28th August 2005
Dear Journal,
I've been reading The Secret Garden. It's a really beautiful story. I always liked the movie, but the book is a lot more real and just as enjoyable. It makes me want to discard all my materialistic ways and just understand life through the rawest of passions and loves. It makes me want to be a child again.
I got my tests back. My blood test was very good, everything was normal except my iron levels (because I don't like to eat red meat). I'm taking iron pills now to make up for it. The ultrasounds showed something that they believe may be a polycystic ovarian disease. I have to get another blood test to be sure, so I'll be getting that done, but otherwise it's all good news. My doctor is the best doctor I've had. He's thorough, informative, caring and perceptive. I'm disappointed that I won't be able to have him around when I go to Sydney.
Clint's been pretty sick lately. And during this time I've been thinking a lot about being with him and whether it's the best idea. I have so many doubts, and I know how much Ada hates him and all that, so I came to the conclusion that it would be best to tell him that it won't happen when I go down to Sydney. He wasn't happy, his voice went all dead and quiet. But he was really good about it. We talked for a long time and he said I didn't have to worry so much about the future, just enjoy the present. And I'm glad he said that because it's the future that was worrying me. We're taking it slow, he said, so it'll be a lot easier. I'm happier now. I feel more at peace. The only problem is I told Ada that it was over, and now I'll have to tell her otherwise. She's not going to be pleased. It kills me how much she dislikes him. I just wish she'd forget the past and be happy for me, like Jane and Tamsin.
I went out today with my sisters. We spent nearly the whole time out shopping together. I used to watch Charmed and think that there's no way 3 sisters could get along so well. But today, Steph, Jack and I had a great time. It was as comfortable as being with friends and just as fun. It was pretty cool. I guess it just surprised me how much fun I have with them sometimes. I'm going to miss that. I know for a fact that when I used to go to church with my family and my sisters and I were just hanging out, people would always comment about how amazing it was that we got on so well. I always just took for granted how similar we were, but then I see what other siblings are like and it makes me feel really lucky.
My study is coming along okay. I'm putting everything onto palm cards so I can study them on the train. I feel confident. Not very confident, but confident all the same. It's still 2 months until my exams start and I'm preparing, and following my study plan which will give me plenty of time to understand and know everything, so I think it'll be okay.
Anyway, lots of study to do now. And I've got class tomorrow.
Until next time...