Cry Little Sister Chapter 6
Title: Cry Little Sister (Taken from song by Gerard McCann)
Author: Legna_angeLs
Rating: NC-17, abuse, sex, language
Pairings: Benji/Joel
Summary: Sarah sets off a dark chain of events when she catches her 16 year-old brothers innocently enjoying a risqué magazine.
Disclaimer: Don’t know or own anyone. This is fiction and no money will ever be made from it.
Notes: Thank you for the reviews, the reads, and the feedback!
Chap 1 Cry Little Sister Chap 2 Thou Shall Not Fall Chap 3 A Last Fire Will Rise Chap 4 Behind Those Eyes Chap 5 Black House
Chapter 6 - Will Rock
“I’m sorry I got detention, Benji,” Joel sighed as the cold October air burned his face. “You could have taken the bus. You didn’t have to wait on me.”
“You always waited for me,” Benji smiled, pulling his thread-bare coat tighter.
It had been 3 weeks since the night they had snuck back in and the power had been shut off. Somehow their Mom had managed to get the lights back on and thankfully, they’d seen very little of their Dad since then. Benji had thought a lot about everything that had happened and he begun to realize some hard truths. His parents and their archaic beliefs, were not what he believed. Sexual feelings were not some horrific sin that should be beat out of one’s body. God made the body to feel these things and Benji couldn’t believe that everything about that was wrong regardless of which sex you desired. He had even started to accept that, though he wasn’t gay like Joel, he was in fact bisexual.
Now if only he could reconcile his logic and morals with the new feelings he had for his brother.
Joel snorted, shaking his head after a couple minutes. “Benj, you rarely get detention. Hell the last time you had it was over a year ago.”
“Well I don’t feel the need to play games during class,” Benji teased, pretending to trip his brother. “Like you do.”
“Hey,” Joel retorted, trying to trip him back. “Notebook paper football is going to be big one day. I am not goofing off in class - I am on the ground-floor of what will be a major sporting franchise! I can’t help it if our English teacher fails to see my genius. Instead of praising me for being such a visionary, the bitch gives me detention!”
“I don’t know, Joely,” Benji smirks, as they turn the corner on to their street. “I think the reason she couldn’t ‘see’ it is that your paper football was caught in her glasses when you ‘kicked‘ that field goal.”
“True,” Joel smiles, shifting his backpack. “But her detention notice distracted me long enough for Troy to score a touchdown and the little cheater won.”
“There’s always tomorrow,” Benji laughs, kicking a pebble on the sidewalk. “Just try not to get to detention this time during the rematch.”
“Oh I won’t,” Joel assured his brother as they neared their house. “I don’t want to lose again!”
Benji smirked and changed the subject. “So, how has Study Hall been lately?”
“Sucks,” Joel scowled darkly. “We can no longer get hall passes.”
“Why not?” Benji asked, surprised. He had tried to ‘catch’ his brother on and off for the last couple of weeks, sneaking off to have his daily jack-off session. So far, Benji had always missed him. Evidently, Joel hadn’t been going in the first place.
“A week ago, Eric skipped and the principal revoked our privileges in that class indefinitely,” Joel said glumly.
“That does suck,” Benji agreed. “Not much fun for you, huh?”
Joel shook his head. “I haven’t had ‘fun’ in over a week and I’ve been terrified of, um, dreaming.”
“Yeah,” Benji understood. “Same here. Mom always freaks when we do that, I mean what the fuck? It isn’t like we did it on purpose! We can’t help it if we stain…stuff.”
“And I’m sure cum is so hard to get out,” Joel said in a lowered voice and they both laughed.
“I wish it was warmer,” Benji said after a few more steps down the sidewalk. “We could go camping again.”
Joel slowed down and looked at him. “You want to go to The Cave?”
“It’s too cold,” Benji grimaced. “But yeah, if it weren’t for that, I’d be down with it.”
Benji kept walking but Joel went slower. “What’s up?”
“I just didn’t think you wanted to go there anymore,” Joel said, halting altogether.
Shifting uncomfortably, he answered his twin. “Well it’s not like we can today so let’s just drop it.”
“Okay,” Joel’s eyes dropped to the ground and he walked up beside his brother. Silence settled over them and they both felt awkward with the other.
“Listen,” Benji began. “I don’t want this to ruin our Friday night.”
