Somethings don't change. This feeling is one, will this journal help me like it did before? I am so confused yet again, and a lot of it is my fault. I just can't win. I hurt so bad. and I hate it all. I love him so much but can never seem to make him happy. I dunno I am lost.

Hmm, so today, today was a day.... nothing sticks out particularly, it all kinda blurs. I dunno if it is a good thing or a bad thing I guess it could go either way. I am handeling the europe thing better now, for the most part, i mean until I really think about it again and then I cant help but get a bit upset. It is hard for me to even comprehend ( Read more... )

Blah, yes blah i think that sums it all up. These last two weeks have sucked and they arent getting any better. I wish it would all stop and go back to normal. Normal, when Simon and I were fine, when we werent both trying to figure out if things were going to be ok between us. Normal, when he wasnt leaving for smelly Europe for a month, changing ( Read more... )

Its been a long few days. But I had one of the best days in my life yesterday if not THE BEST. We have been together one whole year well a year and a day now but yea, its still just as exciting. I got to see Bridget in Chicago SO AMAZING!!! Got in a fight that sucked, but things are mostly worked out now I believe. Might go out to night but not if ( Read more... )

Why for once cant I be the favourite. We were both ex-communicated, but when it was me it wasnt my fault I didnt do anything to deserve it. Niether did they but that isnt really what is believed. Then they are welcomed back with open arms, gets everything they once had, and still I am nothing. Once I would like to win. I hate being jelous of my ( Read more... )

Hmm what to say? Well I have been sick for the past little while, which sucks, I have had almost no voice.I didnt get to see any friends for 2 days and that includes simon. So today even though I still felt crappy I dragged my sorry butt into school just so I could see people again. Turns out it was a pretty good idea cause Simon came over after ( Read more... )

I am sick of people. I constantly feel like I am losing one person or another in my life. It sucks, I dont want to change stuff again. I hate this. I feel like people are sick of me and all the shit I bring along with me. I have pretty much gotten over my melodramatic ways, but sure there is still some stuff I just wont stand for. I dunno what to ( Read more... )

Ever feel like you were a conditional friend. One that people only saw as a friend when they needed them. I seem to feel like that all the time. I have gone through a lot of friends it seems and a lot of people that I really cared about were only around when they needed me for support, sure there is the good few that I know that isnt true. One in ( Read more... )

Well as an atempt to make becca happy, as she has requested I post more I have come to post. Hmm what is new, well I am apparently moving this weekend, which sucks cause well it is only like 4 days away and I have exams and work this week. So pretty much all that is happenng is I have more stress then I really want to deal with and I cant do ( Read more... )

Hmm well I just looked at the other journals i wrote but i didnt read them so i dont even know the last thing i wrote about. Anyways life is fairly good. Simon and I just got past our 10 month mark. Tonight is new years eve and I get to be with him, I am kinda worried about being at his house cause these types of things at his house make me ( Read more... )