(no subject)
Hmm, so today, today was a day.... nothing sticks out particularly, it all kinda blurs. I dunno if it is a good thing or a bad thing I guess it could go either way. I am handeling the europe thing better now, for the most part, i mean until I really think about it again and then I cant help but get a bit upset. It is hard for me to even comprehend that he is gonna be gone in three weeks, and that I wont see him for five weeks after that, will I get to hear his voice, what will comfort me when i need him and cant have him. Will Benny be good enough to help me through everything or will he just remind me of him and make me more upset... will I have Berry and Tobias back or will they be in Europe too. Will he constantly be thinking of me like I will be thinking of him (I know it is a silly worry but I cant help it) I mean I wont be talking to him as much, I am use to talking to him everyday like twice a day and when he is gone I will be lucky to get a email or letter everyday, I wont feel his arms around me for a whole five weeks. I know that we can last and that all will be ok but I really rather just not do it. Prom is coming up though that is something to be excited about, I mean a whole night in his arms looking beautiful, and hopefully if all goes well the following weekend I will get to spend sleeping in his arms, a nice parting gift if you ask me. I dont want him to not think about me while he is gone, I dont want him having fun without me. I want to be with him, he is my fiancee and I am selfish.... MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!! Hmm any other events... YES becca's birthday was yesterday thatwas a lot of fun. I am happy to have her around, and it makes me happy that I have a friend like her, and I know she will help me in the summer, and hang out with me just because, not just to make me feel better. I am lucky really lucky I have a great boyfriend and some pretty amazing friends.. oh what would I do with out them?