Probably the stupidest week of my life. Spent almost 100% of it blackout drunk, spent every penny I had and a little more on either alcohol or stupid drunk spending on useless bullshit. So now I can't even afford to do Alicia a couple of favours she asked of me. Shouting at people randomly, trying to talk to strangers because I don't have any ( Read more... )

there has been so much difficulty in my life stemming from my alcohol use. i've been kidding myself again lately, but today i'm going to go back to the clinic and see if i can't get started back into that thing from jan-april ( Read more... )

time passes so quickly now.

fuck this summer

have backslid kinda heavy. now i need to pick myself up all over again. that's okay, because i want to, but even though it's hard i need to try to remember that all this shit isn't worth it.

I am at my parents now. Living here, for a few weeks, at least. I had a place in Glasgow since November, and although only the last two months of that were really good, I feel like I'm finally figuring out how to just exist where ever I am. I'm still preoccupied with some things that I just need to be patient about, but I think I'm learning, anyway ( Read more... )

it is a good week. it is a good time.

alicia is here

Felt good on the train today. That I am still very flawed and, in practice, not a good person, but that I still think there might be a little hope for me to keep improving. I just typed that and I realised it must be a strange thing to talk about yourself in that way - it's probably the drinking, and how it has always made me hyper aware of when I ( Read more... )

i'm almost 22 and i have the skills, habits and experiences of a child. i don't know how to do anything and all i do is lie around all day. i might as well not exist aside from some people who know me. there is no purpose in my life beyond satisfying my own dump feelings. i haven't done anything ( Read more... )