Jeez! (Open rp)

[josh_h_christ]

The Secrets Board had left Josh bewildered. The people of Hogwarts appeared to think that:
a. he looked like " one fugly mofo" as a child,
b. he was endlessly sobbing, by the sheer number of people writing "such and such makes baby Jesus cry", and, most disturbing of all,
c. he was some sort of sex object.

There was only one logical conclusion: the

Comments

[gets_inside_you]

Suzie raised an eyebrow at the banner, and then at the rather Jesus-looking guy under it. "I think you're gonna have a long list there. More complaints than questions. You ready to have a few long days and nights of people streaming in and out complaining about their lives and how they suck to you? I could never do therapy shit like that."

[josh_h_christ]

"It's what I've always done," Josh replied, grinning. "You get used to it. How do you do? I go by Josh, but I've got more names than is actually rational."

[gets_inside_you]

She pointed at the sign. "Like Jesus, I see. Did someone slip you a little retcon and tell you a nice pile of lies lately?" Yeah, she was amused at the thought, how could you tell through that smirk?

[josh_h_christ]

Josh glanced up to look at what she was pointing at and smiled ruefully. "Nope, no lies. I'm the Son of God." He held out a pierced hand. "Need to stick a finger through? It helps a lot of people. I can also do the whole turning water into wine thing if you'd like it."

[30_pieces]

"You won't be crying, huh? Not too sure about that because if you really are Jesus...then you would know me right off and if you don't...well then, I'm offended."

[josh_h_christ]

Josh was quiet a moment. "I wasn't sure at first, when I saw you. You... um, you've really changed, Judas."

[30_pieces]

"Well, it has been quite a long time. Is this where you've been or have you had many adventures since you revolutionized the world?"

Judas seems bitter. Probably because he is.

[josh_h_christ]

"Um... just got her a few months ago myself. I was, um... in heaven before then." Josh seemed oddly vulnerable, and he looked away for a moment. "You seem to be doing... okay."

[lilypotter60]

She was just walking, on her way to the library, when she saw the sign. And she should just keep on walking, she knew, and yet...

"So," she said, not really meeting Josh's eyes, arms folded. "Is it funny, then, to do this? Or do you not have much to do with the whole 'love' thing?"

[josh_h_christ]

"Funny?" Josh asked,slightly puzzled. "There isn't anything funny about love. Um... just to clarify, what kind of love are we talking about here? Eros, philia, or agape? Though... hang on, there's no good translation for true pilia in English, so, um... let's try affection, friendship, romantic love, and charity, for mortal love. Or d'you want to discuss divine love, between God and humanity?"

[lilypotter60]

Lily's mouth actually dropped open a little and she blinked, bewildered. For some reason, she'd simply assumed that 'divinity' also meant 'mind reader'. For a second it appeared as if Lily would just turn and walk away. But then, with a sigh, Lily sank down into a seat, resting her elbows on the table and propping her head in her hands. "Romantic. Although friendship plays into it."

She hadn't exactly had a pleasant conversation with Josh the last time she'd seen him. And there certainly weren't any soft and fuzzy feelings growing at the moment. But... She needed advice. And the son of God probably would have a unique view. "I'm in love with my best mate," she said, all in a rush, as if she needed to get the words out before she lost her nerve. "But I can't be. Not the least of which because he doesn't love me; but also because I don't deserve him. Me loving him is probably the worst thing I could do to him. And I wondered... I wondered if you knew how I might go about...stopping."

[josh_h_christ]

Josh nodded. "Ah, that. I was wondering if you'd come talk to me about that. But, um... this may sound kinda awkward, but... I sorta... I sorta need you to tell me what kind of love you think it is. Do you- is it the kind of love where you just want to sleep with him, or the kind of love where you would give up everything to see him happy?"

He rubbed at the scars on his forehead. "And look- are you sure about the he doesn't love you bit? Because um... I think you may be, um...." Josh trailed off a moment. "Okay. So, love is like a mustard seed." A bit defensively, he added, "What? I like mustard seeds. Okay, so love is like a mustard seed. It starts out really small- so small that you can't see it- and then it grows and grows until it sinks its tree roots down into your heart and sorta... sorta takes over. The thing is, the mustard seed grows into this tree, and you know it's there because you feel it growing and you know that is branches are crowding its judgments, but sometimes- sometimes other people have tress growing inside them

[researcher42]

Complaints and questions about the universe addressed here.

The sign made Ford laugh. "That is one heck of an advertisement. Do you have any idea what you're getting into? Actually, you probably know exactly what you're getting into." He remembered Josh from his sorting, and of course he was familiar with the man's reputation as well. You couldn't spend long on Earth without someone knocking on your door to tell you about Jesus. (Although Ford had noticed that those people who knocked on doors acted really shocked if you invited them in and started taking notes).

"I have a question to ask. Or rather, an answer to question. Do you have anything to do with the whole 42 thing?"

[josh_h_christ]

Josh smiled sheepishly. "Well, thought everyone might need it. Um... no, sorry. I'm good with threes- y'know, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost as part of the Holy Trinity- but I didn't have anything to do with 42 being the answer to life, the universe, and everything."

[researcher42]

"I'm sure they do, I mean, everyone needs some answers right?"

Ford pulled a notebook out of his satchel and flipped to a page filled with numbers and notes. He'd been working on different interpretations of the answer, aided by some arithmancy texts he'd found in the library. He'd started the project party to try to make some sense of the universe and mostly because it gave him something to do. At the bottom of the page he wrote 3 - Christianity.

"Three. That makes sense." Holy Trinity, three theological virtues, three patriarchs, three kings, three Marys, three holy cities. Actually he was pretty sure that last one was a different religion, but it was definitely one of those one god ones, so it should count anyway.

[josh_h_christ]

"Three's a good number," Josh replied placidly. "Shows up all the time."

[mmmax_headroom]

A skateboard rolls up to Josh's table, and hydraulic arms accordion up to lift an ancient, battered TV set to table level. The screen crackles to life, and Max Headroom appears with a pop.

"Hi Hi Hi - Hi there! A leEeEeEettle something I've always wondered about."

The head leans in close to the screen to peer at Jesus. "Do I have a soul?"

[josh_h_christ]

((ooc; is there anything in Max's canon that says that he doesn't?))

"Um... you're a TV, aren't you?" Josh looked across the table at the TV. "Yeah, to answer you ques- wait, how can you, um... move? Do you just... propel yourself with the arms or something? How do you control the arms, though?"

[mmmax_headroom]

((I don't remember the question ever coming up at all; if it did, it wasn't dealt with in any depth. Hey, it was network TV. :D But since he is an entirely digital recreation of a preexisting human mind, I wondered.))

"I-I-I have no idea now I move, to tell you the truth. I want to be somewhere and the skateboard just gets me there. I assume it's magic. Back home I could just zip around the Nets from set to set to set. Here I'm stuck in this one box."

One digital shoulder shrugged, a pixelly halo forming and settling around it with the motion.

[josh_h_christ]

"Um... that's pretty cool." Josh looked at Max a minute. "Um... sort of. It's complicated. Since like, really, really, really originally, you were made by God, you do. But now, since you're sort of... human- made, we'd have to have a delegation of angels to sort out if you really do or not."