feeling black and orange
fuck halloween.
i don't need this.
this excuse to let go go crazy yeah get wasted no one to tell you what to do lets rub up against each other make me feel good happy excited dont think about whats going to happen tomorrow and you dont need to hold yourself back at all and its great because everyone's too caught up to realize that what you're really trying to do is vent out the worst of the week - and deep down you love it because no one cares in the end that you leave the party feeling like it shouldn't have ended so soon but you were so out of it anyway and the sleep you got that night was the best you've had in a long time.
god i'm so tired of everything.
i wish people weren't so two-faced. i wish they meant the things they said. i wish the process of moving on was easy and that past mistakes were forgiven if they can't be forgotten. i dont want to be the only one that cares, the only one that can see the whole thing is crashing into a million tiny pieces like shards and shards of glass you cant put it back together but still theres a chance that time will make things easier so that life can move on. but i was never good at waiting.
and forgetting is better. because we all know what happens when we oh god remember what used to be good. and then we try to hold it all in, try to keep it forever in the back of our minds in the little notes in the old presents in the fucking pictures we took where the faces are touching and happy and they smile and they have no idea that things will change so fast... because it doesnt take more than a few seconds for reality to fuck with your mind again with the unspoken words, the white-hot malice behind the smiles. i'm scared of the day i'll realize that everything i care about is based on false promises and half-truths.
there has to be more to high school than this.
i don't need this.
this excuse to let go go crazy yeah get wasted no one to tell you what to do lets rub up against each other make me feel good happy excited dont think about whats going to happen tomorrow and you dont need to hold yourself back at all and its great because everyone's too caught up to realize that what you're really trying to do is vent out the worst of the week - and deep down you love it because no one cares in the end that you leave the party feeling like it shouldn't have ended so soon but you were so out of it anyway and the sleep you got that night was the best you've had in a long time.
god i'm so tired of everything.
i wish people weren't so two-faced. i wish they meant the things they said. i wish the process of moving on was easy and that past mistakes were forgiven if they can't be forgotten. i dont want to be the only one that cares, the only one that can see the whole thing is crashing into a million tiny pieces like shards and shards of glass you cant put it back together but still theres a chance that time will make things easier so that life can move on. but i was never good at waiting.
and forgetting is better. because we all know what happens when we oh god remember what used to be good. and then we try to hold it all in, try to keep it forever in the back of our minds in the little notes in the old presents in the fucking pictures we took where the faces are touching and happy and they smile and they have no idea that things will change so fast... because it doesnt take more than a few seconds for reality to fuck with your mind again with the unspoken words, the white-hot malice behind the smiles. i'm scared of the day i'll realize that everything i care about is based on false promises and half-truths.
there has to be more to high school than this.