Fic: One Day You're Gonna See Things My Way (Chapter 8)
Title: One Day You're Gonna See Things My Way (Chapter 8)
Authors: jazeycisdabomb and andrewluvsu
Pairings: Kradam
Disclaimer: NOT TRUE in the case of Adam and Kris. Based on a true story, but NOT them. Title is from 'A Day to Be Alone' by One Less Reason
Rating of this chapter: PG-13
Summary: Just another love story, but this one isn't filled with chocolates, butterflies, and fluffy bunny rabbits...though sometimes there are rainbows ;)
Warnings....lots of them: At times, this will be a pretty dark story...deals with domestic violence, rape, anorexia with a touch of bulimia, cutting, and death (but not of major characters). Also, since this is based on personal experiences, it may get pretty detailed and deep. It could be triggering. You have been warned!!!!!!
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7
Adam left Kris's house a few minutes later, knowing that if he stayed where he was, in Kris's arms, he would fall asleep, and he didn't want to do that in case the nightmare decided to come back. He'd embarrassed himself in front of Kris enough. He knew he shouldn't be embarrassed. Kris wasn't judging him. He was too amazing. Truthfully, Adam still thought he was too good for him, but since Kris was too naive to see that, Adam was going to take advantage of that.
"Hey," Neil greeted his brother as he walked in the door.
"Hey," Adam said.
"Did you have fun?'
"Yeah."
"That's good. Is something wrong?"
"Just tired."
"If you say so."
"I promise."
It was the truth that time. The second Adam laid down, he fell asleep, and woke up three hours later.
"I was just about to come up and see if you died," Neil said when Adam walked back downstairs.
"Told you I was tired."
"Didn't Kris let you sleep?"
"Of course he did."
Neil raised an eyebrow. "Nightmare?"
Adam shrugged. "I'm fine."
"The same one as usual?"
"Neil, just forget about it!"
"I'll take that as a yes. I still say-"
"I'm not going to counseling."
"Okay, whatever. Want some spaghetti?"
"I sometimes think the drugs you used to do really destroyed your brain," Adam commented before turning and walking back upstairs. He felt bad immediately. He knew Neil was just worried. After all, they'd been through way too much together to not care about each other. It was just that Adam hated people trying to help him. He didn't need help. Okay, maybe he did, but he didn't want it. He honestly did not want to get better. He couldn't really explain why. He stopped trying to understand himself a long time ago.
That was why he didn't eat for the rest of that day or the next or the next. He told Kris he was eating though, but doubted he believed him. He didn't argue, so Adam didn't really care.
A couple weeks later, Adam had only eaten (without throwing up) a little over a hundred calories so, of course, he was extremely weak and felt like hell. He was sure he was going to pass out by the end of the day, and he was right.
When he came to, he was in the hospital, several machines all hooked up to him. Neil was sitting on his bed, staring at him with wide, fearful eyes. Even though Adam's head was foggy, he didn't have to ask what happened. There was only one very likely reason for being in the hospital. The guilt hit him like a brick. Neil was usually calm, cool and collected, except when something was wrong with Adam. It was always Adam's fault...
"Hey," he choked hoarsely, though he was trying to make his voice cheery. Neil narrowed his eyes.
"Don't pull that on me. I'll be right back. I'm going to get your doctor."
He left and Adam let out a long breath. That one little word had taken what energy he had left in him out, and he felt like he was going to pass out again. He didn't though, and Neil was back with his doctor about a minute later.
"Hello, Adam," Dr. Lavine said cheerfully. "I'm glad to see you're awake. How do you feel?"
"Weak," he answered honestly. It wasn't like it wasn't obvious.
"That's understandable. You know you passed out, right?"
Duh, Adam though, but said, "Yeah."
"What is the last thing you remember?"
"Walking to lunch with Kris."
"Alright, that's good. You do not have any memory loss. What is the last thing you ate today, Adam?"
Adam pursed his lips and glanced at Neil before answering, "I didn't eat anything today."
"When is the last time you ate?"
"A couple days ago. I had half a peanut butter sandwhich."
"Was that it?"
"Yes."
"Did you keep it down?"
"No."
Dr. Lavine held in an obvious sigh. "You are at serious risk for another heart attack, Adam. This is serious. You have got to get everything back on track or you will die. Do you understand that?"
Neil let out a choked sob and left the room. Adam swallowed tears and said, "Yes. I understand."
"Don't you care?"
"Not really."
"Adam, I really think you should see a counselor, maybe check into a rehab..."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because it won't help and I don't want to change."
Dr. Lavine rubbed his forehead like he always did when he was trying to understand his young patient's ways. "You'd rather die than gain a few pounds?"
"Yes."
