Fic: One Day You're Gonna See Things My Way (Chapter 10)
Title: One Day You're Gonna See Things My Way (Chapter 10)
Authors: jazeycisdabomb and andrewluvsu
Pairings: Kradam
Disclaimer: NOT TRUE in the case of Adam and Kris. Based on a true story, but NOT them. Title is from 'A Day to Be Alone' by One Less Reason
Rating of this chapter: PG-13
Summary: Just another love story, but this one isn't filled with chocolates, butterflies, and fluffy bunny rabbits...though sometimes there are rainbows ;)
Warnings....lots of them: At times, this will be a pretty dark story...deals with domestic violence, rape, anorexia with a touch of bulimia, cutting, and death (but not of major characters). Also, since this is based on personal experiences, it may get pretty detailed and deep. It could be triggering. You have been warned!!!!!!
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9
Adam regretted what he did. Not because he would have those deep, ugly scars forever, or even because he ended up in the psych ward, but because it had hurt Kris. He tried to pretend nothing changed and that he still looked at Adam the same, but Adam knew better. It was funny in a way. At first, he had tried his hardest to scare Kris away, but now that he most likely almost had, he wanted nothing more than to cling to him and keep him right there.
That was why Adam was on his best behavior the next three weeks. He ate every single bit of all of his meals, participated in counseling, and didn't try to hurt himself once. It was worth it. The pride he saw on Kris's face as he witnessed the weight going up and the number of marks on his body not going up was priceless, and, for the fist time, it made Adam proud of himself.
The ride home was great. Adam was pretty sure Neil was about to throw their giggling butts out of the car. There was a minor depression relapse when they reached the apartment and Adam saw the mirror, but Kris quickly made him feel better by saying, "This one's a lot prettier, huh? It really goes with the decor better."
Adam laughed and kissed him. "You're so cute when you talk about decor."
Kris smiled, then said, "Are you going to go to the bathroom or do you want to go to your room?"
"My room."
"Okay."
Taking Adam's hand, Kris led the way.
"Oh, bed!" Adam exclaimed, crashing down on it. "I missed you!"
Kris laughed. "Those beds weren't comfortable?"
"They were, but so ugly!"
"Oh, baby!" Kris smiled.
"What?" Adam asked, pulling Kris down next to him.
"Nothing. I'm just so glad you're okay. You are okay, right?"
"Yes," Adam replied, kissing him. Kris beamed.
School was slightly awkward that Monday, since everyone knew at least a little of Adam's situation, but, luckily, no one said anything; just looked at him funny. Adam could deal though. He had Kris by his side. Unfortunately, Kris wasn't in Adam's sixth period, but Connor was, and he chose to sit by Adam.
"Hey Addie."
"Hey."
"Um...how are you?"
"I'm fine. How's Noah?"
Connor turned a deep red. "He's fine."
"That's good."
"Listen, I just wanted to make sure what happened wasn't my fault. I never wanted to hurt you, sweetie."
Adam rolled his eyes. "No, Connor, it wasn't your fault. You can rest easily. Is that all?"
"I'm worried about you, Adam."
"You're weren't too worried when you punched me for not satisfying your sexual needs."
Immediately, the ex's face went blank and he said flatly, "I'm sorry, Adam. Okay? I'm really, really sorry."
Then he got up and walked away, and Adam went to the bathroom, unable to be in the same room as Connor anymore.
"Are we hanging out?" Kris asked after school.
"Of course, " Adam answered. "My place or yours?"
"I think you need some therapy."
Adam glared. "Nice change of subject."
Infuriatingly, Kris smiled, but then said, "I mean shopping therapy."
"Oh." Adam smiled. "I couldn't agree more."
The shopping helped, though Adam had a feeling it had to do with the fact that Kris would actually spend all evening with him at the mall when shopping so clearly wasn't his thing. Knowing he owed him, Adam ate a big, greasy, fattening piece of pizza and didn't complain. Kris couldn't stop smiling, which meant Adam couldn't stop smiling. Amazingly, Adam spent less than a hundred dollars that day, which made him believe there was some truth in the 'shopping to fill a void' thing. There was no void that evening. Of course, it may have been because of Kris and not his adorable new shoes.
His happiness rose when he dropped Kris off without getting a million questions about if he was sure he would be okay, if he knew that he could call if he needed anything, blah, blah, blah. For once, he wasn't being treated like a mental patient. He wanted to squeal, and once Kris was inside his house, he did.
"You seem happy," Neil commented when he arrived home.
"I am," he said, and it was the truth. Stupid, really, how one little sacrifice from Kris seemed to temporarily cure him, but it did. Maybe I do need a therapist, he thought, but skipped up to his room without a care in the world.
