i am starting to feel numb all over again. when i am not feeling numb, i a feeling like i am on fire. like my very soul is burning with the rage of 20 men. i am angry at everything again. nothing makes me happy, everything is a chore ( Read more... )

so the wife got paid last night. and sure, it was only one week worth of pay because we went down the shore, but it is about $100 short of what it took to put our little man into daycare. which means, we are $100 short of the next two weeks, we don't have the money for the electric bill. i am going to have to pay it, but i am not sure how i am ( Read more... )

so i brought my netbook to work with me this morning. i am proud to say that i have been able to recoonect the keyboard, and i am now able to post an entry on this ( Read more... )

is it just me, or is live journal a ghost town? I suppose there is something else keeping the kids busy these days. i myself am never reliable as a poster on here.

I suppose there is actually a bit of a draw for me to start posting, since no one will read it...

I think it is only fair that I post a somewhat happy post here ( Read more... )

i woke up this morning in a much bette mood than in the past. almost like things were just going away. of course i get an extra 2 hours before work today, so i decided to check facebook. i find a message from my sister appologizing. honestly, she can appologize until she is blue in the face, i don't give a fuck. i am trying to not let this ruin my ( Read more... )

i slept like crap last night. my throat is sore. but i woke up with that callus, numb feeling i was looking for. angry at everything and everyone. so angry, i just don't feel anything. fantastic. then i took a shower. i washed all that anger, all that pain away. i apologized to my wife for being grouchy, i smiled at the people on the train. today ( Read more... )

So I got a hold of Daycare for my boy. It is pretty much sucking up all the rest of the money I thought I was going to be having with the wife getting a job, but at least I am able to get out from having to have my mother baby sit all the time ( Read more... )

So I guess I need to come back to the land of the living. I really need to step out of my cloud that I have been in for months now. I don't know what has been going on with me, but I feel like I am falling appart at the seems and it is taking everything inside me to just stay together. I don't really know what it was that started it all ( Read more... )

So I moved. I live in Lansdowne, PA now. Today is the start of my second week here. It is much, much better then living at my parents house. For starters, I can watch TV, in my living room, naked. Its nice. Of course, I have to wait until after my son falls asleep so that I don't scar him for life. We are still living out of boxes, but that is ( Read more... )