The doctor sighed. "Get in the wheelchair. We're going to the scale. Are you still 6'2? I should measure you, but I highly doubt you would be able to stand up straight right now."
"Yes, I'm still 6'2."
"Alright. Do you need help?"
"No. I have it."
Adam lowered himself into the wheelchair, though he nearly collapsed, and Dr. Lavine pushed him to the scale.
"One hundred and five pounds," he read off. "You are the size of someone a foot shorter than you."
"Might as well make it two feet."
"Adam!" a different voice called.
Holding onto the wall, Adam turned to see Kris and Neil hurrying towards him. Kris immediately wrapped his arms around Adam's middle and began crying.
"You scared the hell out of me."
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you doing this?"
Adam sighed. "I already explained it the best I could, Kris. I tried to get you to leave me."
"That's never gonna happen."
"Let's go back to the room, shall we?" Dr. Lavine interrupted, but Adam was grateful. With every second he didn't fall over, he was surprised.
Kris pushed Adam back and then helped him onto the bed, but he was still crying. Adam weakly reached up and wiped a tear away. "Don't cry."
"Don't cry? How can you tell me not to cry, Adam?! I thought you were going to die!"
"Don't be dramatic."
"I'm not! You were so pale...you already looked like you were dead!"
"I told you I'm sorry, but I'm fine. Just relax."
"I hope you're not actually expecting that to happen."
He only sighed.
Neil and Dr. Lavine entered the room again a few minutes later, the doctor with a tube filled with a substance Adam was all too familiar with.
"No," he said.
"Would you rather actually eat something?" Dr. Lavine asked.
"No."
"Then you're getting this stuff."
"I don't want it."
"Too bad."
Adam wanted to kick, scream and push the doctor away as forced the tube into his nose, but was too weak.
"There," Dr. Lavine said once the nourishment was going into Adam's body. Adam looked from Neil's disappointed face to Kris, who was covering his face, looking for comfort, but there was none to be found.
"When do I get out of here?" Adam asked once the tube was removed.
"When you gain five pounds," Neil answered. Rage filled him instantly.
"WHAT?! THAT'S CRAZY! THEY CAN'T HOLD ME HERE!"
"If you leave, you're going to a rehab."
"You can't make me do that either!"
"It's either that or you're going to live with mom or dad because I can't do this anymore."
That shut Adam up. He sat there, stunned into silence. He'd done it. He most likely pushed away Kris and he also pushed away his brother, the one person he thought would never give up on him.
Authors: jazeycisdabomb and andrewluvsu
Pairings: Kradam
Disclaimer: NOT TRUE in the case of Adam and Kris. Based on a true story, but NOT them. Title is from 'A Day to Be Alone' by One Less Reason
Rating of this chapter: PG-13
Summary: Just another love story, but this one isn't filled with chocolates, butterflies, and fluffy bunny rabbits...though sometimes there are rainbows ;)
Warnings....lots of them: At times, this will be a pretty dark story...deals with domestic violence, rape, anorexia with a touch of bulimia, cutting, and death (but not of major characters). Also, since this is based on personal experiences, it may get pretty detailed and deep. It could be triggering. You have been warned!!!!!!
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7
Adam left Kris's house a few minutes later, knowing that if he stayed where he was, in Kris's arms, he would fall asleep, and he didn't want to do that in case the nightmare decided to come back. He'd embarrassed himself in front of Kris enough. He knew he shouldn't be embarrassed. Kris wasn't judging him. He was too amazing. Truthfully, Adam still thought he was too good for him, but since Kris was too naive to see that, Adam was going to take advantage of that.
"Hey," Neil greeted his brother as he walked in the door.
"Hey," Adam said.
"Did you have fun?'
"Yeah."
"That's good. Is something wrong?"
"Just tired."
"If you say so."
"I promise."
It was the truth that time. The second Adam laid down, he fell asleep, and woke up three hours later.
"I was just about to come up and see if you died," Neil said when Adam walked back downstairs.
"Told you I was tired."
"Didn't Kris let you sleep?"
"Of course he did."
Neil raised an eyebrow. "Nightmare?"
Adam shrugged. "I'm fine."
"The same one as usual?"
"Neil, just forget about it!"
"I'll take that as a yes. I still say-"
"I'm not going to counseling."
"Okay, whatever. Want some spaghetti?"
"I sometimes think the drugs you used to do really destroyed your brain," Adam commented before turning and walking back upstairs. He felt bad immediately. He knew Neil was just worried. After all, they'd been through way too much together to not care about each other. It was just that Adam hated people trying to help him. He didn't need help. Okay, maybe he did, but he didn't want it. He honestly did not want to get better. He couldn't really explain why. He stopped trying to understand himself a long time ago.