The usual sadness came back a little the next morning, but evaporated when Kris got into his car, kissed him on the cheek, and said, "Good morning, beautiful. How'd you sleep?"
"Perfect. What about you?"
"Swell."
Adam laughed. "I'm glad."
"So what are we doing after school today?"
"You shopped with me yesterday, so whatever you want."
Adam regretted saying that as soon as he saw the ornery grin spread across Kris's face. "Uh-oh. What?"
"Do you know how to play baseball?"
"Hell no! I don't know how to play any sport. Connor tried to teach me how to play football and I fell on my face...multiple times!"
Kris laughed a little. "Aw, well...if you won't kill me...I want to teach you how to play baseball."
"If it makes you happy, you can try."
Kris beamed.
"Okay, put on this helmet. I don't want your pretty face ruined. Come to think of it, I don't want your pretty hands ruined either, so here are some gloves."
"Nice to know you have faith in me," Adam teased.
"I'm just taking precautions. I believe in you, love."
"Well, you shouldn't."
Kris laughed, then began explaining. "Now, rule one, don't be afraid of the ball..."
And that was all Adam heard. Still, when Kris asked if he was ready, he said, "Yes!" in the most cheery tone he could.
"Don't strain yourself there." Kris laughed, then took his position and tossed the ball. Adam screamed and ducked out of the way. "It's not going to hurt you!" Kris called.
"How do you know?" Adam retorted.
"Because I geared you up!"
"Oh..."
That was obviously true, but Adam still couldn't help himself from flinching away from the ball. When he finally did hit the ball, it went about three feet. Still, Kris gave him a huge, proud smile. "Good job, baby! You did it!"
"Um...I don't think that counts as 'doing it'," Adam said, looking sadly at the ball.
"Of course it does! I'm proud of you!"
"Thanks..."
"Do you want to learn how to throw it now?"
"That sounds a lot safer."
Kris instructed Adam on how to throw the ball and Adam did better, but was then terrified of hitting Kris in the face, so after a few minutes, Kris said, "Okay, okay. I'm done torturing you. We can do something else now."
"I'm sorry! I tried!"
"I know. You did great! I just know this isn't your idea of fun. What do you want to do now?"
"Shower."
Kris laughed. "Seriously?"
"Yes."
"Okay, love. You go shower. I'll be watching TV."
Adam showered quickly, then went to his room to get new clothes. He jumped when he saw Kris sitting on his bed. "I thought you were going to be watching TV?!"
"Nothing was on. Sorry I scared you."
"I don't have make up on!"
"Really?! Let me see."
"No!"
Adam tried to keep his face away from Kris, but the other man grabbed his face gently and turned it to face him, then smiled. "Even more beautiful."
"And I'm in a towel."
"I'm not looking at your body. I'm sure it's gorgeous, but I can't look away from your eyes."
Adam tried not to, but smiled a little. "So romantic."
"I'm very romantic, aren't I?"
"Yes." He laughed.
"Honestly, I was the least romantic person ever before I met you."
"Well, I feel loved."
"You should because you are."
Adam smiled again, then said, "I need to get dressed."
"Okay, but don't do your make up! I neeeeed you!"
"You need me?"
"Yes! Being away from you kills me!"
"I'll just be right here in front of the mirror."
Kris sighed dramatically. "Fine, but you are just as beautiful without your make up."
Adam didn't believe that was true, but he believed Kris was delusional enough to think it was, and he loved it. Still, he knew he had to do his make up before Kris realized he really wasn't all that pretty.
Kris was quiet while he was doing his make up, and even looked a little sad. "What's wrong?" Adam asked.
"Nothing," Kris answered, smiling a little.
"Kriiiiiiis," Adam whined. "I tell you everything now. Why won't you tell me?"
"It's just that I wish you knew how pretty you are."
Adam rolled his eyes. "Is that really what's making you sad?"
"Yes. You should love yourself."
"Why?"
"Why not?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
"Yes, because I want to prove you wrong."
"Okay...I'm stupid-"
"How?"
"I don't know....I get called a ditz all the time."
"You're definitely not stupid. You have, what, all As?"
Adam shrugged and moved on to the next issue. "I'm fat-"
"Not at all, and I promise I would tell you if you were, for your health."
"Well...I am ugly!"
"There's nothing ugly on you! You have beautiful eyes, beautiful lips, beautiful hair, the perfect nose, amazing complexion..."
"I'm crazy."
"No. Not crazy. Troubled because something someone's done to you. I don't know who and I don't know what, but something that you don't deserve."
Adam shook his head. "Kris, I hope you stay delusional forever."
"Adam?"
"Hm?"
"I hope with all my heart that you don't."
Adam turned away so Kris wouldn't see him smile. He refused to let Kris think he was giving in, because he wasn't, but he did almost feel the way Kris saw him when he was around.
