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Start of the End I guess.
I think this is the start of the end. She’s not talking to me unless the girls are around. She doesn’t engage with me unless it’s something needed for the home. I’m trying to keep her and she doesn’t seem like she’s making an effort. I’m hurting, I’m feeling low. I feel like I have go constantly distract myself so I don’t allow the depression that ( Read more... ) -
and here we are
Well it's been quite a long minute but I'm still here. Binge watching the big bang theory, having a quiet drink while the house sleeps. Just realizing how much of a dumbass I am for not realizing that I'm sitting in the kitchen and I could see the clocks the whole time. geez. While playing a game online, so I couldnt see my PCs clock, and watching ( Read more... ) -
Still drinking
Seems like it’s basically a daily thing now. From 2018 where it seemed like I was drinking more, now I am drinking daily. Sometimes quite a few drinks. Working from home has caused it among a few other reasons. I’m just tired, a little (maybe a lot) stressed and need to get away. But it’s hard when your home is also your office. There is no leaving ( Read more... ) -
It pains me.
It pains me to miss you. To think about you at random points in the day and night. You will forever live in my heart. I hate that I miss you. I will always love you.
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Drinks
About what I said yesterday. I don’t know. I’m sitting here drinking. I’m being cordial with my wife, cordial. I’m tired but I don’t want to go to bed. I just want to drink until I pass out. I’m watching the fast and the furious ( the first one) and contemplating. My everything hurts, I need. Another drink. I want that eclipse, and the Supra. Keep ( Read more... ) -
Pain
Sometimes I fully understand the phrase “cheaper to keep her.” And it saddens me.
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J.B.
Man just for a week I would love to be James motherfuckin Bond. Damn I would be amazing.
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Believe
My eldest asked me to believe. She leaned over very secretive and asked me to believe. She's knows in her heart that Santa is real. And that's enough for me to believe as well.
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Separation from myself
How do you separate your emotions from work as to emotions outside of work? I mean like when I'm working it's just I can't help but let anger bleed out of me or seep into my voice. I don't know why I let people get to me sometimes. I guess it's the fact that they don't let me get my point a across before cutting me off. I get fired up real easy and ( Read more... )