being so boring Morrissey..

I want people to know that almost everything that

concerns them in their daily lives is of no

consequence whatsoever. Nothing and

nobody is really important.

..nothing is important so people, realising

that, should get on with their lives, go ( Read more... )

in my scaredcrow dream

when they smashed my heart into smithereens..

this week and the last week.. well

horrible weeks. i had no will

no wish no energy no lifesource

to do anything although i had to do so much

i took my last ritalin pill on sunday

and it was the best working day i had in quite a while

so i decided

to have drugs for breakfast today..

( Read more... )

i think

tonight something sank in

i realized that we really do not know each other

and that i really do not know that person

we have no thing and no reason why

we should call each other friends

so all this time he probably knew

but i kept clinging to my illusions


( Read more... )

( Read more... )

I find shelter in this way, 
under cover, hide away..

es ist schon der 3. Januar.. drei Tage, die ich irgendwie verschlafen habe.. oder durch die ich mich irgendwie..

hindurch gefressen hab..

egal.. morgen ist ein neuer Tag.. heute fress ich noch, und heute lieg ich noch.. morgen..

morgen, dann..

it's just a day like every other day

it's just a number that changes

nothing else

so why should i write a special entry for that one day?

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i was gonna write a post about how

how different i am now

what a better or a worse person i was a life ago

and however i was, being indifferent like i am now, is just worse in every case..

and then i read what i wrote two years ago..

"und ich will alle gefühle abtöten, will keine mehr haben."

maybe, somehow, it all really happened that way..

whatever ( Read more... )

i didn't sleep last night. exam preparations needed to be taken care of. also, the ritalin worked really fine.
until all of a sudden i fell asleep in the train for about 15 minutes straight. then i woke up and it was as if it never even happened.

yesterday - one of the creative side effects of procrastination - i started making these random, short ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

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