Last night I wanted to write something, but I couldn't. The words wouldn't form in my head ( Read more... )

Well, I've finally got the net at my place. Which is a heaven-sent. It took a while to get it up and running, but I finally did it. All on my own, I might add. I'm so very proud lol. And doing that kinda encouraged me to get more stuff done. I've finally got my entertainment unit, my coffee table and my dining table up. I cleaned a bit of the room ( Read more... )

Dear Journal,

I've been reading The Secret Garden. It's a really beautiful story. I always liked the movie, but the book is a lot more real and just as enjoyable. It makes me want to discard all my materialistic ways and just understand life through the rawest of passions and loves. It makes me want to be a child again.

I got my tests back. My blood ( Read more... )

Dear Journal,

The doctors set me up for a bunch of blood tests and ultrasounds. They just want to know if they should be worrying more about what's wrong with me. However, the medication they've given me has really helped. I feel practically normal now.

The big news this week has been the end of a long, confusing time for me. The plan was to go to ( Read more... )

Dear Journal,

It's been probably the worst weekend of my life. I know that seems like an overstatement, but I'm fairly certain I'm not completely over-exaggerating. It's hard to explain how it was. My mind seemed out of my control, and I felt so helpless. It's one of the worse feelings I've ever felt. That lack of power over myself is really scary, ( Read more... )

Dear Journal,

I'm feeling a little better now. Not so hopeless. I'm taking my medication regularly now and it seems to have leveled me out. I've also found out why I've been so nauseous the last few months: it's this new anti-anxiety medication that my doctor put me on, and because I hadn't been taking it regularly, just on and off, it never ( Read more... )

Dear Journal,

I want to cut. I want to cut more than I've wanted to cut in a very long time.
My heart's beating faster in anticipation and the longing - the need...it's building up within me, like a flood of acidic bile bubbling hot inside my body, pumping furiously through my veins, getting hotter and more angry. I want to let it all out, to pull ( Read more... )

Dear Journal,
It's been quite a fortnight. My cousin and aunt were over for the first week, which was a lot of fun. My cousin and I talked a lot, just the two of us. I feel like our relationship has reached a better level, and I kinda like that. She's been the closest thing I've ever really had to a bigger sister in my life. We grew up together, ( Read more... )

Dear Journal,

9:13am
Ah, last school day of the week. I'm not going. I'm so horribly bludgey, but the last few days have been so scary. I get so anxious outside my comfort zone. I'm surprised my lip hasn't torn into shreds, because I bite it when I'm nervous and I've been nervous a lot.

My mother hurt Bella's foot, so now she's limping around the ( Read more... )

Dear Journal,

I found some french chocolate biscuits in my pantry...which is strange because we're not french and don't have easy access to french products.
They taste good though, mmmmm.

Well this first week back at school has been a little dramatic, but otherwise fine. The school part has been normal. But things have happened, during the course of ( Read more... )