Authors: jazeycisdabomb and andrewluvsu
Pairings: Kradam
Disclaimer: NOT TRUE in the case of Adam and Kris. Based on a true story, but NOT them. Title is from 'A Day to Be Alone' by One Less Reason
Rating of this chapter: PG-13
Summary: Just another love story, but this one isn't filled with chocolates, butterflies, and fluffy bunny rabbits...though sometimes there are rainbows ;)
Warnings....lots of them: At times, this will be a pretty dark story...deals with domestic violence, rape, anorexia with a touch of bulimia, cutting, and death (but not of major characters). Also, since this is based on personal experiences, it may get pretty detailed and deep. It could be triggering. You have been warned!!!!!!
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9
Adam regretted what he did. Not because he would have those deep, ugly scars forever, or even because he ended up in the psych ward, but because it had hurt Kris. He tried to pretend nothing changed and that he still looked at Adam the same, but Adam knew better. It was funny in a way. At first, he had tried his hardest to scare Kris away, but now that he most likely almost had, he wanted nothing more than to cling to him and keep him right there.
That was why Adam was on his best behavior the next three weeks. He ate every single bit of all of his meals, participated in counseling, and didn't try to hurt himself once. It was worth it. The pride he saw on Kris's face as he witnessed the weight going up and the number of marks on his body not going up was priceless, and, for the fist time, it made Adam proud of himself.
The ride home was great. Adam was pretty sure Neil was about to throw their giggling butts out of the car. There was a minor depression relapse when they reached the apartment and Adam saw the mirror, but Kris quickly made him feel better by saying, "This one's a lot prettier, huh? It really goes with the decor better."
Adam laughed and kissed him. "You're so cute when you talk about decor."
Kris smiled, then said, "Are you going to go to the bathroom or do you want to go to your room?"
"My room."
"Okay."
Taking Adam's hand, Kris led the way.
"Oh, bed!" Adam exclaimed, crashing down on it. "I missed you!"
Kris laughed. "Those beds weren't comfortable?"
"They were, but so ugly!"
"Oh, baby!" Kris smiled.
"What?" Adam asked, pulling Kris down next to him.
"Nothing. I'm just so glad you're okay. You are okay, right?"
"Yes," Adam replied, kissing him. Kris beamed.
School was slightly awkward that Monday, since everyone knew at least a little of Adam's situation, but, luckily, no one said anything; just looked at him funny. Adam could deal though. He had Kris by his side. Unfortunately, Kris wasn't in Adam's sixth period, but Connor was, and he chose to sit by Adam.
"Hey Addie."
"Hey."
"Um...how are you?"
"I'm fine. How's Noah?"
Connor turned a deep red. "He's fine."
"That's good."
"Listen, I just wanted to make sure what happened wasn't my fault. I never wanted to hurt you, sweetie."
Adam rolled his eyes. "No, Connor, it wasn't your fault. You can rest easily. Is that all?"
"I'm worried about you, Adam."
"You're weren't too worried when you punched me for not satisfying your sexual needs."
Immediately, the ex's face went blank and he said flatly, "I'm sorry, Adam. Okay? I'm really, really sorry."
Then he got up and walked away, and Adam went to the bathroom, unable to be in the same room as Connor anymore.
"Are we hanging out?" Kris asked after school.
"Of course, " Adam answered. "My place or yours?"
"I think you need some therapy."
Adam glared. "Nice change of subject."
Infuriatingly, Kris smiled, but then said, "I mean shopping therapy."
"Oh." Adam smiled. "I couldn't agree more."
The shopping helped, though Adam had a feeling it had to do with the fact that Kris would actually spend all evening with him at the mall when shopping so clearly wasn't his thing. Knowing he owed him, Adam ate a big, greasy, fattening piece of pizza and didn't complain. Kris couldn't stop smiling, which meant Adam couldn't stop smiling. Amazingly, Adam spent less than a hundred dollars that day, which made him believe there was some truth in the 'shopping to fill a void' thing. There was no void that evening. Of course, it may have been because of Kris and not his adorable new shoes.
His happiness rose when he dropped Kris off without getting a million questions about if he was sure he would be okay, if he knew that he could call if he needed anything, blah, blah, blah. For once, he wasn't being treated like a mental patient. He wanted to squeal, and once Kris was inside his house, he did.
"You seem happy," Neil commented when he arrived home.
"I am," he said, and it was the truth. Stupid, really, how one little sacrifice from Kris seemed to temporarily cure him, but it did. Maybe I do need a therapist, he thought, but skipped up to his room without a care in the world.
The usual sadness came back a little the next morning, but evaporated when Kris got into his car, kissed him on the cheek, and said, "Good morning, beautiful. How'd you sleep?"