That was why he didn't eat for the rest of that day or the next or the next. He told Kris he was eating though, but doubted he believed him. He didn't argue, so Adam didn't really care.
A couple weeks later, Adam had only eaten (without throwing up) a little over a hundred calories so, of course, he was extremely weak and felt like hell. He was sure he was going to pass out by the end of the day, and he was right.
When he came to, he was in the hospital, several machines all hooked up to him. Neil was sitting on his bed, staring at him with wide, fearful eyes. Even though Adam's head was foggy, he didn't have to ask what happened. There was only one very likely reason for being in the hospital. The guilt hit him like a brick. Neil was usually calm, cool and collected, except when something was wrong with Adam. It was always Adam's fault...
"Hey," he choked hoarsely, though he was trying to make his voice cheery. Neil narrowed his eyes.
"Don't pull that on me. I'll be right back. I'm going to get your doctor."
He left and Adam let out a long breath. That one little word had taken what energy he had left in him out, and he felt like he was going to pass out again. He didn't though, and Neil was back with his doctor about a minute later.
"Hello, Adam," Dr. Lavine said cheerfully. "I'm glad to see you're awake. How do you feel?"
"Weak," he answered honestly. It wasn't like it wasn't obvious.
"That's understandable. You know you passed out, right?"
Duh, Adam though, but said, "Yeah."
"What is the last thing you remember?"
"Walking to lunch with Kris."
"Alright, that's good. You do not have any memory loss. What is the last thing you ate today, Adam?"
Adam pursed his lips and glanced at Neil before answering, "I didn't eat anything today."
"When is the last time you ate?"
"A couple days ago. I had half a peanut butter sandwhich."
"Was that it?"
"Yes."
"Did you keep it down?"
"No."
Dr. Lavine held in an obvious sigh. "You are at serious risk for another heart attack, Adam. This is serious. You have got to get everything back on track or you will die. Do you understand that?"
Neil let out a choked sob and left the room. Adam swallowed tears and said, "Yes. I understand."
"Don't you care?"
"Not really."
"Adam, I really think you should see a counselor, maybe check into a rehab..."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because it won't help and I don't want to change."
Dr. Lavine rubbed his forehead like he always did when he was trying to understand his young patient's ways. "You'd rather die than gain a few pounds?"
"Yes."
The doctor sighed. "Get in the wheelchair. We're going to the scale. Are you still 6'2? I should measure you, but I highly doubt you would be able to stand up straight right now."
"Yes, I'm still 6'2."
"Alright. Do you need help?"
"No. I have it."
Adam lowered himself into the wheelchair, though he nearly collapsed, and Dr. Lavine pushed him to the scale.
"One hundred and five pounds," he read off. "You are the size of someone a foot shorter than you."
"Might as well make it two feet."
"Adam!" a different voice called.
Holding onto the wall, Adam turned to see Kris and Neil hurrying towards him. Kris immediately wrapped his arms around Adam's middle and began crying.
"You scared the hell out of me."
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you doing this?"
Adam sighed. "I already explained it the best I could, Kris. I tried to get you to leave me."
"That's never gonna happen."
"Let's go back to the room, shall we?" Dr. Lavine interrupted, but Adam was grateful. With every second he didn't fall over, he was surprised.
Kris pushed Adam back and then helped him onto the bed, but he was still crying. Adam weakly reached up and wiped a tear away. "Don't cry."
"Don't cry? How can you tell me not to cry, Adam?! I thought you were going to die!"
"Don't be dramatic."
"I'm not! You were so pale...you already looked like you were dead!"
"I told you I'm sorry, but I'm fine. Just relax."
"I hope you're not actually expecting that to happen."
He only sighed.
Neil and Dr. Lavine entered the room again a few minutes later, the doctor with a tube filled with a substance Adam was all too familiar with.
"No," he said.
"Would you rather actually eat something?" Dr. Lavine asked.
"No."
"Then you're getting this stuff."
"I don't want it."
"Too bad."
Adam wanted to kick, scream and push the doctor away as forced the tube into his nose, but was too weak.
"There," Dr. Lavine said once the nourishment was going into Adam's body. Adam looked from Neil's disappointed face to Kris, who was covering his face, looking for comfort, but there was none to be found.
"When do I get out of here?" Adam asked once the tube was removed.
"When you gain five pounds," Neil answered. Rage filled him instantly.
"WHAT?! THAT'S CRAZY! THEY CAN'T HOLD ME HERE!"
"If you leave, you're going to a rehab."
"You can't make me do that either!"
"It's either that or you're going to live with mom or dad because I can't do this anymore."
That shut Adam up. He sat there, stunned into silence. He'd done it. He most likely pushed away Kris and he also pushed away his brother, the one person he thought would never give up on him.