“It won’t,” Joel assured him, but his eyes were sad. Looking at each other for a moment, some of the unease was swept away. “We’ll have a good weekend, Benj.”
“We will,” Benji smiled, but his felt sad too. “Maybe we can find time to talk about things. Especially The Cave, you know?”
“I’d like that,” Joel said sincerely. “I want everything to be cool between us.”
“Me too,” Benji sighed in relief. “We will definitely do it.”
“Agreed,” Joel grinned with his twin matching it. They turned in toward their house, all the tension evaporating with each step.
Benji stopped dead in his tracks in front of the driveway. “Joel, is that-”
“-Josh’s car!” Joel finished in excitement for his twin.
As if on cue, Josh opened the front door. “About time you got home, Twinkies. What happened? Miss the bus?”
Dropping their bags, both twins engulfed Josh in a group hug. “Josh! You‘re home!” Benji yelled, squeezing his big brother even tighter, Joel following suit.
“Ugh!” Josh hissed. “You little fuckers are gonna deafen me and kill me if you squeeze any harder.”
“We missed you,” Joel grinned adoringly, while he and Benji let go. “Life isn’t the same without you around. It feels so weird being at school and you aren’t there anymore.”
“I know,” Josh smiled back at them both, waiting for them to get their backpacks off the porch. “Now let’s get inside. No sense in us freezing our balls off out here!”
The three brothers headed to the kitchen, full of happiness at their reunion. Sliding into the breakfast nook, Joel asked, “So, why are you home? I thought we wouldn’t get to see you until Thanksgiving or Christmas?”
Josh smirked. “Well, it’s mid-terms and turns out we get a four day weekend at the end of each quarter. I happened to save a little money and I missed my bothersome little brothers, so I decided there was only one thing to do.”
Reaching into his wallet, Josh took out three items and threw them on the table in front of the twins. “What are these?” Benji asked, him and Joel picking them up.
“HOLY SHIT!” Joel yelled. “You got fucking tickets to the Beastie Boys?!”
“And you are taking…us?” Benji’s eyes widened in excitement.
“Nah, I thought I’d take Sarah and one her little friends,” Josh scoffed sarcastically with a huge smile. “I wouldn’t dream of taking anyone else but my Twinkies.”
“You know we still hate that nickname,” Joel laughed, jumping up to hug his brother again.
Hugging Josh as well, Benji snickered too. “But today, I think we will allow you to get away with it…Shorty.”
“Hey, I’m still your big brother, punk,” Josh smacked Benji with his fist in the arm. “Now get your sorry asses upstairs and get ready. We’re meeting a friend of mine, Nate, and we gotta leave in half an hour.”
* * * * * * * * * * * *
“California, Joel,” Benji whispered excitedly, as he stripped off his pants and got ready for bed. “That’s where all the great bands go and we are going to be one of the greatest, I just know it. We will rock!”
Joel smiled and pulled down the covers to the double bed. Benji had been going on and on ever since the concert had ended, about ‘their’ band. It had been a long time since Joel had seen his twin this happy. His energy was contagious and soon Benji had even Josh and Nate behind his crazy idea. In his heart, Joel knew his twin meant every word he said. Benji believed they could do the impossible.
And Joel believed in Benji.
“One thing about California,” Joel joked, as he lay down. “There isn’t any snow or ice in L.A.”
“Exactly,” Benji agreed seriously. “No more freezing our asses off! Although, Nate’s house, here, seems pretty warm tonight.”
“It was really nice of him to let us stay over,” Joel nodded, while Benji slid under the covers. “I don’t want to think about what would have happened if we’d gone home this late.”
Joel’s dark statement hung in the air. Turning on his side, Benji faced his twin. “Hey, don’t think about it okay? Just another year and half, then we are gone, Joel. We can take our band to Cali, and never look back.”
“Yeah,” Joel said his voice tinged with sadness as stared at the ceiling on his back. Benji fidgeted beside him and the bed shook. Smiling in spite of his melancholy, Joel turned to his side to look his twin in the face. “You aren’t sleepy, are you?”
“Not at all!” Benji whined. “I’m too keyed up.”
“I told you not to drink coffee,” Joel said dryly.
“Thanks for the ‘told you so’, Joel,” Benji snorted sarcastically. “What the hell do I do now though?”
“Go in the bathroom and rub one out,” Joel suggested with a yawn.
