you're not a person; you're a concept.

so sometime last week melissa tillery and I are making dinner together and talking about our troubles and we start to talk about alex and the things he says to people to make them think he's worth their time. and suddenly she starts laughing at how ridiculous he is, and then I start laughing, and just like that I've got control over my situation ( Read more... )

I am so thoroughly fed up with shit. I've tried to be a good person. I've tried really hard, and I'm still getting screwed over ( Read more... )

it's a powerful force, and sometimes powerful forces just tear you down without asking first. I'd like to be okay with that and yet I'm not, nor will I be. but try screaming "this isn't fair!" at a hurricane; see if it blows over for you.

I want to stop feeling hurt and sick and angry, but I can't.

how did I get taken in by you for so long? you were always the liar I see you for today. you were always manipulative. and yet I just ate up every kind or cruel word you threw my way ( Read more... )

goucher's thanksgiving dinner today was really grand - lots and lots of everything that's great, both food- and people-wise. it was a really good feeling, for once, cracking open king crab legs and digging into pumpkin pie with great, funny conversation and good friends all around ( Read more... )

I can't help but feel there must have been some step we could have taken that would have led us somewhere different, so things wouldn't have to be what they are now. we're not so obviously wrong for each other.

I think the worst of things are evaporating. I woke the other day and felt the past had rolled off me in the night, which I suppose is how it happens. who knows how long the feeling will last, but I've at least set myself on a straight path for the time being. I've come to recognize a clear failing in myself, and I'm going to work on changing how I ( Read more... )

today I went to visit my brother at the summer camp where he's working and living all summer - it was good. I'm proud of that kid, he's a good guy and a pleasant one. we went through spells where we were inseparable growing up, and I'm really terribly fond of him. miss having him around. he humors me and plays nintendo with me, which in my opinion ( Read more... )

damn have I been having some crazy dreams the past couple of nights. I don't know which one scared me most: the one in which a guy's head got sliced off by a falling piece of broken glass, the one with hundreds of great white sharks, or the one in which I took a pregnancy test which turned out positive. the sort of dreams I was having this time ( Read more... )