Fic: One Day You're Gonna See Things My Way (Chapter 11)
Title: One Day You're Gonna See Things My Way (Chapter 11)
Authors: jazeycisdabomb and andrewluvsu
Pairings: Kradam
Disclaimer: NOT TRUE in the case of Adam and Kris. Based on a true story, but NOT them. Title is from 'A Day to Be Alone' by One Less Reason
Rating of this chapter: PG-13
Summary: Just another love story, but this one isn't filled with chocolates, butterflies, and fluffy bunny rabbits...though sometimes there are rainbows ;)
Warnings....lots of them: At times, this will be a pretty dark story...deals with domestic violence, rape, anorexia with a touch of bulimia, cutting, and death (but not of major characters). Also, since this is based on personal experiences, it may get pretty detailed and deep. It could be triggering. You have been warned!!!!!!
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10
"Rob, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, Kris. What's up?"
Rob was Kris's cousin-Bri's son-and he used to suffer from an eating disorder as well as Adam, until he met Alex, the love of his life.
"How'd Alex do it?"
"What do you mean?"
"Adam...he's perfect, but he...well, he's pretty much like you were, and he won't believe me when I tell him there's nothing wrong with him. So how did Alex get you to believe there was nothing wrong with you?"
"I still don't believe there's nothing wrong with me," Rob admitted. "There are still days when I want to go back to how I used to be, but I don't because I saw how much it hurt Alex, and when you're in love, the other person's happiness comes before yours."
"But you weren't actually happy when you were bulimic, were you?"
"Of course not, but I thought I was."
"Are you happy now?"
"Yes. Like I said, there are hard days, but yes, I'm happy."
"And Alex is the reason?"
"Yes."
"Then why can't I make Adam happy?"
"I'm sure you do, but healing takes time, and you haven't been together that long. Does he realize it hurts you?"
"Yeah, I think."
"Does he realize how much?"
"Probably not. I try not to let all my emotion out, because I want to be the strong one. I need to, don't I?"
"No. Show him how much it hurts. Are you in love with him?"
"Honestly...yeah. But, like you said, we haven't been together that long, so I doubt he's in love with me."
"He could be."
Kris shook his head. "No. He doesn't know enough about me, really."
"Have you talked to him about your past yet?"
"No."
"Tell him. If he's told you secrets about himself, do the same. He obviously trusts you. He needs to know you trust him."
"I do trust him. That's not the problem. It's just hard to talk about."
"I know, but I'm betting it was hard for him to admit his stuff to you."
"I'm sure it was, but I still don't know everything about him. Like, he lives with his brother, and I get that there is some problem with his parents, but he hasn't talked to me about it."
"And most likely he won't until he knows something about you, especially if it's about family because if he thinks my mom and dad are your mom and dad, then we probably seem like the perfect little family, and he won't want to admit his isn't."
"Okay," Kris sighed after thinking a minute. "As long as you think it will help."
"I know it will. Just don't expect immediate results."
"Okay. Thanks for the help, Rob."
"No problem, K. Good luck. I hope Adam gets better."
"Me too."
Kris planned on following Rob's advice, but the moment never seemed right. It could potentially be awkward if, out of the blue, he said, "Hey, Adam, just thought you should know that my parents are dead and I'm actually a year older than you think since I had to repeat a year of school because I was in a coma for five months." He knew he needed to tell him though, because he withdrew from Kris more and more every day. So, Kris decided to play a game.
"Hey, Adam, wanna play twenty questions?" he asked as they laid on the couch, only half watching TV. Immediately, he perked up.
"Sure."
"Okay. you can ask me something first."
"Are there any rules or restrictions?"
"Nope. Go as random or as deep as you want."
"Okay. Um...what do you love most about yourself?"
"Physical or personality?"
"Both."
"Physical: my hair. Personality: um...I'm nice I guess?"
Adam laughed. "You're very nice. Okay, your turn."
"Favorite childhood memory?"
Adam cocked his head to the side, thinking. Then, with a little smile, said, "Neil and I built a fort out in the backyard. I guess my favorite moment would be when we finally finished it."
Kris smiled. "Cute. Alright, you go."
They asked light, easy questions for awhile. Then, as was Kris's hope. Adam got deeper. "Worst day ever?"
Kris took a deep, silent breath. He could do this.
"Um...well...my dad and I were in a car wreck a little less than a year ago. I was in a coma for five months. The worst day ever was when I woke up and found out he was dead."
Adam sat straight up and stared at Kris, a mixture of horror, sadness and sympathy written on his face. Kris offered a little, comforting smile and Adam seemed to snap out of his daze. "Oh god, Kris, I'm so sorry..."
"Not your fault."
"So...was your mom already married to someone else when it happened?"
Kris knew he was thinking of his aunt and uncle and shook his head. "Bri's not my mom. Well, she is now, but not my biological mom. She died when I was thirteen from cancer."
The look came back on Adam's face. Kris gave him a kiss. "That's why I moved here. I was little orphan Krissy."
