Oh hey, I have a Live Journal...

January. What did I do with you January? I vowed in the closing moments of 2010, at least when there wasn't some right proper snogging going on, to make 2011 the year when I really got back on the horse. Back to old form, like I was from 2000-2006, where it was all progress, all the time. I used to wake up every morning ready to kick ass and chew ( Read more... )

What the hell is it with some families? Or, from my experience, most families. At least families so unlucky as to have ambitious, creative children with big dreams and a ton of potential ( Read more... )

***flops down on his bed, grabs the remote, turns on the TV***

Two and a Half Men:Charlie: Alan, I have a young and possibly underage girl upstairs whose name I don't even know but I'd really like to have vulgar sex with, so I'd appreciate it if you and your mongoloid child would stay out of my way and not ruin my life ( Read more... )

On December 25th, before any meals were eaten, before any excuses could be made, I found my way to a scale and boldly stepped forward into discovery. And creaking metal. And a little bit of "You've got to be kidding me ( Read more... )

"Has this ever happened to you? You go to type on your computer keyboard and then realize too late, UH-OH, that's actually the surface of a ridiculously hot hibachi grill! Then you need HeadLight, the world's first halogen light insulated well enough to be affixed directly to your forehead! Experience visibility like never before ( Read more... )

The wheel is moving again. I suppose it's only a matter of time now until we find out if I'm pushing it, or tied to the front of it ( Read more... )

I think Facebook may be killing my brain. And not because of the relentless Farmville spam, either, although I seem to have finally locked that down Cuban trade embargo style. People can feed their own damn chickens, it doesn't seem like the sort of activity that would require neighbors ( Read more... )

I need to force myself to write in this thing more often. Even if it's just inane babbling. I mean, christ, I've re-read what I wrote from my cubicle in New York. Did the world really need to know the only reason I wear pants is so I can have pockets? Probably not. But there it was anyway. I need to find that liberated way of thinking about this ( Read more... )

I am a gaming whore. I readily admit that. I will go just about anywhere and put up with just about anyone for a good night of gaming. But don't let that give you the impression that I'm cheap. No sir, I'm not one of those gussied up UNO players or, heaven forbid, one of the Go Fish types. I require some sophistication to my games. The more ( Read more... )