My life is on the verge of something. Inside, an inexplicable need to get away from people I've always thought I'd want close to me. All I've ever done was put my faith in others, never in myself. This must change.

Went for a run with City yesterday around his neighborhood. Afterwards, I decided it might be best never to mix endorphins with an inexplicable need to kiss someone ever again.

I don't know why, but lately I've been telling myself that the idea of being with someone is usually ten times better than the reality. No doubt 90% of our emotional ( Read more... )

Okay, so the tryst with Gold was regrettable, but for what it was, I definitely missed having someone close again. Skin against bare skin. The breeze felt soft. Liberating. While the fireflies made their lazy patterns in and out of the trees and tall grass, I closed my eyes and felt passionate about everyone and everything ( Read more... )

I'm walking along the beach when the sky is a silent steel, and I think about proximity.  The sand is vacant in all directions, the water runs into little pools where my feet fall.  Staring back at me to the south is a gunmetal cloud. Too close.  It's dangerous to be here, on the shore, in the face of a storm, but here I know I am alone in my ( Read more... )

A part of me (and I don't know how how big or small that part is) wants you to know that I'm okay with the fact that we're never going to understand each other.  I've never wanted it to seem like I expected something in return.  And yet I want to believe that you still keep the things I've given you in a special drawer or box.  It's not easy trying ( Read more... )

There are some things I try so hard to understand ( Read more... )

when i feel the way i'm feeling, i tend to read all my old entries from here. and when i do, i'm always amazed by how quickly my life, my problems, and my relationships are evolving ( Read more... )

Hahaha but I'm not single this time!  It's funny, because last year I was, yet I vaguely remember being okay with it.  Of course, that was when Pbroph and I were buds. I felt loved then. Adored, even ( Read more... )

fuck halloween ( Read more... )

I haven't had a bad day in a long time ( Read more... )