"That's...terrible. I'm so sorry."
"You don't need to apologize. Something good came from it."
Adam raised an eyebrow, confused, so Kris answered his unasked question. "You. If that didn't happen, I would have never moved here and never met you."
"Kris...I'm sure you'd trade knowing me to have your parents back. You don't have to-"
But Kris placed a finger on Adam's lips, hushing him.
"No," he said. "I wouldn't trade you for anything. Anything."
Adam gave him a little smile, but was teared up.
"Baby, what's wrong?" Kris asked.
"I had no idea! I've been so selfish, only worrying about my problems!"
"But you weren't. You tried to get me to talk before. I wouldn't. I couldn't. But I can now. You're the first person I've ever talked about it to. I never even discussed it with Bri or Uncle Jake."
His boyfriend gave a tiny smile. "Well, I hope you know you can talk about anything with me."
"I know. And you too."
"I think I already have!"
"Not really. My turn for a question."
"Okay."
"What's the deal with your parents?"
"They were abusive. Not to me, but to Neil, and he has always been my best friend. I hate them for what they did to him."
Kris nodded and kissed Adam's forehead. "Your turn."
"Are you okay?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean...are you okay? From the wreck, your parents...everything."
"Physically or mentally?"
"Both."
"Yeah, I'm pretty much okay. I get sad about it, of course, and I sometimes get headaches from the wreck, but neither is anything serious. Overall, I'm happy and healthy!"
"That's good."
"Mhm. My turn. Um...if you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?"
Adam thought for a minute before shocking Kris by not saying his body, or his freckles, or anything but, "My mind."
"Your mind?"
"Yeah. I'd make it see the truth, because the me I see obviously isn't the same me you see, and I want to know which is true."
"Mine is," Kris assured him.
"I'd make it see that...and believe it."
"I'll help you with that."
"I know," he said, and smiled. "Okay...are you a virgin?"
"No," Kris admitted. "I've had sex with one person."
"...Oh. Okay."
He sounded unsure.
"That's not all I'm after though, Adam. I'm not even after that at all."
"Promise?"
"I promise. We won't have sex until you're ready, and even if you're never ready, that's okay. I don't need sex. Just you."
He could tell Adam tried not to smile, but he failed. "Okay."
The topics became light again after that and a little while later, the game ended. Kris would definitely have to thank Rob later. It felt so good to get some things off of his chest, and Adam did seem to trust him more. Kris could only hope that helped him recover, because he knew at that point, that he couldn't lose Adam, especially not because of his own silly delusions.
Authors: jazeycisdabomb and andrewluvsu
Pairings: Kradam
Disclaimer: NOT TRUE in the case of Adam and Kris. Based on a true story, but NOT them. Title is from 'A Day to Be Alone' by One Less Reason
Rating of this chapter: PG-13
Summary: Just another love story, but this one isn't filled with chocolates, butterflies, and fluffy bunny rabbits...though sometimes there are rainbows ;)
Warnings....lots of them: At times, this will be a pretty dark story...deals with domestic violence, rape, anorexia with a touch of bulimia, cutting, and death (but not of major characters). Also, since this is based on personal experiences, it may get pretty detailed and deep. It could be triggering. You have been warned!!!!!!
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10
"Rob, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, Kris. What's up?"
Rob was Kris's cousin-Bri's son-and he used to suffer from an eating disorder as well as Adam, until he met Alex, the love of his life.
"How'd Alex do it?"
"What do you mean?"
"Adam...he's perfect, but he...well, he's pretty much like you were, and he won't believe me when I tell him there's nothing wrong with him. So how did Alex get you to believe there was nothing wrong with you?"
"I still don't believe there's nothing wrong with me," Rob admitted. "There are still days when I want to go back to how I used to be, but I don't because I saw how much it hurt Alex, and when you're in love, the other person's happiness comes before yours."
"But you weren't actually happy when you were bulimic, were you?"
"Of course not, but I thought I was."
"Are you happy now?"
"Yes. Like I said, there are hard days, but yes, I'm happy."
"And Alex is the reason?"
"Yes."
"Then why can't I make Adam happy?"
"I'm sure you do, but healing takes time, and you haven't been together that long. Does he realize it hurts you?"
"Yeah, I think."
"Does he realize how much?"
"Probably not. I try not to let all my emotion out, because I want to be the strong one. I need to, don't I?"
"No. Show him how much it hurts. Are you in love with him?"
"Honestly...yeah. But, like you said, we haven't been together that long, so I doubt he's in love with me."
"He could be."
Kris shook his head. "No. He doesn't know enough about me, really."
"Have you talked to him about your past yet?"
"No."
"Tell him. If he's told you secrets about himself, do the same. He obviously trusts you. He needs to know you trust him."
"I do trust him. That's not the problem. It's just hard to talk about."
"I know, but I'm betting it was hard for him to admit his stuff to you."
