I guess another "I'm still alive" update
goucher's thanksgiving dinner today was really grand - lots and lots of everything that's great, both food- and people-wise. it was a really good feeling, for once, cracking open king crab legs and digging into pumpkin pie with great, funny conversation and good friends all around.
horseback riding was interesting. I rode a horse that's really sensitive. if I tense up even the littlest bit I pull on the reins or nag with my legs without knowing I'm doing it, and riding him showed me how badly I need to relax to do well. it was such a struggle to let stuff go and just ride calmly, but as soon as I would relax everything went perfectly. I think that's sort of a metadrama [metalesson?], a lesson within a big lesson for me. I wish I could let things go and relax, but so far in my life, at least, it's a giant, frustrating struggle even to take things in stride, much less overcome.
enough philosophy. shit hit the goddamn fan this past week and I'm fluctuating wildly on how I feel about people and circumstances. nothing I can do about any of it except feel hurt/angry/betrayed or think of other things. trying mostly to do the latter.
oh, and I'm still terrified [more so, actually] of going abroad.
how are you people?
horseback riding was interesting. I rode a horse that's really sensitive. if I tense up even the littlest bit I pull on the reins or nag with my legs without knowing I'm doing it, and riding him showed me how badly I need to relax to do well. it was such a struggle to let stuff go and just ride calmly, but as soon as I would relax everything went perfectly. I think that's sort of a metadrama [metalesson?], a lesson within a big lesson for me. I wish I could let things go and relax, but so far in my life, at least, it's a giant, frustrating struggle even to take things in stride, much less overcome.
enough philosophy. shit hit the goddamn fan this past week and I'm fluctuating wildly on how I feel about people and circumstances. nothing I can do about any of it except feel hurt/angry/betrayed or think of other things. trying mostly to do the latter.
oh, and I'm still terrified [more so, actually] of going abroad.
how are you people?