fucking stress. fucking worry. fucking loud people. fucking fights. fucking shit I can't get over. fucking last night. fucking tonight. fucking everything. fucking midterm critiques. fucking painting. fucking being unhappy without any good god damn reason. fucking not knowing what the fuck is going on. fucking world, just god damn it! fuck fuck ( Read more... )

last night was really the first great night in a while. alex and I got off campus and went to tgi friday's for dinner, and talked and laughed and sang and offended people [I did some of those without alex's help, because I'm musical and offensive] and waited a ridiculously long time for a table, but it's always worth it for a jack daniels burger. ( Read more... )

I hate how I thought I would know once I came back to a place where I've felt crisp air in my lungs and clear sharp color lines in my eyes. four days back and we've settled. settled and now it's that ever-flux of feeling in my stomach, butterflies to sickness, sickness to rag-winged butterflies ( Read more... )

I don't know.

I feel about this big.

enough with the fucking memes!

tonight was very what we talk about when we talk about love...how it just slides into darkness, and by the end all of it's snuffed out.

it's heartbreaking and disconcerting, to end that sort of way. but the good points were truly wonderful - I feel at least one thing so strongly I could keel over from it.

two fire alarms are two too many for heubeck dining hall. I wanted my sammich. I wanted my cheesecake. I did not want to have to leave, twice, right before getting them. that made me sad ( Read more... )

it's been one hell of a weekend ( Read more... )

you're going to fight one battle all your life ( Read more... )

if I've only got so many chances to bring things down and still have them bounce back to where they were, I'm using them up at lightning speed.

why is it so difficult to just sit and let a happy thing be what it is?

I don't think you can really understand death until you truly, deeply, in your heart and in your bones understand the meaning of never.

I remember the exact moment at which never hit me. that smile was life and that life had come to be death - never. never again ( Read more... )