Last week I lost a 2 year long group I'd been hanging out with. Well, today is the day that I cut all my social ties. I'm too damaged. My defenses never relent, and I just can't stop that goddamn voice in my head any longer telling me how everyone's probably talking shit behind my back and hate me ( Read more... )

Guess who's back? I've had no one to talk to about my issues for over a year, be it because of losing 2 friend groups, or the remaining friends I do have having their own issues. I've decided to finally reopen this spot.

( Same shit. )

So, it's been a year since I shut this entire journal down. I've felt the urge to post here a few times, especially during the harder times, but instead I just... didn't. It's been both a good (having support) and bad (not being able to just rely on myself). This year has been a mess of anxiety, especially after I started spiraling from the ( Read more... )

I started this journal with the idea of "Understanding", that if people understood why I thought the way I did, why I did what I did, or even just my side of the story... they'd be kinder, or maybe even side with me. I in kind was obsessed with understanding others, and helping them. I believed every problem stemmed from a lack of understanding/ ( Read more... )

After a few days ago, I've had time to really think. I can finally say... I'm relaxed. Thankful she finally let go. It's finally over. I don't have her skulking around trying to find a door back into my life. Hovering over my journal. Clinging to me one moment, ditching me for weeks on end, leaving me to wonder if I did something wrong (since she ( Read more... )

New character.

( Who dis? )

That Valentine's Day thing I was supposed to work on.

( Lotus Blossom )