"Perfect. What about you?"
"Swell."
Adam laughed. "I'm glad."
"So what are we doing after school today?"
"You shopped with me yesterday, so whatever you want."
Adam regretted saying that as soon as he saw the ornery grin spread across Kris's face. "Uh-oh. What?"
"Do you know how to play baseball?"
"Hell no! I don't know how to play any sport. Connor tried to teach me how to play football and I fell on my face...multiple times!"
Kris laughed a little. "Aw, well...if you won't kill me...I want to teach you how to play baseball."
"If it makes you happy, you can try."
Kris beamed.
"Okay, put on this helmet. I don't want your pretty face ruined. Come to think of it, I don't want your pretty hands ruined either, so here are some gloves."
"Nice to know you have faith in me," Adam teased.
"I'm just taking precautions. I believe in you, love."
"Well, you shouldn't."
Kris laughed, then began explaining. "Now, rule one, don't be afraid of the ball..."
And that was all Adam heard. Still, when Kris asked if he was ready, he said, "Yes!" in the most cheery tone he could.
"Don't strain yourself there." Kris laughed, then took his position and tossed the ball. Adam screamed and ducked out of the way. "It's not going to hurt you!" Kris called.
"How do you know?" Adam retorted.
"Because I geared you up!"
"Oh..."
That was obviously true, but Adam still couldn't help himself from flinching away from the ball. When he finally did hit the ball, it went about three feet. Still, Kris gave him a huge, proud smile. "Good job, baby! You did it!"
"Um...I don't think that counts as 'doing it'," Adam said, looking sadly at the ball.
"Of course it does! I'm proud of you!"
"Thanks..."
"Do you want to learn how to throw it now?"
"That sounds a lot safer."
Kris instructed Adam on how to throw the ball and Adam did better, but was then terrified of hitting Kris in the face, so after a few minutes, Kris said, "Okay, okay. I'm done torturing you. We can do something else now."
"I'm sorry! I tried!"
"I know. You did great! I just know this isn't your idea of fun. What do you want to do now?"
"Shower."
Kris laughed. "Seriously?"
"Yes."
"Okay, love. You go shower. I'll be watching TV."
Adam showered quickly, then went to his room to get new clothes. He jumped when he saw Kris sitting on his bed. "I thought you were going to be watching TV?!"
"Nothing was on. Sorry I scared you."
"I don't have make up on!"
"Really?! Let me see."
"No!"
Adam tried to keep his face away from Kris, but the other man grabbed his face gently and turned it to face him, then smiled. "Even more beautiful."
"And I'm in a towel."
"I'm not looking at your body. I'm sure it's gorgeous, but I can't look away from your eyes."
Adam tried not to, but smiled a little. "So romantic."
"I'm very romantic, aren't I?"
"Yes." He laughed.
"Honestly, I was the least romantic person ever before I met you."
"Well, I feel loved."
"You should because you are."
Adam smiled again, then said, "I need to get dressed."
"Okay, but don't do your make up! I neeeeed you!"
"You need me?"
"Yes! Being away from you kills me!"
"I'll just be right here in front of the mirror."
Kris sighed dramatically. "Fine, but you are just as beautiful without your make up."
Adam didn't believe that was true, but he believed Kris was delusional enough to think it was, and he loved it. Still, he knew he had to do his make up before Kris realized he really wasn't all that pretty.
Kris was quiet while he was doing his make up, and even looked a little sad. "What's wrong?" Adam asked.
"Nothing," Kris answered, smiling a little.
"Kriiiiiiis," Adam whined. "I tell you everything now. Why won't you tell me?"
"It's just that I wish you knew how pretty you are."
Adam rolled his eyes. "Is that really what's making you sad?"
"Yes. You should love yourself."
"Why?"
"Why not?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
"Yes, because I want to prove you wrong."
"Okay...I'm stupid-"
"How?"
"I don't know....I get called a ditz all the time."
"You're definitely not stupid. You have, what, all As?"
Adam shrugged and moved on to the next issue. "I'm fat-"
"Not at all, and I promise I would tell you if you were, for your health."
"Well...I am ugly!"
"There's nothing ugly on you! You have beautiful eyes, beautiful lips, beautiful hair, the perfect nose, amazing complexion..."
"I'm crazy."
"No. Not crazy. Troubled because something someone's done to you. I don't know who and I don't know what, but something that you don't deserve."
Adam shook his head. "Kris, I hope you stay delusional forever."
"Adam?"
"Hm?"
"I hope with all my heart that you don't."
Adam turned away so Kris wouldn't see him smile. He refused to let Kris think he was giving in, because he wasn't, but he did almost feel the way Kris saw him when he was around.