"Yo! I'm outside. Let's go."

He sounds detached, impatient, but I hang up with a bright, "Be down in a sec," and grab boots, shirt, keys, head out the door, canter down the four flights of stairs. Davy is waiting for me on the bench. I stare at him for a second, admiring the lamplight halo around his mouse-brown hair. "It's nice tonight," I offer ( Read more... )

I wish you could have felt what it was like for me, to have to stand there and tell the truth and see it all change - see everything good and pure drain out like water from my hands.

( more )

 And although there's pain in my chest I still wish you the best with a... fuck you-uu.

Spring IBN almost made me wish I never joined this team.  Almost.  When we started singing (to the seniors), it felt like someone was ripping my heart out.  Someday, when it's their turn to come back, I hope they'll be pleased with how proudly we've carried on ( Read more... )

I'm afraid my winter break won't be relaxing at all. I don't really want to go home. Not for an entire month. I mean I miss the house, my friends, the beach, etc., but my parents and I don't really get along and I just feel like going home is going to be a ridiculously depressing experience. I've been so weighed down by complicated ( Read more... )

I can't write about this anymore. I'm done trying to figure it out. All I wanted was to be able to act accordingly to how you feel so that I wouldn't do anything I'd regret or get into something you didn't want. But I guess I'll never really know? And what about what I want?

I didn't care when he dragged me by my skirt to the top of the slide, when he pushed me down so hard I crashed onto dry wood chips. And when the school nurse soaked my bloody palms in antiseptic and tweezed out four splinters and she asked me who did it I didn't tell her because my insides were silently screaming for more of his enigmatic ( Read more... )

Today, out on the autumn road, where the asphalt dipped low into the valley and a stiff sky met vermilion canopies, I thought about all the purest frustrations children fumble with. All those schoolyard hang-ups that left us feeling miserable and divine all at once... that first crush... the one that brought the first, clean, unadulterated pains ( Read more... )

I have gone through the motions of today without once straying from the clearly defined and easy-to-read itinerary I write for myself at the start of each morning. For the places I'll need to go and the things I'll have to do, there is a time and a good reason ( Read more... )

I could name them all, write them down, keep the paper in my pocket as a somber reminder of the loves I failed to face. When I was fourteen, and my affection still clumsy, I'd walk that line between What We Are and What We Could Be with the kind of fearlessness only ignorance could trigger. There were impulses, yes. Always. But I let them wash ( Read more... )

I'm not sure if we were supposed to find each other again, but it's hard to ignore the idea that so many little things had to sync perfectly in the universe in order for him to show up at the right place at the right time.