"I'm sure it was, but I still don't know everything about him. Like, he lives with his brother, and I get that there is some problem with his parents, but he hasn't talked to me about it."
"And most likely he won't until he knows something about you, especially if it's about family because if he thinks my mom and dad are your mom and dad, then we probably seem like the perfect little family, and he won't want to admit his isn't."
"Okay," Kris sighed after thinking a minute. "As long as you think it will help."
"I know it will. Just don't expect immediate results."
"Okay. Thanks for the help, Rob."
"No problem, K. Good luck. I hope Adam gets better."
"Me too."
Kris planned on following Rob's advice, but the moment never seemed right. It could potentially be awkward if, out of the blue, he said, "Hey, Adam, just thought you should know that my parents are dead and I'm actually a year older than you think since I had to repeat a year of school because I was in a coma for five months." He knew he needed to tell him though, because he withdrew from Kris more and more every day. So, Kris decided to play a game.
"Hey, Adam, wanna play twenty questions?" he asked as they laid on the couch, only half watching TV. Immediately, he perked up.
"Sure."
"Okay. you can ask me something first."
"Are there any rules or restrictions?"
"Nope. Go as random or as deep as you want."
"Okay. Um...what do you love most about yourself?"
"Physical or personality?"
"Both."
"Physical: my hair. Personality: um...I'm nice I guess?"
Adam laughed. "You're very nice. Okay, your turn."
"Favorite childhood memory?"
Adam cocked his head to the side, thinking. Then, with a little smile, said, "Neil and I built a fort out in the backyard. I guess my favorite moment would be when we finally finished it."
Kris smiled. "Cute. Alright, you go."
They asked light, easy questions for awhile. Then, as was Kris's hope. Adam got deeper. "Worst day ever?"
Kris took a deep, silent breath. He could do this.
"Um...well...my dad and I were in a car wreck a little less than a year ago. I was in a coma for five months. The worst day ever was when I woke up and found out he was dead."
Adam sat straight up and stared at Kris, a mixture of horror, sadness and sympathy written on his face. Kris offered a little, comforting smile and Adam seemed to snap out of his daze. "Oh god, Kris, I'm so sorry..."
"Not your fault."
"So...was your mom already married to someone else when it happened?"
Kris knew he was thinking of his aunt and uncle and shook his head. "Bri's not my mom. Well, she is now, but not my biological mom. She died when I was thirteen from cancer."
The look came back on Adam's face. Kris gave him a kiss. "That's why I moved here. I was little orphan Krissy."
"That's...terrible. I'm so sorry."
"You don't need to apologize. Something good came from it."
Adam raised an eyebrow, confused, so Kris answered his unasked question. "You. If that didn't happen, I would have never moved here and never met you."
"Kris...I'm sure you'd trade knowing me to have your parents back. You don't have to-"
But Kris placed a finger on Adam's lips, hushing him.
"No," he said. "I wouldn't trade you for anything. Anything."
Adam gave him a little smile, but was teared up.
"Baby, what's wrong?" Kris asked.
"I had no idea! I've been so selfish, only worrying about my problems!"
"But you weren't. You tried to get me to talk before. I wouldn't. I couldn't. But I can now. You're the first person I've ever talked about it to. I never even discussed it with Bri or Uncle Jake."
His boyfriend gave a tiny smile. "Well, I hope you know you can talk about anything with me."
"I know. And you too."
"I think I already have!"
"Not really. My turn for a question."
"Okay."
"What's the deal with your parents?"
"They were abusive. Not to me, but to Neil, and he has always been my best friend. I hate them for what they did to him."
Kris nodded and kissed Adam's forehead. "Your turn."
"Are you okay?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean...are you okay? From the wreck, your parents...everything."
"Physically or mentally?"
"Both."
"Yeah, I'm pretty much okay. I get sad about it, of course, and I sometimes get headaches from the wreck, but neither is anything serious. Overall, I'm happy and healthy!"
"That's good."
"Mhm. My turn. Um...if you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?"
Adam thought for a minute before shocking Kris by not saying his body, or his freckles, or anything but, "My mind."
"Your mind?"
"Yeah. I'd make it see the truth, because the me I see obviously isn't the same me you see, and I want to know which is true."
"Mine is," Kris assured him.
"I'd make it see that...and believe it."
"I'll help you with that."
"I know," he said, and smiled. "Okay...are you a virgin?"
"No," Kris admitted. "I've had sex with one person."
"...Oh. Okay."
He sounded unsure.
"That's not all I'm after though, Adam. I'm not even after that at all."
"Promise?"
"I promise. We won't have sex until you're ready, and even if you're never ready, that's okay. I don't need sex. Just you."
He could tell Adam tried not to smile, but he failed. "Okay."
The topics became light again after that and a little while later, the game ended. Kris would definitely have to thank Rob later. It felt so good to get some things off of his chest, and Adam did seem to trust him more. Kris could only hope that helped him recover, because he knew at that point, that he couldn't lose Adam, especially not because of his own silly delusions.