Comments | kwritten: [flist hearts] seasons are weird and I miss them

kwritten

[flist hearts] seasons are weird and I miss them

Dec 24, 2014 23:45

Today I very officially told the people who need to know that I'm not staying in Thailand for a third year. This decision makes me inconsolably angry in ways that I can't hardly explain.( cut for general frustration and cathartic bitching )

feminism, eleonore why?, sometimes i channel taylor townsend, flist hearts, mormons are wacky, love the unloved ladies, my love is an ugly love, warrior women, lit is my life, meet me in ladprao, i am a baby dragon, fandom is my girlfriend, ya lit, meta, thinky thoughts, real life meets the internets, ladies, rl is rude, random thought, tmi: kelsey lives, teaching is love, personal post, academia = fandom

Comments 18

snogged December 24 2014, 17:21:23 UTC

*hugs you tight*

I'm sorry you have to leave your job in Thailand for completely justifiable reasons. I have no doubt that you'll find something else that's equally amazing and perhaps, easier to love.

On to Bella Swan...you're right. I don't like her. But I think it takes a lot of insight to admit that there are reasons to respect her role in literature. I agree that female characters should be loved for their existence.

Happy Holidays, my dear. Be well.

kwritten December 25 2014, 13:17:05 UTC

*hugs back*

It's so sad. A kid that I 'would' be teaching in grade six next year I managed to arm-twist into being in my Christmas dance this morning. After school he came into the office to chat with me (like he does most days, tbh) and said, "I'll be in your show next year, right?" I almost lost it. I made him promise he'd be in the show no matter what.

LOL Bella Swan is adorably unlikable.

Happy Holidays darling.

upupa_epops December 24 2014, 22:40:56 UTC

I just spent seven hours hanging out with my family, and I'm too drained to tell Amanda what I got for Christmas, let alone engage in intelligent conversation, but I love you bunches.

kwritten December 25 2014, 13:17:28 UTC

ilu sis

ceciliaj December 25 2014, 00:29:18 UTC

I hate that you're sad about leaving the job (but you know, you could easily be employed in Korea by the start of the new semester), but I loooove that you've finally fallen for Bella -- she is fab ( ... )

kwritten December 25 2014, 13:25:18 UTC

I love my babies so much, every day is like a stab wound straight to the chest thinking that I won't see them this time next year.

To be fair, I've loved Bella for a while - but I'm finally reading her book(s) on her terms instead of going in with my hackles up. You know?

Korea:
I love having all my communications with coworkers be through gestures and feeding each other fruit and rice cakes. OMG YOU UNDERSTAND ME *SOBS FOREVER* My favorite coteacher and I rarely ever speak even though she's fluent. Lots of giggles and arm-patting.

I really do want to look into Korea. Who did you go through to find the job? I'll be back Stateside in late March - should I be talking to someone before then? or can I wait until I get home?

I'm coming! I'm coming!

ceciliaj December 25 2014, 22:31:49 UTC

You don't need to rush to talk to anyone, but I would absolutely start researching. Teaching in Korea really rewards good preparation, I would say, especially because both western recruiters and Korean schools will tell you everything at the absolute last minute. By researching I mean reading message boards populated by current teachers (waygook, Dave's ESL cafe), to get a feel for the landscape, and also understanding your options -- public schools vs hagwons, etc ( ... )

ceciliaj December 25 2014, 22:36:11 UTC

Oh and I assume this is irrelevant, but you will have to take a comprehensive drug test when you arrive in Korea, so I was super careful about being around secondhand pot smoke. I probably didn't need to be, based on what other people in my orientation were saying, but better safe than sorry.

ever_neutral December 25 2014, 03:32:55 UTC

Sorry you/Thailand have to break up, man. I’m rootin’ for better future exploits for you, of course. {virtual whomps}

I WILL COME FIND Y’ALL IN KOREA ONE DAY.

I didn't like her when I read the novel at 22 because I OVER-IDENTIFIED WITH HER SO HARD I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO CONTAIN MYSELF.

Bro. THIS WAS ME. But at age 15. And I didn't go in disliking Bella but the crushing disappointment that was the last book transformed me into a such a homicidal tower of bitterness (half of which I directed towards Bella's character because I took it so personally -- not my finest moment) I couldn’t even talk about it for 500 years.

But chuckle chuckle @ how people hate Bella for her actual characterisation, i.e. that she’s an unlikeable hermit who thinks herself too good for her surroundings. That was me in high school, nbd nbd.

hating things that teenage girls love is something that we sometimes don't even notice that we are doing and will try to legitimize in every way possible - and THAT is why Twilight is so important. Because it's for teenage ( ... )

kwritten December 25 2014, 13:51:40 UTC

Sorry you/Thailand have to break up, man.
Yeah... me too. I'm more upset about it all the time.

I wound up feeling totally Betrayed by the narrative
I walked in the first time BETRAYED by the Narrative (and also - freshly disgusted with the fact that it was the Narrative my entire life up until that point had been aiming me towards) (ETERNAL LIFE ALEX DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND THE UNDERLYING MORMON BULLSHIT THAT THESE BOOKS REPRESENT) I didn't even give Bella a chance. So I finished book one today (for the second time) and I'm going to plug through. I know the Narrative will betray my love. But I'm going to hold on to Bella for as long as I can this time.

Sassy minx.

So… I’m in a weird place where I’m not on either the anti-Twilight bandwagon of White Feminism but nor can I personally say the series was a good experience for teenage!me. I can understand other young women feeling empowered by that ending; I wasn't one of them. Yeah... I'm sort of in a "Bella is fab, too bad about the books tho" ... which is where I also stand on ( ... )

scorpiod1 December 25 2014, 05:00:03 UTC

*holds you tight* I am so so sorry about having to leave your job and Thailand. I can't imagine how that must feel right now, and I'm so sorry you've been so lonely, but I hope South Korean ends up being better for you in the long run <3333

I honestly love Bella a lot. And it was a bit of a journey to figure that out tbh as well. I was the target age range when Twilight came out but I hated it then because, well, mainly because I was an asshole pretentious teenager--I had read a ton of vampire lit by the time Twilight came out and had been mocked or looked down for my reading choices then somehow everyone in my class was reading Twilight and recommending it to me while I was all ~I AM ABOVE SUCH THINGS LIKE TWILIGHT~ And for awhile, it was pretty easy to hate given how Twilight was general awful and abusive and terrible in a lot of legit ways. But you know what I realized? I think TVD is a lot worse to it's female characters than Twilight is, and TVD owned my heart for a long, long time ( ... )

kwritten December 25 2014, 14:11:42 UTC

BABE

*squish*

My hopes are on Korea - but if that doesn't work either, that's okay. I'll just keep moving until I find a place where I feel like I can tread water without fear of drowning.

mainly because I was an asshole pretentious teenager
BASICALLY THIS. Bella would like that about you.

And for awhile, it was pretty easy to hate given how Twilight was general awful and abusive and terrible in a lot of legit ways.
This wounds me daily. Most Narratives do.

And you're right, Twilight isn't for adults, but for teenage girls. And sometimes I worry about that, and the messages Twilight projects, but at the same time, the stuff teen girls like get so much shit all the time, get dismissed or mocked. Protect teenage girls at all costs, tbh.BASICALLY THIS ( ... )