Benji gaped. “Joel, this is Josh’s friend’s apartment! I can’t do that in the bathroom!”
“Then stay still five minutes until I go to sleep and do it here,” Joel closed his eyes.
For several minutes, Benji was both still and silent. However, Joel knew his twin wasn’t doing it so he could sleep. He knew Benji wanted something. What is more, he was fairly certain as to what it was that he wanted, too. Slowly, he opened his eyes, meeting his twin’s steady gaze.
Trying hard to formulate words, Benji stared in his twin’s soul. Joel was reading his mind. His twin knew what he wanted, but his baby brother was going to force him to say it. Benji swallowed several times in an attempt to calm his nerves. He wanted this. His curiosity had increased over the last few weeks since the The Cave and he couldn’t stop the yearning he now had to be closer to Joel. This was the perfect opportunity. It might not come again for a very long time. Taking a deep breath, Benji made his decision.
“Um, do you…do you want to do it with me?” Benji asked Joel haltingly.
“Do what with you?” Joel asked forcing him to clarify.
Drawing in a shaky breath, Benji went for broke. “Do you want to get off with me?”
“No.”
“Oh,” Benji said in a small voice, rolling to his back. Before he could think or do anything else, he felt his brother’s body press heavily against his right side.
“I’d rather that we help get each other off, actually,” Joel whispered breathily in his ear.
“D-doing what?” Benji stuttered, shivers running down his spine from the moist, hot air expelled from his twin’s mouth.
Moving away from his twin, Joel lay back down, making sure they were no longer touching at all. “We can do whatever you want to do. Just one rule: no matter what we do, Benjamin, you can’t regret it when we wake up tomorrow. That means no telling me it was a ’mistake’, or ’sick’, or ’wrong.’ There are enough assholes in this world I am related to that are ashamed of me and I’ll be damned if I let you do it to me as well. So, think it through before you fucking do anything.”
The sound of his full name from Joel’s lips, turned him on even more. “I’m not ashamed of you, Joely.”
Vulnerable hazel eyes gazed at him. “It sure fucking felt like you were last time.”
“I know,” Benji agreed quietly. “I…I was confused and it was really difficult for me. It was easier for me to just rely on everything I thought I knew from our parents than to listen to the real truth.”
“You don’t think it’s been just as difficult for me?” Joel asked incredulously. “I’m gay! I’ve fought with that for a long time! Finally, I get the courage to break out and embrace my sexuality but it blows up in my face. My own twin freaks out after we experiment some together. It’s safe to say this hasn’t been a damned picnic for me either.”
“I apologized for all of that,” he reminded Joel, calming his baby brother a bit. Collecting his thoughts after a while, Benji hesitantly asked, “It didn’t bother you about the things we did?”
“No, it didn’t,” Joel answered honestly after a short pause. “To me, it felt right. Like for the first time, I was really alive.”
Benji could feel his twin’s words deep inside his soul. He opened his mouth to try and make him understand that, but his voice failed him. Locking his eyes with Joel, he knew what he had to do. Actions would speak louder than any words he could possibly form. Moving close to his twin, Benji lowered his head and let his lips ghost against his brother’s cheek. Placing soft, light kisses, he edged his way, deliberately, towards his twin’s mouth.
Joel trembled and ran his hands up his brother’s arms. Pulling gently, he brought more of his twin’s body on top of his own. He was so scared that Benji wouldn’t be able to handle this again. It would kill him if he got his first kiss from his older brother, only to have him regret it. This was a terrible risk. Yet, the passion and promise of possible paradise was too tempting for him to resist. Every kiss Benji gave, moving ever closer to his mouth, convinced him to gamble on his twin one more time. After all, it was this man that made life worth living for Joel. Letting his defenses fall, he allowed himself to take it all in and then give it all back to his other half, selflessly.
The increasing intensity of each touch between them, rocked Benji to his core. Never had he felt this close to another person. Everything he gave, Joel gave back in equal measure, no restraint. This was so much more than physical. Their eyes alternated between open and shut as their bodies melted into each other with every heartbeat. Something was building between them that transcended the natural: it was so much more than lust. With each kiss, the feeling accelerated until they arrived at their destination.
Stopping right at Joel’s lips, Benji murmured, “I want to feel alive with you.”
Their lips met, redefining their lives forever.